chicken - 2, me - 0, good thing we aren't playing in the world cup

I know some people think I'm a picky eater, but usually foods I don't like I end up being allergic to.

Chicken is something I've never liked to eat, but I decided to make some for fun and because I have all those herbs in my garden.

arugula, tomatoes, feta cheese, broccoli cole slaw, and chicken, with a lemon and olive oil dressing

 30 minutes after I finished my salad (and this is a salad I eat almost every night, without the chicken though) I started feeling like it was hard to breathe. Then I broke out in a rash all over my body. Gotta be the fucking chicken.

left arm, worst of my two arms

right arm, rash was literally spreading down my arm when I took this pic

 

left leg, my calf and shin is totally covered in the rash

right leg, slightly behind left leg in rash

Going to take some benedryll and get some sleep. Probably this will all be gone tomorrow. Right now it really sucks though.

chicken disasters

(the following is a text exchange I had with FH)

last night

me: do you have to brown chicken before putting it in the slow cooker?
fh: yes
me: how long should that take?
fh: couple of minute on med-high (weirdly I read this as "couple of minutes each side" because I was doing something else while also reading the text - may explain the problem that unfolds)
me: k, was going to do a chicken arugula thing for dinner tomorrow. should be horrible...

(a half hour later)

me: put cilantro, chives, garlic and chicken stock in with the chicken. fingers crossed but not getting my hopes up

note that the cilantro, chives, and arugula are all from my garden

fh: thought you said you were making it for tomorrow
me: I am. I thought I'd cook it for a while and then put it in the refrigerator. can reheat it tomorrow.
fh: it should cook on low for 6 hours straight. I don't know about half and half cooking.
me: oops. step one, turn down slow cooker (I had it set on high). thought if it sat overnite it might have more flavor.
fh: I feel like we discussed this*
me: ;D
fh: oh my

*important side note: I once tried to make a dinner for FH. I put steaks in the slow cooker (without browning them first) and then forgot I was cooking them. They were in there for 24 hours. Then he had to cancel dinner because he had to help a friend move. The next day I reheated the steaks for 8 hours thinking they would be super tender after all that cooking. Instead, when I put them on the dinner plates, they literally dissolved into a pile of steak dust. Even the dogs wouldn't eat the dust. I served them with twice baked potatoes that I reheated. FH called them "thrice baked potatoes". Not only were they inedible, we couldn't cut them even with a very sharp knife. So he schooled me on using a slow cooker. Guess I'm a slow learner at the slow cooker.


today

me: chicken was not very tender. and I think the garlic and chicken broth didn't work very well together. oh well
fh: typically if the chicken is not tender it hasn't cooked long enough. counter intuitive I know, but I don't mean that after 45 hours it's even more tender and flavorful! after 45 hours it's an explosion of dust. how many hours are you up to?
me: 4 yesterday and 3 so far today. all on low.
fh: put a fork in it
me: I can't yet. I'm almost at 12 miles and I don't want to stop walking. Will check it in 15.
me: minutes, not hours.
fh: turn the slow cooker OFF

So I think this highlights why I can't cook...

The chicken is very tender now, but it still tastes like shit. Maybe added too much cilantro and chives and garlic...

weird things happen in 3s to me

When I got home from Virginia Saturday night I opened my suitcase (which I checked, because it was cheaper than paying for overhead bin space) and found the usual TSA inspection notice (they like to inspect my bag every time I check it).

I also found, next to the inspection notice...

what the fuck? why would TSA put chopsticks in my bag????

Odd. I washed my bag thoroughly in case the inspector spilled some of his take out in it.

Then on Sunday a friend who recently bought a Ural side car motorcycle asked if I wanted to go for a ride in it. Uh, hell yeah. We were going to go to Mt. Evans but the weather looked questionable so instead we rode up a dirt road that goes to Central City. At one point, as we were approaching a blind hairpin turn, the motorcycle shut off. I was like "uh oh, fucking russian engineering" but it turns out the wind shield had some how vibrated into the power button and shut the bike off (though my friend has been doing a ton of off roading, that had never happened before).

He got the bike restarted and just as we were rolling again a kid came tearing around the turn full speed in his car. Had the motorcycle not died when it did he would have hit us head on. And we would have died. Or been knocked off the road, down a cliff, and then died. My friend said "I forgot that every time I go somewhere with you something weird fucking happens."

The final odd thing happened at the Fidelity office. I'm working with a professional investor now since I have enough money in my retirement account to get the service for free. As I was waiting for my investor guy a homeless guy came into the lobby and he asked if he could feel my arm because he didn't believe my skin was really skin (why does everyone think I'm a cyborg????). Also, he wanted to try on my shoes. And use my cell phone. And suggested I fold my magazine in half so he could read one page while I was reading the other.

I was finally saved by my investor guy. Turns out the homeless guy opened an account with Fidelity (he has $50 in his account) so he can sit in the air conditioning and watch TV. But, my investor guy said, he's never talked to anyone in the lobby before.

Lucky me.

Hopefully that's the end of the weird things for this week. Aw shit, it's only Monday?

4th

I spent most of last week cleaning and doing projects around my parents' and sister's house. Among other things I cleaned 2 cars, 10 bathrooms, lots of floors, and 4 bedrooms.

The most interesting project was building a french drain in my parents' front yard. I asked my dad if it was okay to dig it up since they have a strict HOA, and he said it was, but that we should wait until the 4th so no one would notice us digging a huge trench in the front yard.

one of my friends texted me "way to celebrate being an american by working like a mexican"

a leaky sprinkler head was causing most of the water accumulation problem - and made the job of digging a lot harder - my dad had put stone and sand in this area of the yard to get it to drain and the stone in sand turned into concrete so I had to use the pick ax to dig most of the trench

luckily my brother Steve also came over to help my dad and I - 20 feet is a lot of trench - this is the trench with the drain inserted and then surrounded by 15 bags of VERY HEAVY stone that my dad got at home depot

the trench at the end of the evening - had to leave the sprinkler head uncovered until it can be fixed - nope, no one's going to notice we did anything at all (sarcastic)

Here's a vid of what it was like to dig in the mud trench: