I had a ski lesson on Thursday with a guy named Joe at Copper.
It was a good investment. Joe was pretty laid back, but that got annoying some times. He asked me what my goal was for the lesson. I explained to him that I needed to learn to ski better. But then he kept asking me what I wanted to learn. Finally I said "Look, I want to learn to suck less when I ski". That answer seemed to satisfy him.
We did a number of drills which were pretty hard for me. One involved getting up on my edges and then flattening my skis and sliding down hill. I could do that okay when my left foot was uphill but had a hard time doing it with my right foot uphill. Because I don't have much feeling at all in my right foot after my knee surgery I can't always tell when I'm on my ski edge.
Then he watched me ski down a hill and said that I'm turning with my shoulders instead of my feet. So I did a lot of work on trying to transition on my edges and turn with my feet. Joe would usually ski behind me and yell at me when I did something wrong.
Then I practiced J turns. I can do a J turn to the left but not the right. I need to learn how to sense that my edge is down even if I can't feel it. After I did my turns Joe would mark up my turn line to show me where I did something wrong, like shifting my weight back instead of staying forward (Jeffy calls that the "Franki taking a dump" position). I started getting obsessed with my lines. Joe finally told me to quit "geeking out" about my lines. He also said most instructors use the big toe to little toe method for teaching people how to shift from one edge to the other, but since I can't feel my little toe that doesn't work for me.
Joe gave me an exercise to do at home, which I tried to do when I was staying with Jeffy except that he kept laughing at me. The exercise involves turning the feet to the left and right, so that the heel and toe make an "x". You're supposed to do it on wood floors and do it on carpet once you're really good. I couldn't make an x at all with my right foot at first because my heel was lifting out of the snow. Hopefully doing the x exercise will help with my right leg issues.
We ended the lesson doing some jumps and bumps.
After the lesson I decided to blow off the guy I was supposed to go have a drink with to keep skiing. Since I had a much better idea of how to control my skis I decided to do some more bumps and jumps. It was kind of weird, like having this magical super skiing power. That was probably the best afternoon of skiing I've had, though I think I over did it because Friday my knee really really hurt.
One weird thing that happened...I was at the american flyer lift and this kid who had been scanning my pass all day (I doubt he was out of college) jumped over the little fence that separates the ski line from the lift. I was standing on the purple line waiting for the chair to come around. I was one of only 5 people still skiing on that lift. The kid hit this button that shut the lift off. I turned around to look at him and he said "I have to ask you a question. How come you always smile at me but you never say anything?" I was like "Um, I smile at everyone dude." Then his friends started laughing. I'm not sure what exactly they were up to, but the kid running the lift started yelling at the pass scanning guy because once you stop the lift you have to wait a certain period of time before you can turn it back on. So we all sat there in awkward silence waiting until the lift could be turned back on. Then I decided to stay on super bee for the rest of the day.
And, this couple that swings propositioned me on super bee (I rode on the lift with them a number of times that afternoon and I chatted with the wife as the lift was going up - the husband propositioned me the last lift trip before super bee closed). I never know how to respond to stuff like that except by saying something stupid like "Um, no thanks".
Saturday, February 7, 2009
irish car bombs
Yesterday after skiing at BC Jeffy and I went back to Finnegan's Wake to see Jonny Mogambo again. We got our same table, ordered some drinks, and settled in to watch the show.
The night got out of hand rather quickly. Jonny opened with a couple of songs and then started making fun of Jeffy, who can't sit for 5 minutes without playing with his iPhone. Jonny called it something funny, a mix between the words iPhone and masturbation but I can't remember what he said exactly.
Then there was this local delinquent guy named G man who was drunk because he was leaving Avon the next day for a four month trip. Jonny, who was also drinking, invited G man on stage to sing the song I am a man of constant sorrow. G man was so drunk he kept dropping his microphone and bumping into Jonny's guitar. But he was a very good singer, so that was kind of cool.
Then these old dudes who were having a fraternity reunion started getting noisy and yelling stuff at Jonny, who told them to shut up or put money in his tip jar. They requested some kind of stupid songs and were trying to sing along with them. Jonny finally got them to do a shot ski and one of the guys was so short he had to stand up on the stage to be the same height as his frat brothers. Jonny kept making fun of him but the guy was so drunk he didn't notice.
Then the frat guys started dancing near the stage, even though there wasn't much room (Jonny was playing "Brown Eyed Girl" - the guys could not dance AT ALL). G man had mean while sat down at our table because Jeffy and I bought him shots of whiskey to celebrate his impending trip (Jeffy had the waitress give him shots of "the best whiskey you have, and not that derelict shit"). I think Jeffy bought a shot for Jonny too, but it's hard to remember some details of the night. G man started hitting on me so I told him I was a lesbian. We had a long discussion about pussy and how women are all a bunch of scheming lying bitches. Then Jeffy joined in talking about strippers and showed G man pictures on his iPhone of his stripper friends rolling around and making out at one of his parties. Jeffy has a lot of stripper friends.
Some woman brought her two kids into the bar, I'm guessing age 7 and 9. The 7 year old was a little girl who put a dollar in Jonny's tip jar. Then Jonny made a joke about the 9 year old, who was a boy, so the 9 year old went over to the tip jar and took his sister's dollar out. Everybody in the bar was laughing. The mom made the kid put the money back in the tip jar and then they left.
