Today I was surprised to find a little envelope in my stack of mail. It was from Abbi, whom I met at the San Fran airport a few weeks ago.
I can't believe I'm such a crackhead that I forgot to mention that Abbi is riding her bike cross country to raise money for Avenues, a shelter for homeless youth. If you check out the link for her trip you'll find a blog of her trip as well as information on where to make a donation. I've been enjoying her blog (and am envious, as I sit around working instead of having an adventure). Check it out, there's lots of great pictures. She even takes pictures of her food and biking injuries.
In any case, after I met her I made a donation to Avenues. The card she sent me was a thank you card. She's quit smoking (good, I'm next) and she wrote a really nice note about my donation.
I donate to a lot of charities, and it's always nice to get a hand written thank you with a personal note. Which she wrote in a campsite after riding all day.
If you have some spare change why not make a donation...
Friday, September 16, 2011
I can't make this incompetence up
I have to teach a makeup class for that class in August that went badly due to hardware and software issues.
You would think my company would take resolving the issues with the laptops seriously. The class starts next week and I'm still not sure the problem is fixed. Total nightmare.
These are excerpts from actual emails (I've bolded the really insane parts):
Me:
Can you follow up on the laptop problem or direct me to the person I need to talk to about what happened in the class with the laptops? We need to make sure the issue is resolved.
Training coordinator:
I have sent the notes you provided to our IT team, to investigate the issue surrounding the performance of the laptops. No news yet.
IT (4 days later):
The systems have 3gb of RAM and one processor so that should have worked.
I tested the image on four systems:
1. 3GB ram xp (used for class) - 1:04 min to boot to vm image
2. 3 GB ram xp (used for class) - 1:00 min to boot to vm image
3. 3.2 ram xp two processors - 51.5 sec to boot vm image
4. 4 GB ram two processors - Win7 - 30 sec to boot to vm image
Me:
Testing the image is critical to diagnosing whether the problem is the image or the hardware. Just testing the bootup time for the VMWare image doesn't address the problem.
IT (3 days later):
I could not test the VMWare image because I don't have the password.
Me:
The password is (blahblah). It was on the documentation sent with the VMWare image.
IT (2 days later):
I have done everything I have time to complete. I wish I had time to test the other performance issues but I have to start the builds for next week.
(basically, IT is going to build the machines without knowing if the problems are fixed - and all they did was time how long it took for the VMWare to boot up - adding the numbers, that means they did 5 minutes of testing).
Training developer:
Are the laptops still available or have they been reconfigured? If they are available, can we do one or two tests as suggested by Franki?
Training coordinator:
If you'd like to order one laptop (the same as used for the class) pre-configured with the image than an asset request can be arranged so that you can test it.
Me:
If you need me to do the testing you'll have to send the laptop to my hotel. I am currently on an engagement in Houston.
NOTE: Testing the laptops is NOT my job.
IT:
We can only ship a laptop to your residence.
Me:
I won't be home until a week before the new class and if there are problems that only gives us 2 days to fix them before you ship the new machines.
Training Developer:
You can send the laptop to me and I will test it.
(NOTE: testing IS the training developer's job)
Training Developer:
I received the Computer to test, but there is no VM image on it.... Please advice (sic).
IT:
I did not realize you needed the VMWare image. Only IT can access or download VMWare images.
Amazingly, with all these people involved, I still am not sure the problem is fixed. Next week may be a bad week...
You would think my company would take resolving the issues with the laptops seriously. The class starts next week and I'm still not sure the problem is fixed. Total nightmare.
These are excerpts from actual emails (I've bolded the really insane parts):
Me:
Can you follow up on the laptop problem or direct me to the person I need to talk to about what happened in the class with the laptops? We need to make sure the issue is resolved.
Training coordinator:
I have sent the notes you provided to our IT team, to investigate the issue surrounding the performance of the laptops. No news yet.
IT (4 days later):
The systems have 3gb of RAM and one processor so that should have worked.
I tested the image on four systems:
1. 3GB ram xp (used for class) - 1:04 min to boot to vm image
2. 3 GB ram xp (used for class) - 1:00 min to boot to vm image
3. 3.2 ram xp two processors - 51.5 sec to boot vm image
4. 4 GB ram two processors - Win7 - 30 sec to boot to vm image
Me:
Testing the image is critical to diagnosing whether the problem is the image or the hardware. Just testing the bootup time for the VMWare image doesn't address the problem.
IT (3 days later):
I could not test the VMWare image because I don't have the password.
