Tuesday, December 14, 2010

don't you know who I am???????

It's funny, the world of famous climbers. Or, should I say, "famous" climbers, because most people in the real world have hardly heard about climbing, much less the people that do it.

I have a few famous climber friends. They're all different. Joe is very humble. Others, who shall remain namely, are a little arrogant. Then there is one climber who would probably be famous no matter what he did because he's so enthusiastic about everything. He was even hired by discovery channel to take a boring show about rocks and make it more exciting by acting like himself (great quote he used in a slide show - a producer asked him to go diving with sharks while holding a crate of fish heads - he was not psyched to do that and words were exchanged - so he finally told the producer "why don't I strap a dead chicken to your head and send you into grizzly country?").

Anyway, I somehow found myself in a mix of famous climbers at the Bozeman icefest wrap party on Sunday (it's a great icefest - not as crazy as the other ones I've been to - and, honestly, it was nice to go to an icefest and not have Timmy O'Neil there acting crazy). And one of the guys was talking to one of the other guys and he said "So, I showed up at the spot for my clinic and the ropes weren't set up. Finally a guy showed up and I was like dude, where are my ropes? And he said "who are you?" I was like dude, don't you know who I am?????"

I interjected that I didn't know who he was either. Then his friend started spewing all this shit about "he's so and so and he's climbed this and he's done blah blah blah" and just to be even more of an asshole I was like "Oh, was that hard?" (I knew it was a hard climb). The guy recommended I start reading climbing magazines if I wanted to be a climber and I said I couldn't because I can only read English. He didn't get it.

Which got me thinking about climbers I've dated and how when we would go to climber events I was totally left out of the conversation. Most of these guys can only talk about themselves or climbing. If you bring up something related to the real world they don't have much to say. And, it's one of the things that makes dating a climber hard. You're never going to be part of their community. Which kind of reminds me of my situation because I had a weird job and unless you worked at that job you would never understand the environment. Though, I was of that environment, but not really part of it.

Which makes me think about that. I've never been a "group" kind of person. I've always done my own thing. I seem to circulate around a bunch of different groups in which I'm known, but I'm not part of those groups. Even when I ran track I was kind of an unofficial captain of the team even though someone else was captain, but I wasn't really part of the group the way other people were part of it. All the runners would go to concerts and out to dinner, but I was never invited. It used to hurt my feelings but then at my 20 year high school reunion I asked some of the runners why they always excluded me and they seemed shocked that I saw it as an exclusion. Everyone said "we didn't invite you because we didn't think you would be interested".

There's probably something interesting that I should come up with about what I've written. But, unfortunately, I'm too fucking tired to figure it out. Drove 10 hours from Bozeman to Denver yesterday, did laundry, and then got up at 3 this morning to catch a flight to Galveston (a weird, but interesting town, city, what ever this place is). I haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep in about 2 weeks.

Enlightenment will have to wait for another evening...

Shim's gems

I had the pleasure on Saturday to climb with Jim Shimberg. I had met him once, really briefly, when I was dating Mayo, out in the 'daks.

He's a great guy with the most positive attitude of anyone I've met in a while. Which is not to say he isn't sarcastic. Here are some of my favorite things he said:

On coaching newbie climbers on having the correct stance for ice climbing: "Push to screw, squat to poo" - meaning, stand up with your hips towards the ice when you're putting in an ice screw or whacking your tool into the ice, and then walk your legs up on your ax before moving up. He yelled that at people continually through the day.

When giving me advice on whether or not to move up on a crap tool placement - I had just told him how Joe always yells at me for moving up on bad tools because you get into the habit and that can kill you when you're leading: "Ah, that tool looks alright, go ahead and move up on it" (I was climbing with one ax at the time to practice foot placement, and I had the tool only 3 teeth in and it was wobbling back and forth)

After I stood up and got my face in line with the badly placed tool: "Of course, you don't want to stand up on it because it'll pop out and hit you in the face (which it almost did). Make sure you tell Joe Shim is keeping you safe."

On mixed climbing: "Maybe I'm just an old dinosaur, but I don't know why you'd ruin your tools rock climbing with them. When it's cold, I climb ice. When it's warm, I rock climb." Of course, a few hours later he sent a hard mixed climb.

On having good belaying skills: "One of the problems with dropping your partner is they are going to hit the ground and die."

On saying "I love you" (if Shim loves you he tells you all the time): "Sometimes I wonder if guys stop talking to me because I tell them that I love them."

On having a picture of his wife and daughter taped to the back of his helmet: "It reminds my helmet who's really in charge of making decisions."

On being a substitute teacher for a class of first graders: "The first day I followed the lesson plan, and that was a disaster. The second day I said "let's go run around outside". So we were running around outside and the principal was looking out the window at me like "what's that guy doing????" That day went a lot better for the first graders." (he didn't mention if he was hired as a substitute again)

On yelling when we knocked down ice: "Don't waste energy yelling "Ice!" We're ice climbing, we know it's coming down."

On how often we did a lap at the clinic (it was mid day and a few of us were really tired): "Look, this is about what ever you want it to be about. You can climb, you can belay, you can take a break to eat something, it's very relaxed. But, right now, you have to climb. So who's getting on this rope?"

I learned, and re-learned, a lot climbing with Shim. Thanks Shim! If you ever get the opportunity to climb with him do it! He has a guide service too (www.rhinoguides.com). And if you're interested in seeing what he looks like (he's a handsome dude) there's a pic of him climbing on his web site with his shirt off.