Meanwhile, at some point, Jeffy started doing irish car bomb shots. I don't know what's in them but I'm pretty sure they had a lot of alcohol because Jeffy started folding up $20 bills into paper airplanes, each with a different design, and trying to throw them into Jonny's tip jar. None of them made it in. I think he threw $100 worth of little planes. It was good that Jeffy tipped him because he filmed Jonny singing the big fluffy beaver song without asking permission (which I thought was wrong to do). Jonny took it in stride and said "You're sending that out to the internet right now, aren't you man? I'll be HUGE in Japan in 5 minutes!" He asked if Jeffy was with a record company and I said "No, he works for the CIA", making Jonny laugh but really pissing off Jeffy who kept saying "that was NOT fucking funny! that was NOT fucking cool!".
Then Jonny decided I should come up on stage and sing a song. I can't sing AT ALL so I was like no FUCKING way. G man and Jeffy kept trying to drag me up to the stage while Jonny heckled me. Finally some woman got up there, asian looking, and really east coast ish, and she sang "I will survive". She had a great voice actually. Then G man got back on stage and sang "take it easy" except he kept singing the wrong words or the right words in the wrong order which was making Jonny laugh.
After a while it seemed like everyone in the bar was completely trashed and singing along with Jonny. That part was pretty cool. What was NOT cool was when G man broke my wine glass, which had just been refilled, spilling red wine all over my left leg. I looked like I had been shot mid-thigh (luckily the wine did not spill in my lap). That stain better come out. On a side note, I have gotten wine spilled on me at least once a month since June. Weird.
And, speaking of weird, one of the women with the drunk frat guys came over to our table and said "Hey, did you used to date (my ex boyfriend who owns some gyms in MD)." I was kind of surprised, and she said she recognized me because she used to climb the at the same time my ex and I did. Then she went on to say what an obnoxious, arrogant asshole he is and how she quit going to his gym. She went on a little tirade and I was like you don't have to tell me sister. Jeffy can verify that I am NOT making this up.
Jonny took a bathroom break and then Jeffy offered $200 for Jonny to keep playing because everyone was having so much fun. I would say at that point I was the drunkest I have been for a very long time. I normally don't get drunk in public places, but my buzz was pretty mellow and everyone thought I was sober and kept trying to buy me drinks.
I had also been going out for smoke breaks, mostly to get away from G man who was being annoying, and fucking with all the young snow boarder dudes that were also going outside to smoke. One of them tried to kiss me so I pushed him in the snow and his friends made fun of him so he left. The snow boarders kept sending me shots of whiskey and whistling at me. I gave the shots to G man. Luckily I was leaving with Jeffy, otherwise I might have had a problem on my hands because one guy (not the snow guy) was starting to get a little aggressive. Note to guys: just because you buy me a shot doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you. Seriously.
After the show Jonny came over to talk to us but he was getting mobbed by these drunk women who were the wives of the frat guys so Jeffy and I left. I think he talked to Jeffy for a few minutes but I was so buzzed at that point that I really had no idea what was going on. I vaguely remember getting the hiccups and babbling something about my toothbrush before I finally crashed out on the sofa.
This morning I woke up with a painful hangover and a hugely swollen knee. I decided to do more physical therapy for my knee and to never drink on an empty stomach ever again.
But, it was a lot of fun. I wonder if G man made his 9 am flight this morning...
The night got out of hand rather quickly. Jonny opened with a couple of songs and then started making fun of Jeffy, who can't sit for 5 minutes without playing with his iPhone. Jonny called it something funny, a mix between the words iPhone and masturbation but I can't remember what he said exactly.
Then there was this local delinquent guy named G man who was drunk because he was leaving Avon the next day for a four month trip. Jonny, who was also drinking, invited G man on stage to sing the song I am a man of constant sorrow. G man was so drunk he kept dropping his microphone and bumping into Jonny's guitar. But he was a very good singer, so that was kind of cool.
Then these old dudes who were having a fraternity reunion started getting noisy and yelling stuff at Jonny, who told them to shut up or put money in his tip jar. They requested some kind of stupid songs and were trying to sing along with them. Jonny finally got them to do a shot ski and one of the guys was so short he had to stand up on the stage to be the same height as his frat brothers. Jonny kept making fun of him but the guy was so drunk he didn't notice.
Then the frat guys started dancing near the stage, even though there wasn't much room (Jonny was playing "Brown Eyed Girl" - the guys could not dance AT ALL). G man had mean while sat down at our table because Jeffy and I bought him shots of whiskey to celebrate his impending trip (Jeffy had the waitress give him shots of "the best whiskey you have, and not that derelict shit"). I think Jeffy bought a shot for Jonny too, but it's hard to remember some details of the night. G man started hitting on me so I told him I was a lesbian. We had a long discussion about pussy and how women are all a bunch of scheming lying bitches. Then Jeffy joined in talking about strippers and showed G man pictures on his iPhone of his stripper friends rolling around and making out at one of his parties. Jeffy has a lot of stripper friends.
