step into liquid bugs plus doctor drinks

I didn't get to write about this on tuesday, and perhaps you won't find it funny but...

On monday night I insisted that everyone at surf camp watch step into liquid because 1) only two people knew who Laird Hamilton is and 2) am I the only one who studied the materials sent to us before camp and watched all the videos?????? Apparently, yes.

The downstairs area where the tv is is an open space with sliding glass doors. Basically, every wall can be slid open so it's almost like you're in a house with no walls. That was ideal on monday night because it was fucking hot outside, and inside, since this place has no air conditioning (for the record I'm not complaining).

There are a lot of cicadas and other flying bugs here since we are in the middle of a jungle/mountain. Seriously, it is louder here than in my house in the city. I'll have to make a recording of the noise. We all settled in to watch the movie, 10 of us, and we had the ceiling fans going full blast to cool the place off, as well as having every sliding glass wall that could open, opened.

The flying bugs really liked the tv light, and after banging into the tv would head toward the ceiling, get sucked into the ceiling fans, and then, as they hit the blades of the fan, they would get shot in all directions. I got hit in the back of the head twice by bugs. As the bugs increased so did the bug bullets flying from the blades of the ceiling fan. All of the women left within a half hour. Then it was just D, myself, and D's dad. They finally got tired of getting pelted with bugs so they bid me good night, but not before D offered to cut up the ornamental aloe plant in front of the door to the tv area so I would have some fresh aloe to put on my face and spider bite.  I was like "I don't think that aloe plant is meant to be cut up" and he was like "but it's fucking aloe and it will grow back".

I'd mention that D wanted to finish watching step into liquid with me but his dad wouldn't leave the two of us alone even though I'm 13 years older than D. I guess he thought I was some kind of enchantress who would convince his son to leave his wife and 4 year old daughter. Because many guys I know leave a younger woman for an older woman with a huge rash on her face and a swollen foot (from the spider bite).

Anyway, today we had a day off and I had more time to talk to D's dad. It turns out he's a retired plastic surgeon. I told him about my 3-D printed jaw bone and suddenly we were the best of friends. We had conversations on and off all day about health care. Then at dinner I was trying to give the two single women (Ez and her 23 year old friend) advice about dating ("tell the guy you will not date him until he takes an IQ test, he must score at least a 128, and provides his medical records, particularly to prove he does not have an STD, and he has to do at least 10 pull ups"). D's dad, hereafter referred to as 'doc', said "well what if he wants to do chin ups instead of pull ups?" and I said "FAILS!" and doc turned to his son and said "I think she's cracked the code! We men are done!"

After dinner most everyone said around the table to talk (a rarity here - most people go to bed by 730 - serously!!!!). I sat next to doc and he even put his arm on the back of my chair which made me feel good, like he finally realized I'm not some crazy pot smoking asshole wanna be surfer. Doc and I polished off a bottle of wine, also a rarity here as no one really drinks (if you saw where we surfed you'd understand why - you lay in bed at night terrified what the next day will bring and no one wants to do anything that could cause them to not have their wits about them). We talked about the particle zoo, dark matter, the origins of malamuts, and how shitty child care is in the US.

Doc started musing about friends of his that he could set me up with. I mentioned that my last boyfriend sat with me through an hour long smithsonian documentary about dissecting a great white shark and then had a conversation about it and that that's what I would expect of a significant other (besides the pull ups requirement). He said he would think about people he knew and that he would get back to me. 

And his son suggested I start a blog because I'm the most interesting person he knows. Mm hmm...

forgot to mention, they did get my almost running over a family moment on film

Will have to wait until I'm state side to post the video though, the internet connection isn't that great here.

welcome to the jungle, pura vida

Today I had to take an unplanned surf break.

On Monday I thought I had gotten a bad sunburn, but weirdly it was just on my chin, the front of my legs, and around the edges of my back legs. Tuesday it got worse even though I was wearing a zinc suntan lotion that made me look like a member of KISS.

Today I woke up and my bottom lip looked like a botched celebrity lip job. And I had a rash all over my chin and the aforementioned areas of my legs. I cautiously went down to breakfast only to discover that my new friend Ezra had the same thing going on.

We finally figured out that we are both (yes, BOTH, not just me) allergic to the surf wax we've been using on the boards. It's pure blah blah bullshit what ever good for the environment "natural" wax. My reaction was a little worse than Ezra's but I'm a lot older than her...

So we stayed at the resort and got slathered in aloe every hour (is it helping? Ezra a little, me, not really) and the owner of this joint offered to bring us drinks all afternoon. Instead we did a jungle hike.

