it may not be the best present, but it's probably the biggest

My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I asked him what he wanted and he said for me to visit him when he's home. But he's not quite sure when that will be...

...so I asked my mom for an idea. She couldn't think of anything at first, and then she woke up last Friday at 330 in the morning and remembered my dad and my brother talking about a table he wanted to order for the garage where he could put manuals and what ever shit he was using for one of his many projects. She sent me the link to a store where he often buys things called Gempler's.

Went out on the web site, found the table I think my dad was referring to, and ordered it (I also had them add wheels so my dad can push it around).

nice, normal table

Just looking at it in the pic, it doesn't seem unreasonably big...

Then I decided to email a picture of the table to a male friend of mine who will be tres jealous. That's when I noticed that there was an additional picture of the table on the Gempler's web site. So I clicked on it:

Holy fuck. Is that guy a midget? The table is HUGE. SHIT.

I called my dad and said I got him a surprise for his birthday and he said "I hope you didn't get something over the top." Um, is a huge table over the top?

Gempler's called today and said the table is so heavy they need a special truck to deliver it and would they be able to fit the truck down my parents' drive way and did I need pneumatic lift services.

Fuck fuck fuck. The table has WHEELS. Can't they just push it down the driveway? I am now imagining that I bought my dad a huge table that weighs more than the state of West Virginia and that only godzilla can move.

Sigh.