(I wrote this right before Christmas but forgot to publish it...so here is another shopping goes bad story, though this time I was not hit in the head with a box of Swiffer wipes nor did I have a wreck with my shopping cart)
Tonight I was in VS buying some not worth mentioning unmentionables. The layout of the store reminded me why I never shop retail when I can go virtual. At the check out I had a choice of standing behind this moronic midlife crisis guy or standing next to the counter where I could prop up my book so I could read while waiting for idiot boy in front of me to figure out what credit card he was going to use. Also, I don't know how, but he managed to find many pieces lingerie that were missing their price tags.
I'm talented but not talented enough to hold a handful of underthings and a heavy book (Guests of the Ayatollah, in hardback), so I couldn't move from behind idiot boy even though he was talking so loud I was having problems reading. I was getting annoyed and just wanted to be out of there. A guy walked up, missed the queue, and was standing off to one side. I figured he was just stalking the girl behind the counter and ignored him.
When mid-life ambled off with his bag I walked up to the register and put my stuff on the counter. Stalker came up behind me like a great white to a seal and yelled at me about "waiting my turn in line" as if he hadn't noticed I was in line a good 10 minutes before he was. And no, that isn't a mis-print. 10 minutes in line (missing price tags, credit card confusion, it all adds up tick tock tick tock). He was being such an ass I felt sorry for him and said "You're right, ladies first." He tried to get me thrown out of the store and then had another temper tantrum when the woman behind the counter tried to politely explain to him that I had been in line in front of him.
I should note he would have had to be legally blind to miss me standing at the counter reading a book. There are not many people that I've ever encountered in VS that appear to even know what a book is.
Then, to make things worse, because sometimes I like to, and he was pissing me off with the way he was talking to the staff, I said "Just ring him up. He's probably dying to go home and try on his new stuff." The guy threw his lingerie on the counter and stalked out of the store.
I don't know why drama follows me in box stores. I just know I should avoid them. The two morals of the story are I hate shopping and some customers aren't worth having.
Friday, April 11, 2008
marrow
I just signed up with this website called marrow.org and am now in the process of registering to be a bone marrow donor. The web site has a quiz that you take to see if you might qualify as a donor. If you do then they send you a swab kit and take cells from your inner cheek used for tissue typing. If you match a patient in need you could be called to donate bone marrow. The whole process costs $52.
Also, if you haven't already, make sure you have signed up to be an organ donor and that you have a living will. Disabuse yourself of the notion that you need to be buried with all your organs. And you don't want someone who loves you (or, maybe someone who doesn't love you) having to make decisions about when to pull the plug on your life support and whether or not someone else can have your kidneys.
The end. Now, back to our regularly scheduled idiocy.
Also, if you haven't already, make sure you have signed up to be an organ donor and that you have a living will. Disabuse yourself of the notion that you need to be buried with all your organs. And you don't want someone who loves you (or, maybe someone who doesn't love you) having to make decisions about when to pull the plug on your life support and whether or not someone else can have your kidneys.
The end. Now, back to our regularly scheduled idiocy.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Something Red
I don't know why I'm constantly amazed at how retarded most people are, but I am.
Take, for instance, the situation that happened to me yesterday. I was skiing up at Copper (I know my doctor said not to but for the record I think holding a ski pole has been therapeutic as the swelling in my finger has gone down substantially in the past two days). I thought I just had a runny nose and so I kept wiping it with my glove, which happens to be black. I couldn't figure out why, even with the lifts being crowded, I was always on a chair lift by myself. Also, people, I thought, were looking at me funny.
Finally I got on a lift with a Copper employee rescue guy, whatever you call them, who tried to pick me up. When his stupid schtick about the music I was listening to wasn't working he said "Um, you have something on your face." Something what? I asked. "Something red" he replied.
The "something red" was blood from my nose, which had been bleeding apparently for the past two hours. I looked down at the front of my jacket (light blue, because Moonstone doesn't make the right color pink ski jacket) and realized I looked like a serial murderer. The rescue guy cleaned the blood off my face with some snow that he pulled off his ski and then told me that I should wait for him in the SAR hut at the top of the Excelerator lift. He was on the lift to go to a rescue (girl hit a tree, fractured skull, airlifted to Denver), but assured me that he would be back in an hour or so and I should wait for him to return to treat my bloody nose.