Ezra is sort of like me about 15 years ago and has a similar record of weirdly broken bones and food allergies. Also, she's clumsy. On Tuesday she was stung by a jelly fish (the only person in 4 years to be stung by a jelly fish on the beach where we surf) and she jumped off her board which somehow caused the board to shoot out and almost strike the 60 something year old guy in our group, G, in the face (missed him by centimeters).  Since we weren't allowed to go surfing today G said, at dinner, "I was so much better at surfing not having to worry about Ezra killing me with her surf board" (he was joking, he loves Ezra).

During our jungle hike, Ezra was distracted by her new gopro and I was worried about snakes. The hike was through a very steep canyon and we were either heading way down or way up. At one point we ran across a section of the trail which was a giant rock face. I crossed it in my running shoes and almost ate shit and slid 200 feet down a snake infested (I'm sure) cliff. Then I recrossed it and helped Ezra across it. Later we were talking to one of the guides and he said "the trail went above the rock and was very easy to cross" and Ezra said "that's what I get for having a rock climber finding the trail" and I said "well you were supposed to go first to protect me from the snakes".

Anyway, Ezra now wants to move to Colorado and she wants to go rock climbing. And she has taken ballet for years and is teaching me to stand on pointe and she also taught me some basic ballet exercises so I can finally get off my ass and sign up for ballet classes.

Perhaps I shouldn't mention this, because really, I'm fine, but I was also bitten by a spider on Tuesday.

so much for that gelish "impossible to chip" pedicure (white part is where the spider bit me. right under my big toe)

Everyone kind of freaked out about the spider, but they don't bother me, even when they bite me. We were eating lunch and Ezra looked down at my foot and said "you dropped some of your sandwich on your foot, OH MY GOD THAT'S A SPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!" and then the spider bit me and then I picked it off my foot and threw it in the sand and was like "fuck" and no one wanted to walk in the sand anymore unless they had their shoes on.

I was talking to Roberto after video analysis today (he gave me exercises to do in the pool since I couldn't surf today) and he said how amazed he is at our group here at the camp this week. He said normally people don't talk to each other or hang out. We are a conglomerate of nationalities sharing languages (serbian, spanish, polish, swedish, and english) and stories and drinks.  Half the time I don't know what people are saying but we still manage to make each other laugh.

More tomorrow about watching step into liquid Tuesday night. Power seems to be going out again...

surf camp, day 1

Not to brag, but I totally kicked ass today. They had us do some exercises in the pool to see where we were with our skills and I already knew what they were teaching so I got my own personal instructor. The guy put me through the paces but I learned how to paddle correctly, improved my pop up, and my longest ride was around 10 seconds (that's good for surfing). I even learned to turn (though I have more work to do on that tomorrow). I am riding a much smaller board than I did in Mexico (by 3 feet - it's considered an experienced surfer's board) and I'm pretty happy I was able to get up on it the second try. I surfed for 2 hours and caught more waves than I did the entire time I was surfing in Mexico. It was like ride to the shore, sprint back out, and catch another wave.

The conditions here are a little crazy at the moment according to the instructors. Today the waves were very fast and it was hard to stay outside them so instead I would just paddle out as far as I could, turn my board around, and catch a wave even if it had already broken. Surfing white water is fun but I hope to be catching bigger waves by the end of the week.

I found it funny that the two guys on the trip were like "someone obviously has some experience surfing" like I was trying to show them up or something. Also, I almost ran over a family. They were standing right in the surf zone and I hadn't learned to turn the board yet. I was yelling at them "cuidado!" which means "danger" but they just stood there and smiled and waved at me. Finally I jumped off my board and it shot out and almost hit a woman in the face. They clapped for me and I have no idea what they said after but it sounded complimentary. So when I got back out I told my instructor, Roberto, "I need to learn how to turn" and he said "and you also need to stop looking at things you don't want to run into". Everyone on the beach was laughing at my almost disaster accident. I hope they got it on film (or, no, I hope they didn't).

So our group ended up being two women in their 20s, both single, A family (husband, wife, and young son), a married guy in his 60s and his friend, who is married, and I would guess in his 30s. Everyone is really nice. I was kind of shocked last night at dinner though when I was asked to sit at the head of the table because I was the oldest person at the table (how did that happen??????????). I would mention the guy in his 60s hadn't shown up yet. So he'll probably be at the other end of the table tonight.

This place is beautiful and I'm having fun and learning a lot, but not sure I would come to this camp again. But I do think by the time I leave here I will feel very confident renting a board to surf on vacation.

I tried to upload some photos of this place but the internet is crap (even the power goes out sporadically). Well, I can always upload them when I get home.

Off to pilates, then post surfing analysis meeting, then dinner.