Me:
The password is (blahblah). It was on the documentation sent with the VMWare image.
IT (2 days later):
I have done everything I have time to complete. I wish I had time to test the other performance issues but I have to start the builds for next week.
(basically, IT is going to build the machines without knowing if the problems are fixed - and all they did was time how long it took for the VMWare to boot up - adding the numbers, that means they did 5 minutes of testing).
Training developer:
Are the laptops still available or have they been reconfigured? If they are available, can we do one or two tests as suggested by Franki?
Training coordinator:
If you'd like to order one laptop (the same as used for the class) pre-configured with the image than an asset request can be arranged so that you can test it.
Me:
If you need me to do the testing you'll have to send the laptop to my hotel. I am currently on an engagement in Houston.
NOTE: Testing the laptops is NOT my job.
IT:
We can only ship a laptop to your residence.
Me:
I won't be home until a week before the new class and if there are problems that only gives us 2 days to fix them before you ship the new machines.
Training Developer:
You can send the laptop to me and I will test it.
(NOTE: testing IS the training developer's job)
Training Developer:
I received the Computer to test, but there is no VM image on it.... Please advice (sic).
IT:
I did not realize you needed the VMWare image. Only IT can access or download VMWare images.
Amazingly, with all these people involved, I still am not sure the problem is fixed. Next week may be a bad week...
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
on "artificial" intelligence
Yesterday my friend d sent me an xkcd comic. It gave me an idea for an iPhone app. I asked my brothers if the app would be feasible to create:
Bob wrote:
What you've developed could easily be implemented with a Bayesian tree. Some guy wrote a chess-playing email spam filter using this - the spam filter would reap through already played games looking for similar moves, pick the next move from a game that won, and reply with that move (in the form of a 'rejected email' notification) http://dbacl.sourceforge.net/spam_chess-1.html
I'm a fan of simply scrambling the orig message into anagrams (joe into EOJ) then truncating everything to 3 or 4 letters then injecting random punctuation. The sender will spend hours trying to figure out what the abbreviations mean. I get charged per text message (up to 130 chars), and I hate it when people send 'OMG, LOL! BOS @ CATS?'
(*nux users, check 'man strfry' and 'man atoi', other OS users will have to google it (be cautious, I once typed 'man find' into google at work and was a bit shocked at the results....))
Steve wrote:
All you need is a vacuum that watches twitter and Facebook conversations. Then matches against what the human says with the typical response on one or both of the real conversations. Maybe do some better filtering of the existing data. Shouldn't be too hard. Also sounds like something IBM would do...
Delusional people have existed throughout history, I don't know how much commercial appeal there is to codifying unproductive conversations. Before going too far, you may consider watching: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805564/
Then d, who has a flair for the dramatic, and who can twist even the most mundane musings into a PhD thesis, wrote:
Packaging and marketing is always the tricky part, but I think the appeal of codified unproductive conversations is a fundamental part of our idea of what it is to be intelligent, and in fact human. Look at the history of the idea of robotics - at every stage of concept and development, the first thing their creators want to do is carry on an idiot conversation with their creations.
1. God creates man, attempts to have a conversation with his creation. Fails, and is forced to behavioral methods to get his messages across.
2. Türing posits a 'sufficient' test for humanity dependent only on discernable idiocy of conversation, commits suicide.
3. The first thing (after mortgage calculations) that programmers do with BASIC is create ELIZA, a therapist emulator that works exactly like the Twitter/Facebook vacuum cleaner you imagine. It generates better results in patients, on average, than actual flesh and blood therapists.
4. Phillip K. Dick thinks (and writes repeatedly) that it is impossible to differentiate human from robot lovers in anything but a negative sense, commits suicide.
4b. Women argue that it is very possible to differentiate human from robot lovers, and choose vibrators and television.
5. Ridley Scott makes a paranoid movie proving that robots are better actors than humans, many tech-oriented corporations suffer huge losses or go out of business (see "Blade Runner curse").
6. Cell phone companies boost their business exponentially by offering "unlimited evening and weekend minutes". Largest user groups are those with the least to say - teenagers, friends who see each other every day, and people standing in lineups.
7. Schizophrenics popularly fabricate someone to talk to, whether than person wants to listen to what they have to say or not. So do children with 'imaginary' friends. It's also why people have pets, in many cases, and why pets are recommended for seniors' mental health.
'nuff said. We're ready to talk to anything, robotic or not. And pay for it.
Bring the app...
