contorted filbert

Today I had to go to home depot to buy another cactus because I'm obsessed with cacti and one of mine got a fungi and died.

I was wandering through the tree section because I was thinking to get another tree for my yard to block the sight of my asshole neighbor's yard when I spied this amazing thing:

It's called a contorted filbert. It's a shrub but you can prune it and disguise it as a tree. It grows to be 8 - 10 feet tall and is as wide as it is tall if you don't prune it.

I was in love. But it cost $70. I took a picture and sent it to my dad and asked if I should buy it. He said to research it online first.

So I did, thought it would be the coolest thing EVER to have in my yard, and I returned to Home Depot. Three people were mingling around Filbert touching his leaves so I had to almost run them over with my trolley to get them to back away.

The only problem was, I couldn't lift Filbert. He weighs 150 lbs. Also, I wasn't sure he would fit in my car. I asked if there was a way Filbert could be delivered to my house and the woman working in the tree section said "Honey, rent a truck."

Bitch.

So I went to a nursery up the street to see if they might have a contorted filbert, but smaller, so I could pick him up. They were like "um, no". Then I asked if perhaps they could order me a smaller contorted filbert. They were like "um, no".

So I bought a cheyenne mock orange shrub instead because this hot guy named Bret said it was his favorite bush (Bret works at the nursery and gallantly carried the shrub out to my car and refused a tip - I will be going back to see him). It smells like oranges and has white flowers.

employee of the week

That should be me! Today I deleted all the emails I received without reading them. It was fun.

And to contrast my new company with my old, I've already gotten invites from the VPs I'll be working with and everyone I interviewed with on linkedin and all the invites were welcoming me as a colleague to my new company. I sent my manager at my current company (who is the one who mandated I open a linkedin account) an invite a year ago. He still hasn't responded.

I really, really hope this is the beginning of the best job ever.

the important thing is...

Tuesday was my birthday, and ranks second as the worst birthday ever (worst birthday ever was when I was in the middle east). I was working on a client engagement which was a disaster because the idiots at my company sent the wrong laptops out to the client. The day went downhill from there.

But I will no longer be complaining about my company any more because I nailed the interview I had on Wednesday and will be quitting as soon as I have the offer letter in hand. The company that offered me the job is going to expedite things. I hope to be working there by the last week in June.

I AM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And my friend Kevin got some interest in his wifesitter trailer from a producer in LA. Go us!!!!

And lastly, but not least, I talked to my friend Brassy today and he's giving a TED talk in October and I'm invited!!!! Even better, I'm going to visit him in June when I hopefully get some time off before starting my new job. I'm going to hang out with him and his girlfriend Taola who's MOT.

the amazingly stressful race

I just arrived in Temecula, CA. Never heard of it? Join the club. Me either. It's in the middle of nowhere.

So tomorrow I have to teach my class, then get all the laptops packed up, then drive 50 miles to John Wayne airport (if you've never driven in Cali you have no idea how stressful that is - at a drop of a hat a trip can go from taking 30 minutes to taking 3 hours) in time to catch my 6:55 flight to Oakland and somehow I'm supposed to look not tired during my job interview. Ech. I'll be glad when I'm back home in Denver on Wednesday night. For me this is the worst kind of travel. If I miss my flight tomorrow I'm up shit creek without a paddle, at least as far as getting a new job goes...

On a positive note, I bought blueberries to have for dinner and they're really good!