my friend with the broken butt

The second week I was in Houston I was parking in a garage because my hotel was too far away to walk to the office. The garage gate guy was very impressed for some reason with my corporate credit card. Or maybe he just liked me. He would always try to chat me up as I was leaving, even if there were 5 cars behind me waiting to get out of the garage.

The last day I parked there (I found a hotel less than two miles from the office) I said goodbye to him and he came around the side of the car to shake my hand and I think he wanted to give me a hug. I was parked close to his booth, though, and couldn’t open the door. As he was squeezing by my car mirror to shake my hand it folded in and then snapped back right into his ass as he turned to get back in his booth. He started making these hilarious jokes about suing my company.

I walk by him in the evenings every day on my way home from work and I smile and say hi to him. I could tell he recognized me but wasn’t sure who I was (I never saw him in the garage while I was wearing sunglasses and when I walk by him I always have my shades on).

Today, however, I was walking past with 3 colleagues behind me because they park in that garage (even with my zombie knee I walk faster than most people run, with the exception of esolo of course). I smiled and said hi to him and suddenly a look of complete recognition crossed his face. He pointed at me and shouted “You broke my butt! I’m going to sue [my company]!” My colleagues stopped walking and stared as this guy started laughing and pointing to his ass all the while yelling “You broke my butt!”

Then a car pulled up to the gate and thankfully he went back inside his booth.

I wonder if I will have some explaining to do tomorrow at work.

who wants the t-shirt?????

I was looking for a local grocery store in Houston, and happened upon this:

Who wants a t-shirt, if they have them?

Abbi, again?

Weird week this has been...besides having an exceedingly charming and considerate customer, I got to SFO on time for my flight tonight.

Okay, that's not the weird part. I decided to smoke a cigarette since I got to the airport on time. A girl with a big box asked to borrow my lighter. I noticed the box had a bike. I asked what she was doing and she said she's riding her bike cross country. It turns out I'm reading a book called strange piece of paradise about a woman who did that with her friend and they ended up getting run over by a truck and then axed by a maniac guy. I mentioned a few words of caution because she's going it alone, and then asked if she had a headlamp. Sheepishly, she said no. I offered to give her the one I carry but she promised she would go to REI tomorrow and buy one.

She had told me her name, but I guess I do better when I see people's names written down. She handed me a card with her email as she left, and I told her I'd send her my phone number in case I'm home (I know, hah) and she runs into any problems when she gets to Colorado. I looked at the card and her name is Abbi.

About 4 years ago my dad, Clint, and I were driving from Montrose to Ouray when we happened on a girl with her pannier strap stuck in her chain. It was pitch dark and she didn't have a headlamp or tools to fix her bike. She was new to biking and had decided to ride her bike to college (from Montana to New Mexico). We loaded it in the back of Clint's truck and drove her to Ouray. Clint fixed her bike and lent her a headlamp (I thought he should have given it to her but he didn't). I grabbed all the food we had in the apartment that didn't require heating and filled her water bottles (she had no food or water) and we drove her to a camp site.

The next day we went up to the site to retrieve Clint's headlamp and found a note scrawled in red lipstick (????she brought lipstick, paper, but no pen or headlamp) thanking us and giving us her email address. I sent her a few emails to make sure she was safe but never heard back from her. I might have gotten the email wrong because lipstick is hard to read.

The thing is, her name was Abbi too.

I just sent the new Abbi an email to see if she might, coincidentally, be the old Abbi.

Mom, make sure you mention this to dad if you talk to him tomorrow. As soon as I find out I'll let you know!