almost death by power point

So the main reason I came to Seoul was to do a seminar today on a military framework I support. I put together some slides, which were revised all Sunday night, which is why I didn't get any sleep. I thought I was presenting to 50 people.

I show up at the seminar and find out there's 200 people. I only had half the time I thought to do my presentation because it was being interpreted. My computer mouse died right as I was revising my presentation, 10 minutes before I had to give it. The interpreter was freaking out that she didn't have a paper copy to translate from because I couldn't get the copy off my computer without a mouse.

Anyway, those issues were overcome, but then right before my presentation they showed this cartoon about a knight slaying a dragon. I was standing at the podium like what the fuck is going on? At the end of the cartoon the woman running the seminar looked at me and was like "Go!" because the time schedule was so tight.

I fully admit to bungling my way through the presentation. Because of the computer problems and slide changes I didn't get to practice doing the presentation with the interpreter, and it was really hard. She was translating me almost sentence for sentence, and would sometimes interrupt me before I was finished talking to interpret and I would lose my train of thought. Not that I blame her and she did a very good job, it was my lack of experience presenting with an interpreter that was the problem. They did laugh at the one joke I made, and, when I realized the audience was totally confused by my presentation, I ended it and opened the floor to discussion.

It turns out, the audience's confusion was caused because they thought I was presenting on some other topic. Seems my compadres at the company I work for switched my topic without telling me.

The interpreter had warned me beforehand that no one would ask questions so not to even ask if anyone had a question. But, with time left over and the audience looking at me in a confused manner, I figured, why not? The first question was "why didn't you present on X topic and why did you present on Y topic". Yeah. Don't know the answer to that one...

Surprisingly, I got a lot of good questions, and that was really the best part of the presentation. I got the interest of a colonel whom I'm meeting with tomorrow. And I think it was more entertaining for the audience than the other presentations which didn't have questions.

Everyone else on my team seemed happy with the way things went. So I'm trying to not feel too badly about it. And at least I learned what to do in the future.

The highlight of the seminar was getting to try 5 different kinds of kim chee at lunch.

bulk head breakers and other seoul adventures

Well, this has been one of my more...interesting...trips.

To start off, I got to LA and was trying to take a bus to the international terminal. The problem is, I got on the wrong bus, and only realized when we started heading into downtown LA. I had mis-read the sign on the front of the bus. Blame it on being really tired. Anyway, the bus driver let me off about 15 minutes away from the airport and called one of his other bus buddies to pick me up. Then another bus passenger, who is a security guard at LAX gave me a free bus pass.

So I got on the other bus and the guy completely skipped his route to take me back to the airport. The catch is he was an adventist and kept trying to convert me. I listened politely since he did me a favor.

Then I got on the plane and luckily business wasn't that crowded. And I had a seat that reclined all the way back. That was great fun to play with until I broke it. I accidentally closed one of my shoes up in the chair and it took two stewardesses to pull it out. The guy sitting across the aisle from me was doing god knows what and ripped his plastic magazine holder off the wall. They couldn't fix that.

The kosher dinner that Korean Airlines had was crap. And it was the same dinner twice. The stewardesses brought me a bunch of fruit and cheese to eat. I was surprised as the kosher food is usually better than the regular stuff. I don't think I'm going to order it on the trip home.

Then I got into Seoul and had to take another bus to my hotel. The problem is, there are two intercontinental hotels. I went to the wrong one. They directed me to the right one but it took a while for me to find it. I ended up going to another wrong hotel, and a convention center with the same name as my hotel before I got here.

But, I'm here. The air conditioning is working. They have US plugs. And I don't have to leave for the office until 9 am. I might try to find the gym, or I may just go to the bar...

almost death by chocolate

I took time off today from running around like a maniac getting ready for my last minute trip to Seoul to go to the grocery. My parents are coming into town on Thursday (I won't be there, I'll be in Korea) and I had to get some food as the only thing in my house, pre-trip, that was edible was 6 bags of edamame, a box of cereal, and some month old feta cheese.

I was in one of the middle aisles looking for snacks to take on the plane with me. I normally only shop on the periphery of the grocery store, but this trip I had to go down some aisles to get the stuff my parents want. Anyway, I was leaning over to look at the biggest bag of Haribo gummi bears I've ever seen, when the bill of my cap hit what turned out to be a precariously balanced shelf of M&Ms. One of the bags slipped off, and like lemmings, the others followed. One bag hit me in the face and another hit my shoulder. I threw up my hand to try to stop the slide and accidentally hit a bag on the shelf above, and that shelf avalanched too.

I tried to get out of the way but one of the bags had broken open so I slipped on the pile of M&Ms that had come out of the bag. That caused me to step on another bag that also burst open. I tried to get away from that bag and tripped over a bag of peanut M&Ms. It broke open too. Every time I moved it seemed another bag would wedge itself between my foot and my flip flops.

The guy who had been stocking shelves at the end of the aisle came running over. I was going to try to run away but I was buried in M&Ms. He said something to me in spanish that I'm quite sure I'm glad I couldn't translate.

We put as many bags back on the shelf as we could (note: never buy M&Ms at the Safeway in five points) and then he wandered off muttering epithets at me. Hopefully he was going to get a broom. I almost fell again as I tried to push my cart out of the M&M mess. The whole time I was walking through the grocery M&Ms kept falling out of my cart and onto the floor. It was mortifying.

And then I got yelled at for going into the express lane. I tried to point out to the woman that there was no sign indicating it was the express lane, but she yelled at me "THE SIGN IS RIGHT THERE!", pointing to a sign that was one check out lane over.

And anyway, I only had 12 items. And the express lane is 15 items or less.

I will never, ever go grocery shopping again.