aggro undie man and other Victoria Secret tragedies

(I wrote this right before Christmas but forgot to publish it...so here is another shopping goes bad story, though this time I was not hit in the head with a box of Swiffer wipes nor did I have a wreck with my shopping cart)

Tonight I was in VS buying some not worth mentioning unmentionables. The layout of the store reminded me why I never shop retail when I can go virtual. At the check out I had a choice of standing behind this moronic midlife crisis guy or standing next to the counter where I could prop up my book so I could read while waiting for idiot boy in front of me to figure out what credit card he was going to use. Also, I don't know how, but he managed to find many pieces lingerie that were missing their price tags.

I'm talented but not talented enough to hold a handful of underthings and a heavy book (Guests of the Ayatollah, in hardback), so I couldn't move from behind idiot boy even though he was talking so loud I was having problems reading. I was getting annoyed and just wanted to be out of there. A guy walked up, missed the queue, and was standing off to one side. I figured he was just stalking the girl behind the counter and ignored him.

When mid-life ambled off with his bag I walked up to the register and put my stuff on the counter. Stalker came up behind me like a great white to a seal and yelled at me about "waiting my turn in line" as if he hadn't noticed I was in line a good 10 minutes before he was. And no, that isn't a mis-print. 10 minutes in line (missing price tags, credit card confusion, it all adds up tick tock tick tock). He was being such an ass I felt sorry for him and said "You're right, ladies first." He tried to get me thrown out of the store and then had another temper tantrum when the woman behind the counter tried to politely explain to him that I had been in line in front of him.

I should note he would have had to be legally blind to miss me standing at the counter reading a book. There are not many people that I've ever encountered in VS that appear to even know what a book is.

Then, to make things worse, because sometimes I like to, and he was pissing me off with the way he was talking to the staff, I said "Just ring him up. He's probably dying to go home and try on his new stuff." The guy threw his lingerie on the counter and stalked out of the store.

I don't know why drama follows me in box stores. I just know I should avoid them. The two morals of the story are I hate shopping and some customers aren't worth having.