Some woman brought her two kids into the bar, I'm guessing age 7 and 9. The 7 year old was a little girl who put a dollar in Jonny's tip jar. Then Jonny made a joke about the 9 year old, who was a boy, so the 9 year old went over to the tip jar and took his sister's dollar out. Everybody in the bar was laughing. The mom made the kid put the money back in the tip jar and then they left.
Meanwhile, at some point, Jeffy started doing irish car bomb shots. I don't know what's in them but I'm pretty sure they had a lot of alcohol because Jeffy started folding up $20 bills into paper airplanes, each with a different design, and trying to throw them into Jonny's tip jar. None of them made it in. I think he threw $100 worth of little planes. It was good that Jeffy tipped him because he filmed Jonny singing the big fluffy beaver song without asking permission (which I thought was wrong to do). Jonny took it in stride and said "You're sending that out to the internet right now, aren't you man? I'll be HUGE in Japan in 5 minutes!" He asked if Jeffy was with a record company and I said "No, he works for the CIA", making Jonny laugh but really pissing off Jeffy who kept saying "that was NOT fucking funny! that was NOT fucking cool!".
Then Jonny decided I should come up on stage and sing a song. I can't sing AT ALL so I was like no FUCKING way. G man and Jeffy kept trying to drag me up to the stage while Jonny heckled me. Finally some woman got up there, asian looking, and really east coast ish, and she sang "I will survive". She had a great voice actually. Then G man got back on stage and sang "take it easy" except he kept singing the wrong words or the right words in the wrong order which was making Jonny laugh.
After a while it seemed like everyone in the bar was completely trashed and singing along with Jonny. That part was pretty cool. What was NOT cool was when G man broke my wine glass, which had just been refilled, spilling red wine all over my left leg. I looked like I had been shot mid-thigh (luckily the wine did not spill in my lap). That stain better come out. On a side note, I have gotten wine spilled on me at least once a month since June. Weird.
And, speaking of weird, one of the women with the drunk frat guys came over to our table and said "Hey, did you used to date (my ex boyfriend who owns some gyms in MD)." I was kind of surprised, and she said she recognized me because she used to climb the at the same time my ex and I did. Then she went on to say what an obnoxious, arrogant asshole he is and how she quit going to his gym. She went on a little tirade and I was like you don't have to tell me sister. Jeffy can verify that I am NOT making this up.
Jonny took a bathroom break and then Jeffy offered $200 for Jonny to keep playing because everyone was having so much fun. I would say at that point I was the drunkest I have been for a very long time. I normally don't get drunk in public places, but my buzz was pretty mellow and everyone thought I was sober and kept trying to buy me drinks.
I had also been going out for smoke breaks, mostly to get away from G man who was being annoying, and fucking with all the young snow boarder dudes that were also going outside to smoke. One of them tried to kiss me so I pushed him in the snow and his friends made fun of him so he left. The snow boarders kept sending me shots of whiskey and whistling at me. I gave the shots to G man. Luckily I was leaving with Jeffy, otherwise I might have had a problem on my hands because one guy (not the snow guy) was starting to get a little aggressive. Note to guys: just because you buy me a shot doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you. Seriously.
After the show Jonny came over to talk to us but he was getting mobbed by these drunk women who were the wives of the frat guys so Jeffy and I left. I think he talked to Jeffy for a few minutes but I was so buzzed at that point that I really had no idea what was going on. I vaguely remember getting the hiccups and babbling something about my toothbrush before I finally crashed out on the sofa.
This morning I woke up with a painful hangover and a hugely swollen knee. I decided to do more physical therapy for my knee and to never drink on an empty stomach ever again.
But, it was a lot of fun. I wonder if G man made his 9 am flight this morning...
Friday, February 6, 2009
beaver...creek
Last night Jeffy and I went to see an artist named Jonny Mogambo. He's a really amazing performer. He has this song called big fluffy beaver that was written by a woman in Texas. The song is hilarious. And the words are so offensive a big group of Texans left the bar. We listened to it this morning before we went skiing and I would start laughing as I was skiing because I was thinking about the song.
Jeffy chills out after skiing
Also, Jeffy decided to pretend he had turret's syndrome today. We would be sitting on the lift or skiing and Jeffy would start yelling bad words. It was pretty funny. BC was not crowded today and the snow wasn't horrible. I did a few bumps, did some jumps in the terrain park, and even went in the half pipe. It was fun.
Tonight we are going to see Jonny again. Last night when I got home I sent him an email with a Marty Robbins song that I love. Hopefully he will play it tonight. Last night Jonny said he wasn't sure who MR was, but I think that's because he was drunk. After he finished playing he sat down at our table and we talked for a while. He's supposed to let me know if he's ever playing in Denver.
One kind of crap thing about the bar we went to was the shot ski. It's a ski with four shot glasses on it. People line up and do the shots from the ski. Since our table was right next to the stage we had to accommodate the shot ski. They would put the ski down in front of us and then everyone would face us while doing the shot. I was like "Jeffy, if someone projectile vomits on me I'm going to break their ass." But no one puked on me.
Woke up this morning around 7 with a hangover from having two glasses of wine and two beers after skiing all day. And last night after we got home from the bar I had some dessert wine. We listened to kid rock and Jeffy smoked cigarettes even though he quit.
I had so much fun last night that I decided to stay here one more night. But then I really am going home. And I'm not allowed to ski tomorrow. Today my knee looks like a hot air balloon. Every time I show it to Jeffy I can tell he wants to poke it because it looks so gross.