The interesting, or sad thing, is that none of these responses had to do with my original app idea.
Intelligent conversation? Maybe. Interesting? I'll give it that.
Bob wrote:
What you've developed could easily be implemented with a Bayesian tree. Some guy wrote a chess-playing email spam filter using this - the spam filter would reap through already played games looking for similar moves, pick the next move from a game that won, and reply with that move (in the form of a 'rejected email' notification) http://dbacl.sourceforge.net/spam_chess-1.html
I'm a fan of simply scrambling the orig message into anagrams (joe into EOJ) then truncating everything to 3 or 4 letters then injecting random punctuation. The sender will spend hours trying to figure out what the abbreviations mean. I get charged per text message (up to 130 chars), and I hate it when people send 'OMG, LOL! BOS @ CATS?'
(*nux users, check 'man strfry' and 'man atoi', other OS users will have to google it (be cautious, I once typed 'man find' into google at work and was a bit shocked at the results....))
Steve wrote:
All you need is a vacuum that watches twitter and Facebook conversations. Then matches against what the human says with the typical response on one or both of the real conversations. Maybe do some better filtering of the existing data. Shouldn't be too hard. Also sounds like something IBM would do...
Delusional people have existed throughout history, I don't know how much commercial appeal there is to codifying unproductive conversations. Before going too far, you may consider watching: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0805564/
Then d, who has a flair for the dramatic, and who can twist even the most mundane musings into a PhD thesis, wrote:
Packaging and marketing is always the tricky part, but I think the appeal of codified unproductive conversations is a fundamental part of our idea of what it is to be intelligent, and in fact human. Look at the history of the idea of robotics - at every stage of concept and development, the first thing their creators want to do is carry on an idiot conversation with their creations.
1. God creates man, attempts to have a conversation with his creation. Fails, and is forced to behavioral methods to get his messages across.
2. Türing posits a 'sufficient' test for humanity dependent only on discernable idiocy of conversation, commits suicide.
3. The first thing (after mortgage calculations) that programmers do with BASIC is create ELIZA, a therapist emulator that works exactly like the Twitter/Facebook vacuum cleaner you imagine. It generates better results in patients, on average, than actual flesh and blood therapists.
4. Phillip K. Dick thinks (and writes repeatedly) that it is impossible to differentiate human from robot lovers in anything but a negative sense, commits suicide.
4b. Women argue that it is very possible to differentiate human from robot lovers, and choose vibrators and television.
5. Ridley Scott makes a paranoid movie proving that robots are better actors than humans, many tech-oriented corporations suffer huge losses or go out of business (see "Blade Runner curse").
6. Cell phone companies boost their business exponentially by offering "unlimited evening and weekend minutes". Largest user groups are those with the least to say - teenagers, friends who see each other every day, and people standing in lineups.
7. Schizophrenics popularly fabricate someone to talk to, whether than person wants to listen to what they have to say or not. So do children with 'imaginary' friends. It's also why people have pets, in many cases, and why pets are recommended for seniors' mental health.
'nuff said. We're ready to talk to anything, robotic or not. And pay for it.
Bring the app...
The interesting, or sad thing, is that none of these responses had to do with my original app idea.
Intelligent conversation? Maybe. Interesting? I'll give it that.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
500? too much?
When I first started using netflix the limit on the number of movies you could save was 300. I filled up my queue in less than a week. So I wrote to customer service asking if they could extend my queue to 500. Surprisingly, they did it.
I think netflix is the BEST thing ever. They are really service oriented too. They were kind enough to let me deactivate my account for 14 months (normally you can only deactivate for 6) when I was in the middle east. They always get my broken movies replaced in a few days. And occasionally (once every few months) they'll send more than my allotted movies.
So, I wonder if it would be pushing them to get them to make the queues support 600 saved movies. I can't add any more movies to my queue, but I need to. I even eliminated a few movies so I could get ones in my queue that I didn't want to forget about.
500 doesn't seem like too many movies.
I think netflix is the BEST thing ever. They are really service oriented too. They were kind enough to let me deactivate my account for 14 months (normally you can only deactivate for 6) when I was in the middle east. They always get my broken movies replaced in a few days. And occasionally (once every few months) they'll send more than my allotted movies.
So, I wonder if it would be pushing them to get them to make the queues support 600 saved movies. I can't add any more movies to my queue, but I need to. I even eliminated a few movies so I could get ones in my queue that I didn't want to forget about.
500 doesn't seem like too many movies.
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