Calgary is a zoo

I went to the airport and got my work permit today. Crazily, I was in the waiting room for 45 minutes. I started to get worried. Then the agent that was helping me came out and said they had just arrested a guy for manslaughter who was coming in to Calgary and that's why it took so long for him to retrieve my work permit. As he was stapling my work permit into my passport two agents led the manslaughter guy out in handcuffs.

That Calgary airport is a little insane.



Then I went to the zoo. I decided to walk not realizing the entrance off the Bow Riverwalk was closed for the winter. I went the wrong way trying to find the main gate. I ended up walking around the zoo and then walking down a busy "highway" (I don't know, in Canada it might be a highway, it was like 285 in Denver).



I saw some cool animals:

Grizzly bear making his way back into his man made cave. It doesn't look scary in this pic but it was a big bear.

Zebra: note to self, get invited to better christmas parties - these birds stink

"I'm NOT a republican"

(spider monkeys) - "It's FUCKING cold."

releasing your (hee) inner energy

Today I decided to get a massage since my neck still hurts a little. And the spa is on the same floor as the gym so it was convenient to go after my workout.

The woman who did my massage was a stocky but very short indian. She was dressed like a nurse in pink scrubs. I normally giggle my way through a massage (don't know why, as soon as that new age music comes on I feel like laughing). Then, to make matters worse, as I was laying on my back and she was rubbing my shoulders she farted. It was one of those "I thought I was going to get away with it" short high pitched farts. To make matters worse she whispered "oops!" under her breath, no doubt assuming I was asleep. It took every ounce of will power to not descend into hysterical laughter.

I tipped her well.

And, earlier this week, I was listening to this obnoxious guy who works for my company drone on and on in a very loud voice about cloud computing. At one point to show off he said "I'm sitting in my own private cloud right now!"

I had to leave the office for a few minutes until I could get myself under control. It still makes me laugh.

oh, and then the ceiling collapsed

I walked into the office today to discover that the water heater above the area where I work had burst a pipe. Running water all day while I was trying to work. Seriously. Who has an office with a water feature? More like water torture...

waiter...or weirdo?

The sales guys and I went out to dinner at this steak place called Caesar's that is supposedly some old money oil business steak place. I had salmon. They made fun of me.

Then the waiter, an older gent, you know, one of those guys who was probably a roadie for Bob Seger doing a lot of drugs and then ends up as a waiter in a cheap tux looking suit serving shit head consultants like me, took an interest in me. Why I don't know, except maybe I was probably the youngest woman in the joint or at least the only one who didn't look like my face was made of leather.

First he asked where I was from. I guess I haven't perfected my canadian accent (though my spelling is getting better - or they probably spell it "bettre"). There was an awkward moment when he asked me to hold the split in my baked potato open so he could put sour cream in it. No one, in any restaurant, has ever asked me to do that, I swear he was trying to put sour cream on my fingers.

Then, after I declined to have my leftovers wrapped, he asked which hotel I was staying in. I was totally caught off guard (it probably seems harmless when you read it here - it was more the way he said it, like he was going to come by when his shift was off and murder me). I fumbled for something to say trying to not look at the sales guy sitting in front of me because he had this totally shocked look on his face. I lied and said I was staying at some hotel I walk by and he said "yes, I know that place well". An embarrassing silence descended the table as the waiter leaned in towards me as if assessing which limb he would cut off first. Then he walked away.

The sales guys started making fun of me AGAIN. One was like "why would he ask where you're staying?" and the other guy was like "that just seemed so inappropriate". The waiter came by again and spent 15 minutes telling me about a hurricane that hit Calgary (actually, it wasn't a hurricane). The whole situation was weird and getting weirder by the second. He was giving me creepy attention.

We left without having dessert. The sales guys wanted to go to a micro brewery but I was too tired. And who knows what weirdos would be hanging out there.

moving down, moving up

I checked into my hotel on Sunday night and thought my room was a little warm but figured it was because the last occupant (likely middle eastern - there's a lot of them at the hotel - I'm not being racist) had the heat fully cranked. It was 86 degrees F when I got in there. After opening two windows and turning the thermostat to 50 I got the temp down to 79. I didn't get much sleep.

