What a fucking day. First, I was all packed up and ready to head to the office when I realized I couldn't find my rental car keys. I've never lost my keys before. I madly searched my room, backpack, suitcase, and the backpack again when I remembered I had put my keys in a plastic grocery bag with my nectarines and blueberries when returning from the grocery last night.
I pulled the bag out of the trash and discovered a huge hole in the plastic bag.
Fuck.
So I went down to the front desk and asked if anyone had turned in rental car keys. They had. Happy day. But then the woman at the front desk refused to give me the keys.
Grrr.
Surprisingly I was able to remember the make and color of the car. I never remember that. I usually just head for the area where I know I parked and click the unlock button until I see the tail lights of the car blinking.
After much wrangling with the front desk and signing of papers saying I was the rightful owner (3 different docs the front desk woman typed up - really????) I was given my keys.
A half hour later, in the office, I get a call from Merry Maids. They managed to break a large mirror in my bedroom. A mirror they aren't even supposed to dust since they've broken so many other things in my house. Guess I'll get that sorted when I get home Friday.
A new hire was in the office across from mine. He belched all day like he was at a fraternity party and made grunting noises that sounded like he was giving birth. Even with my door closed I could hear him.
Then I spent 5 1/2 hours in a meeting with two "EA consultants" that were big on academic bullshit and small on "okay, how are we going to fucking do that in real life????"
And today I answered 3 emails about the old software tool I used to support since my customers from my previous job can't seem to get anyone at my old company to answer their questions. Gotta stop doing that. One of my customers also called me at 8 PM today and left a 5 minute message.
People. I don't work there anymore. Stop. Calling. Me.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
an englishman in Colorado
This weekend I entertained a work colleague who is from Britain, Pascal. We have worked together for 6 years.
He is still on UK time even though he had been in the US for a week. So we ended up staying up until 3 am on Friday talking about Archimate. Saturday morning, early, like around 8 am, he lectured me for an hour on the style of brick laying used in my house. Apparently in the UK they use Flemish style for their brickwork. I forget what my house was. He also said I did the worst job ever patching the mortar in the bricks and pointed out to me the patch I used was not meant for patching mortar made in the 1880s because it's made of....something...and the patch I used is made of...something else...so they don't bond. I was kind of hung over and sleep deprived so that conversation was a blur.
To distract him from the bricks, for fear he would start removing my patches, I showed him a silver cigarette case that my friend Arthur gave me. He immediately looked up the symbols and established that the case was made in 1893 (I think that's what he said) and that it's good sterling silver. There was something about the lion stamp on the case (the raging lion? the up paw lion? the mad lion? it was the something lion) which established where the case was made (Birmingham, in UK).
At one point he said "I always yawn too when people are lecturing me and I'm bored".
I took him on Sunday to buy an iPad. I really wonder if that was a good idea. He looked up the stuff about the bricks and my cigarette case on his phone. Giving him a larger display may be the biggest disaster ever.
He comes back next weekend. He was eyeing my movie projector after talking about how he loves to take things apart. I think I'll take him out for some exercise so he won't damage any of the electronics in my house.
And, mad props to Pascie for his cooking. He made omelets (though he said my frying pan was "inadequate"), scrambled eggs, filet mignon, and he sharpened all of my kitchen knives after making disdainful comments about how I needed to sharpen them every week (I've never sharpened them and have owned most of them for over 5 years - hm, may get him to sharpen my ice axes and crampons so I can sleep in).
While drinking on Saturday night, around 2 am, I may have promised to make him banana pudding. Help, please.
Pascal, if you are reading this, you are NOT going to take apart my projector or my stereo. Ever. Comprende?
He is still on UK time even though he had been in the US for a week. So we ended up staying up until 3 am on Friday talking about Archimate. Saturday morning, early, like around 8 am, he lectured me for an hour on the style of brick laying used in my house. Apparently in the UK they use Flemish style for their brickwork. I forget what my house was. He also said I did the worst job ever patching the mortar in the bricks and pointed out to me the patch I used was not meant for patching mortar made in the 1880s because it's made of....something...and the patch I used is made of...something else...so they don't bond. I was kind of hung over and sleep deprived so that conversation was a blur.
To distract him from the bricks, for fear he would start removing my patches, I showed him a silver cigarette case that my friend Arthur gave me. He immediately looked up the symbols and established that the case was made in 1893 (I think that's what he said) and that it's good sterling silver. There was something about the lion stamp on the case (the raging lion? the up paw lion? the mad lion? it was the something lion) which established where the case was made (Birmingham, in UK).
At one point he said "I always yawn too when people are lecturing me and I'm bored".
I took him on Sunday to buy an iPad. I really wonder if that was a good idea. He looked up the stuff about the bricks and my cigarette case on his phone. Giving him a larger display may be the biggest disaster ever.
He comes back next weekend. He was eyeing my movie projector after talking about how he loves to take things apart. I think I'll take him out for some exercise so he won't damage any of the electronics in my house.
And, mad props to Pascie for his cooking. He made omelets (though he said my frying pan was "inadequate"), scrambled eggs, filet mignon, and he sharpened all of my kitchen knives after making disdainful comments about how I needed to sharpen them every week (I've never sharpened them and have owned most of them for over 5 years - hm, may get him to sharpen my ice axes and crampons so I can sleep in).
While drinking on Saturday night, around 2 am, I may have promised to make him banana pudding. Help, please.
Pascal, if you are reading this, you are NOT going to take apart my projector or my stereo. Ever. Comprende?
man pulls, part 2
I talked to my parents and my friends about buying the man pulls for my kitchen since they are ridiculously expensive.
And everyone, including my dad who is possibly the cheapest person on the planet, was like "you idiot, of course you should buy them".
So I did. Though, I can't believe I just paid $600 for three cabinet pulls. I'm never moving, and if I do I'm taking my man pulls with me.
And everyone, including my dad who is possibly the cheapest person on the planet, was like "you idiot, of course you should buy them".
So I did. Though, I can't believe I just paid $600 for three cabinet pulls. I'm never moving, and if I do I'm taking my man pulls with me.
hummingbirds
My cousin was on NPR talking about hummingbirds.
Which is cool because I love hummingbirds ever since I almost killed one who buzzed me when I was out on a balcony smoking (my dad and I were doing some 14ers and staying in a hotel in the mountains and I had a coconut gel in my hair - I thought the hummingbird was a big mosquito - I live in the city dudes and had never seen a hummingbird before).
I had a hummingbird feeder in my yard, hung from my neighbor's tree which used to be in my yard until it fell and crushed my butterfly bushes. He's a major dick and pulled the feeder out of the tree and smashed it on my patio. I haven't seen any hummingbirds in my yard since but I think maybe they'll come back next year.
Which is cool because I love hummingbirds ever since I almost killed one who buzzed me when I was out on a balcony smoking (my dad and I were doing some 14ers and staying in a hotel in the mountains and I had a coconut gel in my hair - I thought the hummingbird was a big mosquito - I live in the city dudes and had never seen a hummingbird before).
I had a hummingbird feeder in my yard, hung from my neighbor's tree which used to be in my yard until it fell and crushed my butterfly bushes. He's a major dick and pulled the feeder out of the tree and smashed it on my patio. I haven't seen any hummingbirds in my yard since but I think maybe they'll come back next year.
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