calling all creative spirits who like rockets!!!!!

I have been so enjoying the stories about the N Korean rocket that fell apart. I'm not being mean spirited. It's just that anyone with half a fucking brain knows the future is not about weapons that are material. It's about hackers and software. All the weapons in the world aren't going to save you if they get hacked because every weapon system has...embedded software! And they don't work without it.

Anyway, tonight on a late conf call with my customer I decided I'm going to build the next gen N Korean rocket tomorrow based on shit I have around my house. If you build one and send me a picture I'll post it (c'mon Bob and Steve, it will be FUN).

This project is not in any way an excuse for putting off my other, more practical project, which is to install a new black out screen I bought for my huge front window that I tried to put up today but got the brackets mis-aligned.

Ech. Fucking straight lines.

more entertaining than taxes

A bunch of people at work are taking Thursday and Friday off to do their taxes.

Seriously?

One word: accountant. Paying someone to do your taxes is tax deductible. I haven't done my own taxes since 1994.

Then I was reminded of my shoe calculation spreadsheet (how to calculate the total number of shoes you can reasonably own. More entertaining than taxes.

mile high geeking

Technologically speaking this has been a productive week for me.

I finally re-imaged my old desktop that I use to connect to the internet and cleaned everything off of it. Today I installed a repeater and boosted my wireless from 71% (damn brick walls!) to 91% Also, my tablet is screaming fast accessing the internet.

And I received my new samsung laptop today which has 6, yeah 6, GB of RAM. It's screaming fast. And sexy. I love it.

And on my online meeting today I came up with a way for my customer to seamlessly manage his stories (he does scrum development) through a tricked out report. Seriously, he was so excited he told me he loved me.

Which he doesn't. He's married.

But he loves enterprise architecture and the tool I support. I've rarely met anyone so interested in the arcane details of architecture. I name drop people you've never heard of (like Grady Booch, who lives in Colorado BTW). Today I talked to him for an hour about structured and unstructured methods and he took notes. Usually no one cares when I talk about math related anything.

Maybe my customer has a bit of a brain crush on me. It happens. I've never met him in real life.

It's weird, speaking of love. I love writing, but I love being an engineer. To become an engineering fellow at my company would be as great, if not better, than being a best selling author, though no one but me would give a shit.

That's some fucked up goals. Like wanting to be a great programmer and a luddite at the same time...

wouldn't you like to be my neighbor...but live really far away from me

As the president of my HOA (I live in a row house with three other units in it). I have a few annoying responsibilities, like trying to get people to pay their dues, cleaning up the trash out front because the other people don't do it, pruning bushes, shoveling snow, etc.

My neighbor, who is a first class dick (I put up with his dogs barking for two years before he finally did something, and that only after we almost had a physical altercation), was in charge last year of getting our house painted since I was traveling too much to do it and he thought the four contractors I had out to get estimates gave estimates that were too high. He, of course, failed to get the house painted.

Two years ago he was "in charge" of getting our decks rebuilt because once again he thought the contractors I found were charging too much. I did all the research on decking material, rails, colors, etc. Let's see, what did he have to do? Get an estimate. Let people into my garage since I wasn't home when the decks were rebuilt. Let's just call him asshole.

The other day I sent this out:

We should probably make a decision about painting the house this summer. If we don't I think we should at least have some stucco work done and replace the front lights.

Asshole responded:

Let's paint and fix everything.  It has been to long.  Frankie, do you want to spear head this?  

The woman in the end unit sent:

Asshole, do you still have the paint sample we chose from the selection I brought to our meeting last spring?  

Asshole: 

Not sure, I will look for it.

Then:

Did we all sign off on this color???  I don't remember...

 

Finally, I really need you all to take an active role in your property.  Not living at your house or being gone frequently is not acceptable.  We all have busy lives and you need to do something.  I will not be stuck organizing and taking care of everyone properties again through this project.  Franki, as you have access to the bank account, lets us know where we stand.

