Never Use Your Friend's Hairspray

And while we are on the topic of gross things and my hair...

I was traveling for work with a friend of mine (we'll just call her Rita). We were flying to Boston on the same flight. I was supposed to fly up and back the same day while Rita had to stay for a week (ha ha, taking one for the team).

Anyway, I ended up going to the wrong airport, missed my flight, had to take a later flight (I should interject here and say I lied to Rita and told her some stupid story so she wouldn't be mad at me for missing my flight - later, over a few beers when I had a bad case of strep, I confessed the truth, I don't know the difference between Reagan and Dulles, duh).

Since I was on a later flight I decided to stay the night in Boston, but of course I had nothing with me. I got a free toothbrush (which, for the record, I wouldn't have used to brush a camel's teeth - it was an implement of torture with bristles on it that were so harsh my teeth were thinner by 1 mm after using it and they had scratch marks on them to boot) and toothpaste from the hotel so I was able to brush my teeth that evening before we went to dinner.

I didn't have any stuff for my hair though so I went to Rita's room to fix my hair (note: fixing hair = put hairspray on it and maybe it will look better, or at the very least it will freeze in place so it won't look worse).

Rita was in the bathroom so I took the liberty of (surreptitiously) using her deodorant, mascara, dental floss (I love dental floss), mouthwash (straight from the bottle) and then her hairspray.
We went to a bar and while we were sitting there drinking I told her (I am always in confession mode when drinking) that I had used some of her toiletries, or actually, I was just planning on confessing to using her hairspray because I felt a little guilty (especially about the deodorant).
She looked at me puzzled for a moment and then said "I didn't bring any hairspray" at which point I insisted "yes you did, in the white bottle with the blue cap".

"That wasn't hair spray" she said "that was foot spray for a fungal infection I have from the gym".

Eccchhh....true story