Sunday ended up being one of those days where I decided to try to complete some projects on my list.
One of the projects involved making a shadow box for some little Guatemalan dolls that I bought in Antigua (cost - 25 cents each). As they didn't have stands and were made out of little three inch sticks it was hard to figure out how to mount them in the shadow box. The back of the box was made out of particle board and drilling through it with my dremel was making a mess. So, in the interest of completing the project in a timely manner and not further ruining my shadow box, I decided to glue the dolls in place.
I pulled my contact cement out of the jar where I keep all the stuff that I know I'm not responsible enough to use (the contact cement, hot mustard that always comes with my Chinese food, double sided tape, and unwaxed dental floss). I took the cap off and squeezed the tube onto the back of the shadow box. Nothing came out. Realizing that dried glue was blocking the opening of the tube I got a safety pin and tried to clear out the clog. The safety pin kept bending out of shape and was obviously not strong enough. So then I got a HUGE safety pin and managed to jam it into the tube. Unbeknownst to me, because of the length, the pin went through the side of the tube as well as through the top.
So when I squeezed the tube, holding it in my left hand (because regardless of my writing skills, I'm left handed), glue came out the side as well as the top. As the glue dripped all over the inside of my shadow box from the side of the tube I pulled my hand away, managing to drip glue on the glass that covers the shadow box. Not thinking, I tried to wipe it away with my right fingers. Bad idea. My right hand adhered to the surface of the 8 1/2 x 11 inch piece of glass. Then the phone started to ring. That's when I realized I had a piece of glass glued to my right hand and almost all the fingers of my left hand glued to the glue tube.
Then my nose started to itch. While trying to scratch my nose on a book precariously balanced on my book shelf I examined my options. Using the phone to call for help would be impossible as I couldn't get it out of its cradle. I couldn't wait until the stuff fell off because people at work would surely notice I had a huge pane of glass glued to my hand. I had realized at some point that there was an 800 number for customer service on the side of the glue tube but now my fingers were glued over it, and anyway, I couldn't use the phone as stated above.
I went into the bathroom and, using the glass pane in baseball bat fashion, knocked my nail polish remover off its shelf under the sink and onto the floor. I then managed to cup it in the bottom of my left palm and drop it in the bathtub. Then I unscrewed the cap with my toes, and using my feet, poured it onto my left hand.
Nothing. The glue did not loosen at all. I tried angling some of the nail polish remover on my right hand (almost shattering the glass on the side of the tub in the process). It felt like it was loosening up on my right hand, but not much. I realized it was time to escalate the situation. I went into the carpeted area in my bedroom, placed the glass on the floor, put both feet on the glass while sitting on the edge of the bed, and pulled. My hand eventually came off. I'm sure my fingerprints will grow back.
Then I took a pair of scissors and cut as much of the glue tube away from my left fingers as I could. I put more nail polish remover on them and then put on a cotton glove to let the whole thing soak. After about a half hour the stuff started to peel off except for a few places where the glue was really thick.
Luckily the amount of climbing I do has led to a decent set of calluses on both hands. I now have blisters on my left hand from the glue. There are colorless blotches on my carpet, I assume from the nail polish remover, and I still have no feeling in my fingertips.
Please don't ever allow me to buy or use contact cement again.
No comments:
Post a Comment