Jeffy chills out after skiing
Also, Jeffy decided to pretend he had turret's syndrome today. We would be sitting on the lift or skiing and Jeffy would start yelling bad words. It was pretty funny. BC was not crowded today and the snow wasn't horrible. I did a few bumps, did some jumps in the terrain park, and even went in the half pipe. It was fun.
Tonight we are going to see Jonny again. Last night when I got home I sent him an email with a Marty Robbins song that I love. Hopefully he will play it tonight. Last night Jonny said he wasn't sure who MR was, but I think that's because he was drunk. After he finished playing he sat down at our table and we talked for a while. He's supposed to let me know if he's ever playing in Denver.
One kind of crap thing about the bar we went to was the shot ski. It's a ski with four shot glasses on it. People line up and do the shots from the ski. Since our table was right next to the stage we had to accommodate the shot ski. They would put the ski down in front of us and then everyone would face us while doing the shot. I was like "Jeffy, if someone projectile vomits on me I'm going to break their ass." But no one puked on me.
Woke up this morning around 7 with a hangover from having two glasses of wine and two beers after skiing all day. And last night after we got home from the bar I had some dessert wine. We listened to kid rock and Jeffy smoked cigarettes even though he quit.
I had so much fun last night that I decided to stay here one more night. But then I really am going home. And I'm not allowed to ski tomorrow. Today my knee looks like a hot air balloon. Every time I show it to Jeffy I can tell he wants to poke it because it looks so gross.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
just call me Cinderella
If you are eating, and you are "sensitive", I would wait until you finish to read this.
Another great day of skiing with some work thrown in this morning and evening...it was in the 40s on the mountain today, and hardly anyone was there, which was nice.
The morning started out kind of rough since I had left my boots in my car overnight. I had an epic struggle getting them on my feet. In fact, I almost gave up on getting the right boot situated. Since the plastic was stiff and my foot was swollen from skiing yesterday I was having major problems.
I skied for about 4 hours and the pain in my feet kept getting worse and worse. I finally stopped and went into the lodge to take my boots off because the shooting pain in the front of my left foot was so bad I could barely tolerate it. Something was oozing out of my left big toe and my sock was all wet. I pulled the sock off quickly to see what was leaking from my foot and inadvertently ripped half my toe nail off. It had broken in my boot and was bleeding and leaking some kind of yellow substance. Gross. Trin, what the fuck is wrong with my toe (email me the answer when you get a chance - I noticed after skiing yesterday that the broken half of my toe nail was purple and green - do you want me to send you a picture)? I also saw that my right big toe nail is split down the middle too, I think from pressing against my boot for so long. I hope it doesn't fall off in the hot tub.
So I wedged my feet back into my boots and went to the surefoot store. As I was walking in I saw their little banner "the most comfortable ski boots made" and thought about how Jeffy said his boots feel like bedroom slippers. I was like WHATEVER.
It turns out my boot was sized wrong, so I had to get a bigger size and then had to get my bindings redone again (they did it at surefoot this time instead of me having to traipse around to find someone to do it). I felt kind of bad that those guys were stuck with my old boot shells that they won't be able to resell (I had decorated them with little hardcandy skulls). But my feet felt so much better, I guess I really don't care. I skied three days in those stupid boots and kept taking them back saying they were too small. A size too small it turns out.
A weird side note: the guy who did my boots this time told me that my feet are too small for my height and that might be why I'm so uncoordinated (this said after the loose end of velcro on my left pant leg got stuck to the front of my right ski pant leg, causing me to trip and knock over a cardboard replica of some ski guy that was in the middle of the store). For my height my feet should be at least one size larger. He claims. Hm.
Tomorrow I’m taking a private ski lesson. That should be good for a few laughs. And I’m supposed to go for a drink with the guy who signed me up for the ski lesson afterwards. He invited me because he said he thought I was funny. I wonder if he will still think I’m funny when I show up tomorrow, as promised, without washing my hair and wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing the past 3 days (at day 4 sweaty ski clothes start to smell really nice).
I haven’t washed my hair for over a week. When the ski lesson guy asked if I was going to wash my hair (he also suggested combing it) for my lesson tomorrow I told him "There's a time for washing and combing one's hair. Winter is not that time." So if you hear any ski guides from Copper say that, they stole the line from me.
Another great day of skiing with some work thrown in this morning and evening...it was in the 40s on the mountain today, and hardly anyone was there, which was nice.
The morning started out kind of rough since I had left my boots in my car overnight. I had an epic struggle getting them on my feet. In fact, I almost gave up on getting the right boot situated. Since the plastic was stiff and my foot was swollen from skiing yesterday I was having major problems.
I skied for about 4 hours and the pain in my feet kept getting worse and worse. I finally stopped and went into the lodge to take my boots off because the shooting pain in the front of my left foot was so bad I could barely tolerate it. Something was oozing out of my left big toe and my sock was all wet. I pulled the sock off quickly to see what was leaking from my foot and inadvertently ripped half my toe nail off. It had broken in my boot and was bleeding and leaking some kind of yellow substance. Gross. Trin, what the fuck is wrong with my toe (email me the answer when you get a chance - I noticed after skiing yesterday that the broken half of my toe nail was purple and green - do you want me to send you a picture)? I also saw that my right big toe nail is split down the middle too, I think from pressing against my boot for so long. I hope it doesn't fall off in the hot tub.