The next morning I figured out there was a problem because the temp hadn't changed at all. I called the front desk and they promised to fix it. I got home from the customer site super late (1 am) and realized my room was fucking hot, still. I was too tired to do anything and opened the windows again. I had the worst night's sleep ever.

So Tuesday morning I called the front desk again. They promised to fix the heat, again. Fucking liars. I got home at 7 Tuesday night and my room was scorching hot.

I called the front desk and they sent up a maintenance guy. He was like "this is not going to get fixed anytime soon". I called the front desk again and asked for a new room. The guy I talked to said the hotel was sold out. He offered to turn down the boiler and recommended I open the windows really wide. I was like look fucker, I need a NEW ROOM. He offered me a smoking room after I threatened to leave the hotel. They said they'd send up a bell hop with my new keys who would also help me move.

Then the front desk called back and said a guy was checking in who wanted to switch his room for smoking. Since I hate smoking rooms I was like "sure". Seconds later the bell hop showed up and didn't believe me when I told him he had to go back to the lobby to get different keys for me. He was french, and therefore dramatic and not entirely smart. He was arguing with me like I would make up this shit. Finally he said "I'm going down to check this out. I may or may not see you again."

The end of the story is that I moved from the 27th floor to the 10th floor. I'm used to staying on the top floors so it was a little weird having to go to the 10th floor. But I ended up with a suite that has a kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom (obviously) and 2 bedrooms. Oh, and a private balcony.

Just got home after work and dinner with two sales guys. My room is freezing. Just cranked up the heat.

Hee.

not edmunton

Ech. I got on my plane today to fly to Calgary and the pilot kept saying we were going to Edmonton. I figured he was just an idiot (and flying our plane - yipes). The stewardess finally stuck her head in the cockpit (I was in bulk head so heard the whole thing) and said "we're going to Calgary!" and he was like "but the cloud cover is low, they are directing us to Edmonton as a back up".

I was like fuck fuck fuck. I did not want to land in Edmonton and then have to drive to Calgary in a shit rental car in a snow storm.

Luckily the weather cleared and we were able to land in calgon. I was the first person off the plane and cruised through the first part of customs. Then I had to wait in line to get my new work visa. No problem. There was only like 6 people in front of me, none of whom spoke english or even seemed to understand the concept of approaching the counter to talk to an immigration officer.

Luckily (I guess) the woman who denied me a year long visa last time I came through calgon saw me in line and waved me over. She was like "you're back, I recognized your hat" and I said "I normally don't wash my hair for at least a week before I come here so I have to wear a hat". She smiled, demanded to see my diploma for my master's degree (I actually had it this time), updated the system so I never have to bring my degree again, decided that since my customer was bringing me back I must know what I'm doing, asked a few questions about my resume, and then gave me a year long work permit.

Good news.

Except. The fucking printer wasn't working. So I have to go back to the airport this weekend and get my permit because she couldn't print it for me. She swore I could wait until I flew out to pick it up but my current permit expires 15 December and I'm here until 17 December. I don't want to get in trouble. I'll probably go to the airport this weekend.

I have to admit she was really nice this time. And I waited in line longer to get my rental car (hey, I'm president's circle, I have to wait in line??????) than to get my work permit.

My room is nice, but not as nice as the last time I stayed at this hotel. I got a king sized bed but my chair doesn't have an ottoman. They are trying to find one for me. Given some of the hotels I've stayed in I don't even know why I'm complaining.

update on my dad

We were talking on Sunday morning and my dad said that his doctor found a swollen lymph node in his groin. It could be bad as my dad has had very aggressive cancer. I'm hoping it's okay because lymph node cancer usually doesn't hurt (he was having pain which is how they found the mass in his lymph node) and his blood work came back okay.

He has a biopsy and MRI on Friday. Stay tuned...