unlike big foot we have proof...actually, maybe Mr. Army IS big foot...

I sent an email to my friend G about the cookie exchange I had with Mr. Army.

G responded back:

Mr. Army is comically idiotic. Does he seriously exist?

I wrote:
Yes he's real. And he's funnier than two greased midgets fucking in a burlap sack.

Actually, I would not find that funny. I don't even know why I said that. Midgets give me nightmares when they're the ones with disproportional hands and heads.

Shit, now I'm going to be thinking about that for the rest of the night.

Where was I...

Oh yeah. I'm going to stir him up on Wednesday by bringing in more peanut butter cookies but I'm going to record him and send you the recording so you can see I'm not making this shit up. The cookies will taste good but I'm going to make them look really fucked up to instigate as much mayhem as possible.

You will laugh. 

I'll take pictures of the cookies too.

NO. 

IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will bring in my quinoa snacks. Yes!!!!!! He'll have a verbal coronary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, doing that on Wednesday...