So I wedged my feet back into my boots and went to the surefoot store. As I was walking in I saw their little banner "the most comfortable ski boots made" and thought about how Jeffy said his boots feel like bedroom slippers. I was like WHATEVER.
It turns out my boot was sized wrong, so I had to get a bigger size and then had to get my bindings redone again (they did it at surefoot this time instead of me having to traipse around to find someone to do it). I felt kind of bad that those guys were stuck with my old boot shells that they won't be able to resell (I had decorated them with little hardcandy skulls). But my feet felt so much better, I guess I really don't care. I skied three days in those stupid boots and kept taking them back saying they were too small. A size too small it turns out.
A weird side note: the guy who did my boots this time told me that my feet are too small for my height and that might be why I'm so uncoordinated (this said after the loose end of velcro on my left pant leg got stuck to the front of my right ski pant leg, causing me to trip and knock over a cardboard replica of some ski guy that was in the middle of the store). For my height my feet should be at least one size larger. He claims. Hm.
Tomorrow I’m taking a private ski lesson. That should be good for a few laughs. And I’m supposed to go for a drink with the guy who signed me up for the ski lesson afterwards. He invited me because he said he thought I was funny. I wonder if he will still think I’m funny when I show up tomorrow, as promised, without washing my hair and wearing the same clothes I’ve been wearing the past 3 days (at day 4 sweaty ski clothes start to smell really nice).
I haven’t washed my hair for over a week. When the ski lesson guy asked if I was going to wash my hair (he also suggested combing it) for my lesson tomorrow I told him "There's a time for washing and combing one's hair. Winter is not that time." So if you hear any ski guides from Copper say that, they stole the line from me.
the shark ha ha show
Last night I had a dream that I had my own TV show. The TV show set was in the ocean and I did the show underwater, but not with oxygen because I could somehow breathe underwater. In fact, it wasn't like being underwater, but more like being in front of the water, which was this amazing blue color, like turquoise but brighter and really unnatural.
I introduced myself at the start of the show. Then, behind me, this HUGE great white shark appeared. He was my co host for the show. Except for his gums being really bright red he looked like a real shark. His job in the show was to tell jokes to try to make me laugh. If I laughed at one of his jokes he would laugh too, and his extensible jaw would bounce up and down, and that would make me laugh more. I think he was purposely doing that.
I don't remember any of the jokes. But I do remember him saying, at one point, "Nice socks!" I looked down and realized I was wearing my under ski clothes (long underwear, ski socks, and a long sleeve waffle shirt). I was kind of embarrassed that I had forgotten to change from my ski clothes before the show started so I said "Oh, I went skiing today." And the shark said "Whatever. Jew." And then the audience started to laugh, so I said "Whatever. Shark." People laughed harder, so I started going "Oh look at me, I'm a great white" and then biting at the air and flapping my arms around like they were fins, and so he said "Oh look, I'm a Jew" and suddenly he had a pair of skis and ski poles and was acting like he was trying to put the skis on but he kept falling over into the snow, which had appeared with the skis. That part of the dream was kind of strange.
Then the show was over and the set started to go dark, and the shark said "I think this will do a lot for humanity". I was going to ask him how but then I woke up.
I introduced myself at the start of the show. Then, behind me, this HUGE great white shark appeared. He was my co host for the show. Except for his gums being really bright red he looked like a real shark. His job in the show was to tell jokes to try to make me laugh. If I laughed at one of his jokes he would laugh too, and his extensible jaw would bounce up and down, and that would make me laugh more. I think he was purposely doing that.
I don't remember any of the jokes. But I do remember him saying, at one point, "Nice socks!" I looked down and realized I was wearing my under ski clothes (long underwear, ski socks, and a long sleeve waffle shirt). I was kind of embarrassed that I had forgotten to change from my ski clothes before the show started so I said "Oh, I went skiing today." And the shark said "Whatever. Jew." And then the audience started to laugh, so I said "Whatever. Shark." People laughed harder, so I started going "Oh look at me, I'm a great white" and then biting at the air and flapping my arms around like they were fins, and so he said "Oh look, I'm a Jew" and suddenly he had a pair of skis and ski poles and was acting like he was trying to put the skis on but he kept falling over into the snow, which had appeared with the skis. That part of the dream was kind of strange.
Then the show was over and the set started to go dark, and the shark said "I think this will do a lot for humanity". I was going to ask him how but then I woke up.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
thanks for the sun
I got up at 5 this morning and worked like mad to get everything done I needed to get done for work so that I could ski today.
Got up to Copper at one-ish. I skied until the lifts closed at 4. Slid into the chute right as they were closing American Flyer and they let me go up. It was another blue bird day, temps high enough that I didn't even use hand warmers. It was great and I felt the happiest that I've felt in a long time. Have another two days to myself and then will be joining Jeffy for what promises to be an epic two days.