I was like, are you kidding? My nose bleeds all the time when I return to altitude. The rescue guy got upset and started going off about how I could faint or worse. Which makes me wonder, what would be worse than fainting while skiing? Fainting while skiing with a broken hand, fainting while skiing with a broken hand in moguls...
I skied off and never saw that guy again. I did get fed a lot of shit at the Super Bee lift by a kid named Kevin from Kansas City, MO, who couldn't get his bar code reader to work. I told him he was incompetent and he said "at least I'm not the bloody nose girl". I saw him again today and we continued our repartee.
Today, as a stark contrast, I got on a lift with a guy who's been grooming runs at Copper for 25 years. I believe he said his name was Larry. He asked me if I could fix his computer in exchange for showing me a fox burrough on a run called Triple Threat. I declined his offer because he was really drunk and Triple Threat is all moguls. I did ask Larry to close the latches on my left boot as I still can't do it on my own. He did and then followed me down Rosi's Run yelling "Franki (he read my name off my pass), fix my computer, please!" Every time I saw Larry today, which ended up being a lot for some reason, he would yell "Franki, fix my computer." I'm sure he recognized me through the blowing snow because I still have blood on my jacket, making me hard to miss.
My last run of the day Larry ran into me (literally) at the Super Bee. He put his arm around me and staggered with me to the lift (Busch was handing out free beers in the parking lot and at the bottom of every lift - I could not figure that out - every snow boarder I got on a lift with was really trashed and standing in line I felt like I was at a bar - um, safety first, glad I wore my helmet today). As we took off into the blowing snow he looked at me and said, "Dude, I think your nose is bleeding."
Thanks, Larry.
Take, for instance, the situation that happened to me yesterday. I was skiing up at Copper (I know my doctor said not to but for the record I think holding a ski pole has been therapeutic as the swelling in my finger has gone down substantially in the past two days). I thought I just had a runny nose and so I kept wiping it with my glove, which happens to be black. I couldn't figure out why, even with the lifts being crowded, I was always on a chair lift by myself. Also, people, I thought, were looking at me funny.
Finally I got on a lift with a Copper employee rescue guy, whatever you call them, who tried to pick me up. When his stupid schtick about the music I was listening to wasn't working he said "Um, you have something on your face." Something what? I asked. "Something red" he replied.
The "something red" was blood from my nose, which had been bleeding apparently for the past two hours. I looked down at the front of my jacket (light blue, because Moonstone doesn't make the right color pink ski jacket) and realized I looked like a serial murderer. The rescue guy cleaned the blood off my face with some snow that he pulled off his ski and then told me that I should wait for him in the SAR hut at the top of the Excelerator lift. He was on the lift to go to a rescue (girl hit a tree, fractured skull, airlifted to Denver), but assured me that he would be back in an hour or so and I should wait for him to return to treat my bloody nose.
I was like, are you kidding? My nose bleeds all the time when I return to altitude. The rescue guy got upset and started going off about how I could faint or worse. Which makes me wonder, what would be worse than fainting while skiing? Fainting while skiing with a broken hand, fainting while skiing with a broken hand in moguls...
I skied off and never saw that guy again. I did get fed a lot of shit at the Super Bee lift by a kid named Kevin from Kansas City, MO, who couldn't get his bar code reader to work. I told him he was incompetent and he said "at least I'm not the bloody nose girl". I saw him again today and we continued our repartee.
Today, as a stark contrast, I got on a lift with a guy who's been grooming runs at Copper for 25 years. I believe he said his name was Larry. He asked me if I could fix his computer in exchange for showing me a fox burrough on a run called Triple Threat. I declined his offer because he was really drunk and Triple Threat is all moguls. I did ask Larry to close the latches on my left boot as I still can't do it on my own. He did and then followed me down Rosi's Run yelling "Franki (he read my name off my pass), fix my computer, please!" Every time I saw Larry today, which ended up being a lot for some reason, he would yell "Franki, fix my computer." I'm sure he recognized me through the blowing snow because I still have blood on my jacket, making me hard to miss.
My last run of the day Larry ran into me (literally) at the Super Bee. He put his arm around me and staggered with me to the lift (Busch was handing out free beers in the parking lot and at the bottom of every lift - I could not figure that out - every snow boarder I got on a lift with was really trashed and standing in line I felt like I was at a bar - um, safety first, glad I wore my helmet today). As we took off into the blowing snow he looked at me and said, "Dude, I think your nose is bleeding."
Thanks, Larry.
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