step into liquid bugs plus doctor drinks

I didn't get to write about this on tuesday, and perhaps you won't find it funny but...

On monday night I insisted that everyone at surf camp watch step into liquid because 1) only two people knew who Laird Hamilton is and 2) am I the only one who studied the materials sent to us before camp and watched all the videos?????? Apparently, yes.

The downstairs area where the tv is is an open space with sliding glass doors. Basically, every wall can be slid open so it's almost like you're in a house with no walls. That was ideal on monday night because it was fucking hot outside, and inside, since this place has no air conditioning (for the record I'm not complaining).

There are a lot of cicadas and other flying bugs here since we are in the middle of a jungle/mountain. Seriously, it is louder here than in my house in the city. I'll have to make a recording of the noise. We all settled in to watch the movie, 10 of us, and we had the ceiling fans going full blast to cool the place off, as well as having every sliding glass wall that could open, opened.

The flying bugs really liked the tv light, and after banging into the tv would head toward the ceiling, get sucked into the ceiling fans, and then, as they hit the blades of the fan, they would get shot in all directions. I got hit in the back of the head twice by bugs. As the bugs increased so did the bug bullets flying from the blades of the ceiling fan. All of the women left within a half hour. Then it was just D, myself, and D's dad. They finally got tired of getting pelted with bugs so they bid me good night, but not before D offered to cut up the ornamental aloe plant in front of the door to the tv area so I would have some fresh aloe to put on my face and spider bite.  I was like "I don't think that aloe plant is meant to be cut up" and he was like "but it's fucking aloe and it will grow back".

I'd mention that D wanted to finish watching step into liquid with me but his dad wouldn't leave the two of us alone even though I'm 13 years older than D. I guess he thought I was some kind of enchantress who would convince his son to leave his wife and 4 year old daughter. Because many guys I know leave a younger woman for an older woman with a huge rash on her face and a swollen foot (from the spider bite).

Anyway, today we had a day off and I had more time to talk to D's dad. It turns out he's a retired plastic surgeon. I told him about my 3-D printed jaw bone and suddenly we were the best of friends. We had conversations on and off all day about health care. Then at dinner I was trying to give the two single women (Ez and her 23 year old friend) advice about dating ("tell the guy you will not date him until he takes an IQ test, he must score at least a 128, and provides his medical records, particularly to prove he does not have an STD, and he has to do at least 10 pull ups"). D's dad, hereafter referred to as 'doc', said "well what if he wants to do chin ups instead of pull ups?" and I said "FAILS!" and doc turned to his son and said "I think she's cracked the code! We men are done!"

After dinner most everyone said around the table to talk (a rarity here - most people go to bed by 730 - serously!!!!). I sat next to doc and he even put his arm on the back of my chair which made me feel good, like he finally realized I'm not some crazy pot smoking asshole wanna be surfer. Doc and I polished off a bottle of wine, also a rarity here as no one really drinks (if you saw where we surfed you'd understand why - you lay in bed at night terrified what the next day will bring and no one wants to do anything that could cause them to not have their wits about them). We talked about the particle zoo, dark matter, the origins of malamuts, and how shitty child care is in the US.

Doc started musing about friends of his that he could set me up with. I mentioned that my last boyfriend sat with me through an hour long smithsonian documentary about dissecting a great white shark and then had a conversation about it and that that's what I would expect of a significant other (besides the pull ups requirement). He said he would think about people he knew and that he would get back to me. 

And his son suggested I start a blog because I'm the most interesting person he knows. Mm hmm...