I like to go on ski trips by myself because I get to do whatever I want on the lift and not get yelled at. I take my gloves off. I don't hold on to my ski poles. I don't put that bar thing down and I knock my skis together. I did kind of miss my ex-boyfriend's happy dinosaur noises that he used to make when we were riding the lift. I also missed having Jeffy smashing his hand down on top of my helmet when I said something funny (I think Jeffy's hand is bigger than my entire head).
There were a lot of ginger kids skiing today. I got on a lift with this super ginger kid. His hair was a sickeningly red shade of red. The whole time he was talking to me I kept imagining his pubic hair being that same color of red. Yuck. I don't know how people can fuck really red red heads. I bet that kid never gets laid. Who wants to see some flaccid white blob of flesh like a fucking dumpling sitting in a pile of scary hair.
I practiced the exercises that Jeffy told me to do. I've spent the past few weeks, when I'm at home, working on my bosu ball to get better at shifting my weight to my right leg (I do that while I'm watching a movie, which can get tricky if I also have to read subtitles). After a half hour I was doing a lot better about not picking up my ski. I may take a lesson on Thursday to make sure I can ski well with Jeffy on Friday. Otherwise, I might not ever see him again. He made fun of me for almost stabbing him with my pole last time we skied together, when he snuck up behind me as I was playing 20 dollar in my head (even though I said I was going to stop thinking MIA music in my head all the time as a new year's resolution - "I put people on the map that have never seen a map" - okay, make that song stop).
The other thing I figured out is what I was doing wrong with my upper body. I noticed Jeffy was doing something with his shoulders but I couldn't figure out how to do it myself. Today I did better at trying to keep my upper hill shoulder turned in with my knee. I credit the tango music I was listening to, because I noticed when I was listening to the who I was not doing as good of a shoulder job.
I can't figure out how to turn my boot heaters on, but I brought the manual so I guess I can look it up. The manual is...somewhere. I'll probably just call Jeffy tomorrow, and that will be one more thing I will get shit about for the rest of my life. Yes, I have a master's in engineering. No, I can't figure out how the on switch works. And the fucking things keep blinking their little red lights at me like hahahahayoucan'tfigureitoutpushthebuttonagainmaybesomethingwillhappen.
I wonder if the other thing that's helping is climbing. Yesterday I was feeling pretty solid even though I hadn't climbed in over 10 days (LA engagement, no close gym, as if I had time anyway). Climbing is probably the best therapy for knee injuries. I'll do some of that when I get home this weekend. My knee kind of looks like a hot air balloon right now and I forgot my ice packs.
Got up to Copper at one-ish. I skied until the lifts closed at 4. Slid into the chute right as they were closing American Flyer and they let me go up. It was another blue bird day, temps high enough that I didn't even use hand warmers. It was great and I felt the happiest that I've felt in a long time. Have another two days to myself and then will be joining Jeffy for what promises to be an epic two days.
I like to go on ski trips by myself because I get to do whatever I want on the lift and not get yelled at. I take my gloves off. I don't hold on to my ski poles. I don't put that bar thing down and I knock my skis together. I did kind of miss my ex-boyfriend's happy dinosaur noises that he used to make when we were riding the lift. I also missed having Jeffy smashing his hand down on top of my helmet when I said something funny (I think Jeffy's hand is bigger than my entire head).
There were a lot of ginger kids skiing today. I got on a lift with this super ginger kid. His hair was a sickeningly red shade of red. The whole time he was talking to me I kept imagining his pubic hair being that same color of red. Yuck. I don't know how people can fuck really red red heads. I bet that kid never gets laid. Who wants to see some flaccid white blob of flesh like a fucking dumpling sitting in a pile of scary hair.
I practiced the exercises that Jeffy told me to do. I've spent the past few weeks, when I'm at home, working on my bosu ball to get better at shifting my weight to my right leg (I do that while I'm watching a movie, which can get tricky if I also have to read subtitles). After a half hour I was doing a lot better about not picking up my ski. I may take a lesson on Thursday to make sure I can ski well with Jeffy on Friday. Otherwise, I might not ever see him again. He made fun of me for almost stabbing him with my pole last time we skied together, when he snuck up behind me as I was playing 20 dollar in my head (even though I said I was going to stop thinking MIA music in my head all the time as a new year's resolution - "I put people on the map that have never seen a map" - okay, make that song stop).
The other thing I figured out is what I was doing wrong with my upper body. I noticed Jeffy was doing something with his shoulders but I couldn't figure out how to do it myself. Today I did better at trying to keep my upper hill shoulder turned in with my knee. I credit the tango music I was listening to, because I noticed when I was listening to the who I was not doing as good of a shoulder job.
I can't figure out how to turn my boot heaters on, but I brought the manual so I guess I can look it up. The manual is...somewhere. I'll probably just call Jeffy tomorrow, and that will be one more thing I will get shit about for the rest of my life. Yes, I have a master's in engineering. No, I can't figure out how the on switch works. And the fucking things keep blinking their little red lights at me like hahahahayoucan'tfigureitoutpushthebuttonagainmaybesomethingwillhappen.
I wonder if the other thing that's helping is climbing. Yesterday I was feeling pretty solid even though I hadn't climbed in over 10 days (LA engagement, no close gym, as if I had time anyway). Climbing is probably the best therapy for knee injuries. I'll do some of that when I get home this weekend. My knee kind of looks like a hot air balloon right now and I forgot my ice packs.