 

I was like WHAT THE FUCK? He never even shovels when it snows. He insisted the HOA pay $75 to have a lawn service rake up our leaves because I was out of town and he was too lazy to do it. "Organizing and taking care of everyone's properties" - fucking WHATEVER. The guy does NOTHING.

 

I wrote:

 

Yes, the colors were signed off on at the last HOA meeting we had.

Everyone has access to the bank account through the internet. And Asshole, you should be receiving monthly statements. I can switch the address back to mine if that's easier*. And they should have mailed you an ATM card to access the account. The PIN for it as well as the bank access information is in the HOA PDF that I sent out a few years ago. There's a copy in the HOA files.

 

I hope he moves soon and someone cool moves in. It's annoying to be the only person that can get shit done, on top of not being thanked for it, and on top of his snarky comments about me traveling all the time. No really, I'd much rather be in an Holiday Inn in New Jersey than home, you fucking fuckwit. 

*I had them mailed to him when I went to the middle east

 

IKEA cult

I got up early on Monday so I could get into IKEA as soon as it opened to look at kitchen cabinets. I figured, Monday after a holiday...who would be at IKEA?

Answer: old people walking really slow and women with baby carriages blocking the aisles. Ech.

I haven't been to IKEA since the debacle of helping my friend Con Way who was in the midst of redoing his apartment and getting crushed by 600 lbs of closet doors.

I forgot how insane the place is. People every where, weird music playing, and these announcements made over the loudspeaker that make me think of The Prisoner or what I imagine a cult would be like.

I ran, almost literally, through a bunch of kitchens before I found cabinets I liked. I opened every cabinet and decided it was time to leave IKEA. I don't think I'll go back there alone and unarmed. They didn't have the raspberry cookies I like. Boo hoo.

Then today my contractor Neal came by to give me an estimate on redoing my kitchen and I'm probably going to go with cabinets from his cabinet guy because they're easier to customize. When all was said and done I agreed to let him redo my downstairs bathroom and my floors as well. That leaves only the gas fireplace and all the projects in my house are...

...no, better not say it. The house might be listening.

I'm meeting with an architect who's going to draw up some designs for me. This project is scary but it will be nice when it's done!

bike bitterness, which is not as dangerous as road rage

Spring has sprung, at least until the next snow storm, and all the mother fuckers were out on the bike trail today. Dammit, shouldn't you be celebrating easter and cooking dinner and shit?

Apparently there are a lot of fuckwads who don't understand the rules of a bike trail. So, here's a few for those who ingested paint chips or lack common sense:

-It's called a bike path because it's for BIKES. That's why there's a pedestrian path for PEDESTRIANS. Why are you and your eight spastic kids walking on the BIKE PATH and running in front of my bike and not yielding at least part of the path so I can get past your annoying asses?
-I believe I may be the only biker who says "on your right" so people will know I'm about to pass. It's annoying when a group of racers blows past me. It's also annoying when people don't yield. Get your fucking cruiser out of Jake the Snake's way or you will have a tire up your ass. This is particularly meant for that fucker redneck guy who refused to yield on the trail when I told him I was passing. Three times I tried to pass him and he purposely blocked my way. Finally I passed him on an uphill turn (nice to have a lot of gears) and he tried to swerve into me, then yelled "passing on a turn is dangerous!" (guess he's never seen the tour de france).
-A bike trail is bi-directional by design. You ride out for a while, then you come back. This isn't England. Ride on your side of the trail so I don't have to slam on my brakes coming around a turn because you are riding on the wrong side of the trail.
-Dogs not on leashes are not cool. Believe that I will have no remorse if your hinky dog runs at my front tire seconds before I pass him and I run him over. Also, walking on one side of the trail, and having your dog on the other, with the leash stretching across the trail is a good way to cause a massive accident. If you're that fucking stupid you shouldn't have a pet. and you should be on a leash.

Guess I'll have to go back to not riding on the weekends. During the week days the riders are less stupid.