chicken disasters

(the following is a text exchange I had with FH)

last night

me: do you have to brown chicken before putting it in the slow cooker?
fh: yes
me: how long should that take?
fh: couple of minute on med-high (weirdly I read this as "couple of minutes each side" because I was doing something else while also reading the text - may explain the problem that unfolds)
me: k, was going to do a chicken arugula thing for dinner tomorrow. should be horrible...

(a half hour later)

me: put cilantro, chives, garlic and chicken stock in with the chicken. fingers crossed but not getting my hopes up

note that the cilantro, chives, and arugula are all from my garden

fh: thought you said you were making it for tomorrow
me: I am. I thought I'd cook it for a while and then put it in the refrigerator. can reheat it tomorrow.
fh: it should cook on low for 6 hours straight. I don't know about half and half cooking.
me: oops. step one, turn down slow cooker (I had it set on high). thought if it sat overnite it might have more flavor.
fh: I feel like we discussed this*
me: ;D
fh: oh my

*important side note: I once tried to make a dinner for FH. I put steaks in the slow cooker (without browning them first) and then forgot I was cooking them. They were in there for 24 hours. Then he had to cancel dinner because he had to help a friend move. The next day I reheated the steaks for 8 hours thinking they would be super tender after all that cooking. Instead, when I put them on the dinner plates, they literally dissolved into a pile of steak dust. Even the dogs wouldn't eat the dust. I served them with twice baked potatoes that I reheated. FH called them "thrice baked potatoes". Not only were they inedible, we couldn't cut them even with a very sharp knife. So he schooled me on using a slow cooker. Guess I'm a slow learner at the slow cooker.


today

me: chicken was not very tender. and I think the garlic and chicken broth didn't work very well together. oh well
fh: typically if the chicken is not tender it hasn't cooked long enough. counter intuitive I know, but I don't mean that after 45 hours it's even more tender and flavorful! after 45 hours it's an explosion of dust. how many hours are you up to?
me: 4 yesterday and 3 so far today. all on low.
fh: put a fork in it
me: I can't yet. I'm almost at 12 miles and I don't want to stop walking. Will check it in 15.
me: minutes, not hours.
fh: turn the slow cooker OFF

So I think this highlights why I can't cook...

The chicken is very tender now, but it still tastes like shit. Maybe added too much cilantro and chives and garlic...