Monday, February 2, 2009
murder in the snow
I just watched a documentary that house pest 2.0 gave me.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/7715109.stm
It's about how he witnessed, along with 100 other mountaineers attempting to summit Cho Oyu, the murder of Tibetan children attempting to escape to Nepal. On film, one of house pest 2.0's clients captured the murder of a 17 year old nun; seven other refugees were shot and their bodies kicked into a crevasse. After HP2.0 reported the murders, anonymously (because no one else did), he was harassed by his employer, who also apparently ratted him out to the Chinese government, causing him to almost not make it out of the country. His life has completely changed and he no longer guides in China because he spoke out about the murders. When a woman leading up the human rights watch in Asia attempted to contact climbers who had witnessed the murders, few did the same, even though all were witnesses. Disgusting cowards.
I'll never understand how a male species so bent on fucking and procreating as much as possible could stand idly by and watch children get gunned down, especially when they likely had kids the same age as those that were shot. Men are I guess by nature more worried about the amount of money they have invested in something (a house, a fucking summit bid) than they are innocent children being fucking shot.
I guess the documentary really hit a raw nerve tonight because today I was helping Trina write a story about the Virginia Tech shootings. We were talking about how, back in the day, I would practically get mauled by students for riding my mountain bike across the drill field ("illegal" by the campus rules). The idea that some fucking asshole could walk across campus with multiple guns and ammo two hours after shooting two innocent people, and then proceed to lock the doors of Norris hall with bike locks, so no one could get out, before he started shooting the place up...I just can't imagine that ever happening on the campus where I went to school. How could no one see his guns? How could no one see him locking the doors?
The problem with people is they don't give a shit. Even in the documentary, one guy was talking about how these Chinese soldiers had automatic weapons and the mountaineers didn't. How about dropping an ice ax into someone's head? How about 100 people not being hostage to a few fucks with a gun? Nazi Germans hauling off the Jews? Might as well be.
In conclusion to my tirade, which I should stop before my head explodes, since I know it's impossible to ban guns, here's an idea - you're so worried about me smoking, and yet it costs more money for me to smoke a pack of cigarettes and potentially expose you to second hand smoke, which will cause you to sue me if you get cancer, than it does for me to take a 9 mm to a shooting range and have fun with a target, even if the next time I load my gun the target is you. Bullets should cost a lot more fucking money, and I mean that world wide - think of them, tax wise, as a bottle of Jim Beam and a pack of Marlboro Reds rolled into one. Throw the gun in for free with the ammo, I don't give a fuck. And how about making them with the same care that most crap is made with these days, i.e. the fucking thing will break after the warranty runs out (30 days, tick tock tick tock, better go shoot someone quick like).
Cops, and military guys who need to shoot, I'm not talking about you...the gov can provide a subsidy. Government can't afford it? Whatever, steal the ammo from Black Water. You know they charged four times what it was worth when they billed that stupid fuck Bush.
Okay, I'm going to have a drink and do some yoga breathing. Maybe pray for humanity. And ask anyone who reads this to do something. Not like donate money. Just try to be nicer to your fellow man. Work on your compassion. Do what ever is in your power for people in need (BTW, praying, yeah, that doesn't really help - but if it makes you feel better like you did something, tear it up).
I don't know, it's probably hopeless.
"Madness, insanity, live in profanity
then some punk claimin they understandin me
give me a break, what world do you live in
death is my sect, guess my religion"
Ice-T
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/7715109.stm
It's about how he witnessed, along with 100 other mountaineers attempting to summit Cho Oyu, the murder of Tibetan children attempting to escape to Nepal. On film, one of house pest 2.0's clients captured the murder of a 17 year old nun; seven other refugees were shot and their bodies kicked into a crevasse. After HP2.0 reported the murders, anonymously (because no one else did), he was harassed by his employer, who also apparently ratted him out to the Chinese government, causing him to almost not make it out of the country. His life has completely changed and he no longer guides in China because he spoke out about the murders. When a woman leading up the human rights watch in Asia attempted to contact climbers who had witnessed the murders, few did the same, even though all were witnesses. Disgusting cowards.
I'll never understand how a male species so bent on fucking and procreating as much as possible could stand idly by and watch children get gunned down, especially when they likely had kids the same age as those that were shot. Men are I guess by nature more worried about the amount of money they have invested in something (a house, a fucking summit bid) than they are innocent children being fucking shot.
I guess the documentary really hit a raw nerve tonight because today I was helping Trina write a story about the Virginia Tech shootings. We were talking about how, back in the day, I would practically get mauled by students for riding my mountain bike across the drill field ("illegal" by the campus rules). The idea that some fucking asshole could walk across campus with multiple guns and ammo two hours after shooting two innocent people, and then proceed to lock the doors of Norris hall with bike locks, so no one could get out, before he started shooting the place up...I just can't imagine that ever happening on the campus where I went to school. How could no one see his guns? How could no one see him locking the doors?
The problem with people is they don't give a shit. Even in the documentary, one guy was talking about how these Chinese soldiers had automatic weapons and the mountaineers didn't. How about dropping an ice ax into someone's head? How about 100 people not being hostage to a few fucks with a gun? Nazi Germans hauling off the Jews? Might as well be.
