separation anxiety

My work friend C has been moved from across me to the upstairs of our building. It's like she's in a universe far, far away. The only upside we can see to this crap situation is that we'll both be getting more steps on our fitbits when we visit each other.

But before she moved we played one final prank (we are known, or in some cases not known, for our little pranks). C is sort of a hoarder and had tons and tons of papers in various cabinets and overheads in her cube. She was despairing moving it and I, the minimalist, was like "just throw it all away". But it all had to be thrown in a shredder which would have taken hours because the opening is so small (no one could find the key for the lid).

So I said "let's put the papers in Mr. Army's office." Which we did. We put piles everywhere on his desk. We threw CDs on the floor. Etc.

Well, when Mr. Army finally came to work on Wednesday (he was out monday and tuesday supposedly with an ear infection but rumor mill says he was taking care of his girlfriend who just got fake boobs) he had a coronary.

As it turns out, most of the papers we put on his desk my colleague C had inherited from her colleague D who we don't like at all. Prank bonus points. Mr. Army took one look at the papers, saw they were D's papers, and in proper adult style took the papers and threw them all over D's cube while screaming "WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR SHIT ALL OVER MY OFFICE?????" D cowered in a corner and denied they were her papers, which just made Mr. Army madder. It was seriously a lot of papers. Like 3 large garbage bags worth of papers.

Then today C was cleaning her cube with cleaning supplies and we found one cabinet she had forgotten to empty. She was like "fuck me, I have to carry all this shit upstairs?" and I said "um, no, because we can put it in Mr. Army's office."

We hid little piles of papers in every desk drawer and cabinet in his cube. He will never find them all until he retires and cleans everything out.