Thursday, October 22, 2015

Chapter 11: A Crafty Feller Commits A Crime

Besides cringle picking and mitten making, the croco-diamond spent, it was noticed, a lot of time in the library. He said he was doing research to cure his cringle crisp allergy.
The kangawrong was also busy - peeling, knitting, and fancy hopping. It was so industrious with these activities that it didn’t have time to fix its fedora, but continued to wear it even though the brim had fallen off and only one ear hole was still intact because of the accident in the ton-o-tap.
The giant man’s production was going well, sales were steady at the market, and after calculating profits he determined in two weeks time he would be ready to send his first batch of cringle crisps to a store.
#
One evening in the library the giant man reminded the croco-diamond he needed the design for the cringle crisp packaging soon and the croco-diamond’s portrait needed to be taken for the box. The croco-diamond had also promised to design the lettering on the packaging, which would say “Croco-diamond Crisps.”
The croco-diamond, who didn’t seem to be listening, responded only with a request for the giant man to buy him some termaters the next day at the market. He didn’t look up from the book he was reading, Ancienti Mexicani Miracali Cures.
So the giant man addressed the croco-diamond sternly. “Renaming the cringle crisp to croco-diamond crisps is what you wanted more than anything in all of the worlds. How ever, you don’t seem to be working on the packaging. Or marketing.” He paused. “Is everything okay?”
The croco-diamond looked at the giant man. He said only one word.
“Termaters.”
#
When the giant man gave the croco-diamond the termaters he took them out to his hammock. Later, when the giant man checked the croco-diamond’s hammock, he discovered the termaters had disappeared.
#
The night before the second mitten delivery, all, except for the croco-diamond, went to bed early. Having finished his review of his plan for the next day’s mitten mission, the croco-diamond sat at the kitchen table to study another plan.
The next morning the giant man found the green tops of the termaters neatly disposed of in the trash. He knew the croco-diamond had used the chopping knife because he had put it back in the wrong place.
“Every time odd things stop happening around here odd things start happening again. And it always seems to involve one particular individual.” The giant man sighed then began preparing breakfast.
#
Arriving once again on the wharf, this time without the kangapult, all found the whitey biteys they had met before, and four more, waiting in the water. The whitey biteys had been talking excitedly as all approached the edge of the wharf but stopped speaking on seeing the kangawrong, who was hopping in the lead carrying mittens.
Earl said, “Howdy pardner. Uh, we got us here a sishu-a-shun. A serious sishu-a-shun.”
The croco-diamond ran in front of the kangawrong and gently pushed it aside.
“As the commander of this mission I am the lead situation solver. Forthwith, do tell, what is the nature of the problem?”
“I can’t never unnerstan’ that one when he’s talkin,” muttered Earl.
“What happened?” asked the giant man.
“Well, seems we done got ourselves robbed from our mittens by that evil feller. Goes by the name octapeu. He’s one of them types, you know, eats fancy cheeses and puts on airs all a time. ‘Specially ‘bout pickles.”
“His name, as you pronounce it, sounds Freuch,” mentioned the croco-diamond.
“Well, what ever type of name the feller has he done stoled our mittens,” said Evett.
“Have you an idea of this, er, feller’s location? We shall go there post haste and unmit him of the mittens!”
“He’s a real sneaky feller. But we got a suspishun he’s done hid hiself inna cave.”
“Ah. He’s concealed in a cave...” The croco-diamond didn’t like caves. At all. They were dark and made him afraid. But he wouldn’t show fear.
So he said, “I will command this mission. Perhaps, sir, you can proceed with the whitey biteys to the cave.”
He gestured to indicate that the giant man should jump into the water.
“I can’t hold my breath that long under water. Is the cave down deep?” asked the giant man.
“It’s a ways down, yepper,” said Evett.
“Right then.” The croco-diamond turned to the kangawrong. “I bet you can hold your breath longer than the giant man. And with those large feet you’re sure to be a strong swimmer.”
The kangawrong did not look very sure. In fact, it didn’t even know how to swim.
“Come now, it will be just like having a bath. You like having baths don’t you?” whispered the croco-diamond so none could see that the kangawrong might not follow his order.
The kangawrong clasped its fingers together and wriggled them rapidly wrigglely wriggley. It had always done what ever the croco-diamond had asked. But it did not want to go into an underwater cave. It looked at the giant man with eyes that stretched from its ears to its muzzle.
“It can’t swim. Its arms are too short,” said the giant man.
“But its ears are quite long. Perhaps with its ears...ear paddling...a new swim stroke like fancy hopping...” The croco-diamond smiled hopefully at the kangawrong.
“No. it can’t go.” The kangawrong looked relieved. “If you don’t go, none will go.”
“Well, then. We can always knit replacement mittens and let this octopeu, er, feller, keep what he’s pilfered.”
“But ah, what if that feller jest takes em new ones when we git more? Likely that’s what he’s a gonna do, that crafty feller,” said Earl.
“This octopeu is quite crafty and has created a conundrum.”
The croco-diamond paced back and forth, scared to go underwater and into a cave. In the past he had done some dangerous things, but always to gain a jewel, never to help others.
All eyes followed the croco-diamond as he paced, mumbling, “And me without even my Strogatzian Sword. Going into a cave unarmed. My jewels. It’s going to be cold. And dark.”
The largest of the whitey biteys, sensing the croco-diamond’s reluctance, said, “Doncha worry ‘bout it pardner. We gonna be okay. We done troubled y’all enough. Thank ya kindly anyways fer thinkin’ ‘bout us time before when ya brought us them gifts of fine mittens. Which we got robbed of.”
The kangawrong held out one of the newly-knitted mittens to the whitey biteys.
“Naw, we ain’t gonna take no more them mittens ‘cause that crafty feller jest gonna steal ‘em like he done before. But thank ya kindly. We shore did like them fine mittens.”
The largest whitey bitey waved at all on the wharf with his fin, then said, “Awright boys, let’s get us back on down with them fishes an’ such.”
Suddenly the croco-diamond stopped pacing and stood on his back legs. He held his right foot up and pointed a shiny nail toward the sky.
“Gentlemen, your attention please! I have a plan!”

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