In conclusion to my tirade, which I should stop before my head explodes, since I know it's impossible to ban guns, here's an idea - you're so worried about me smoking, and yet it costs more money for me to smoke a pack of cigarettes and potentially expose you to second hand smoke, which will cause you to sue me if you get cancer, than it does for me to take a 9 mm to a shooting range and have fun with a target, even if the next time I load my gun the target is you. Bullets should cost a lot more fucking money, and I mean that world wide - think of them, tax wise, as a bottle of Jim Beam and a pack of Marlboro Reds rolled into one. Throw the gun in for free with the ammo, I don't give a fuck. And how about making them with the same care that most crap is made with these days, i.e. the fucking thing will break after the warranty runs out (30 days, tick tock tick tock, better go shoot someone quick like).
Cops, and military guys who need to shoot, I'm not talking about you...the gov can provide a subsidy. Government can't afford it? Whatever, steal the ammo from Black Water. You know they charged four times what it was worth when they billed that stupid fuck Bush.
Okay, I'm going to have a drink and do some yoga breathing. Maybe pray for humanity. And ask anyone who reads this to do something. Not like donate money. Just try to be nicer to your fellow man. Work on your compassion. Do what ever is in your power for people in need (BTW, praying, yeah, that doesn't really help - but if it makes you feel better like you did something, tear it up).
I don't know, it's probably hopeless.
"Madness, insanity, live in profanity
then some punk claimin they understandin me
give me a break, what world do you live in
death is my sect, guess my religion"
Ice-T
what does it mean to not be missing a piece?
http://osorhan.com/bigo/index.php
What does it mean to not be missing a piece?
It means to be a person who doesn't want or need anything from anyone. Fulfilled would be a good word for that.
But if a person is fulfilled, and they don't need or want anything from anyone, then what interaction could you possibly have with that person?
None, unless they know how to do taxes. Then you could ask them to do your taxes for you.
But then wouldn't that mean that you aren't fulfilled, because you need someone to do your taxes, so that other fulfilled person won't help you because they don't want to interact with someone who isn't fulfilled except to tell them that they need to work on themselves?
Yes it does, and that's why we have accountants. It's okay to be with someone if you aren't completely fulfilled, as long as you are paying that person for their services.
But isn't part of being a fulfilled person having relationships with people, and by virtue of that, don't relationships revolve around wanting things from people, like their friendship?
No, because being fulfilled can be achieved just by having orgasms. Everything else in life is really just superfluous, even taxes. And you should have orgasms before you want or need them, otherwise, you will be unfulfilled. Orgasms are something you can pay someone for, if you don't know how to do it yourself, as long as you don't rely on that person you are paying, because then you become unfulfilled by wanting or needing something from that person, and you'll only be fulfilled for like the 30 seconds you have an orgasm. Maybe get a book on masturbation if you don't know what you are doing.
So what happens if you are a completely fulfilled person who meets another completely fulfilled person?
Nothing. Because you are both so fulfilled, there's no need to interact with anyone else. You might share the sidewalk as you stroll along the block. Maybe you think to yourself "hey, there's a completely fulfilled person!" and they will think the same thing about you. And you will both sigh and say "I'm glad to avoid having to want or need anything from anyone. Life is so much better this way." And then you'll go into a coffee shop and order some coffee. Oh, wait, scratch that, you won't even need coffee, because you're too fulfilled to need anything.
Life will be so good.
with apologies to the droon - how can I not make fun of you every day of my life?
What does it mean to not be missing a piece?
It means to be a person who doesn't want or need anything from anyone. Fulfilled would be a good word for that.
But if a person is fulfilled, and they don't need or want anything from anyone, then what interaction could you possibly have with that person?
None, unless they know how to do taxes. Then you could ask them to do your taxes for you.
But then wouldn't that mean that you aren't fulfilled, because you need someone to do your taxes, so that other fulfilled person won't help you because they don't want to interact with someone who isn't fulfilled except to tell them that they need to work on themselves?
Yes it does, and that's why we have accountants. It's okay to be with someone if you aren't completely fulfilled, as long as you are paying that person for their services.
But isn't part of being a fulfilled person having relationships with people, and by virtue of that, don't relationships revolve around wanting things from people, like their friendship?
No, because being fulfilled can be achieved just by having orgasms. Everything else in life is really just superfluous, even taxes. And you should have orgasms before you want or need them, otherwise, you will be unfulfilled. Orgasms are something you can pay someone for, if you don't know how to do it yourself, as long as you don't rely on that person you are paying, because then you become unfulfilled by wanting or needing something from that person, and you'll only be fulfilled for like the 30 seconds you have an orgasm. Maybe get a book on masturbation if you don't know what you are doing.
So what happens if you are a completely fulfilled person who meets another completely fulfilled person?
Nothing. Because you are both so fulfilled, there's no need to interact with anyone else. You might share the sidewalk as you stroll along the block. Maybe you think to yourself "hey, there's a completely fulfilled person!" and they will think the same thing about you. And you will both sigh and say "I'm glad to avoid having to want or need anything from anyone. Life is so much better this way." And then you'll go into a coffee shop and order some coffee. Oh, wait, scratch that, you won't even need coffee, because you're too fulfilled to need anything.
Life will be so good.
with apologies to the droon - how can I not make fun of you every day of my life?
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