and about my new book

At dinner on Saturday I was talking to the writer's group inner circle about my dreams (can't remember how it came up). I initially wanted to make them into a book but people thought it was a stupid idea. But Jeff thought it was a good idea. He asked me to send him links to some of my dreams, but said he was too busy rewriting a play that's in a contest to read them until August 25th.

Me:

Jeff, you aren't THAT god damn busy that you can't take five minutes to read these:

The dream about a comedy show with a great white (forgot about the jewish jokes in this, you'll enjoy it)
http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2009/02/shark-ha-ha-show.html

The dream about being in a show where Drew Barrymore gets killed:
http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2009/07/broken-vase.html

This is about finding out the secrets of the universe. You will laugh, I promise:
http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2011/04/secret-of-universerevealed-here.html

Can't find the monster dream right now, but this is a dream I had about magic clay and farts:
http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2008/12/if-only-there-were-such-thing-as-magic.html

So, maybe this could be my next book...

Jeff:

These are all pretty great.  I think each would make a good short story.  Start with that and then worry about making them into a book.  

Me:

"Dear New Yorker Magazine:

I am submitting for your consideration a short story I've written based on a dream I had about magic clay. Tea Leoni also farts into a vat of tuna salad and makes Elizabeth Taylor eat it. I apologize for not being able to figure out how to make a squiggle over the "e" in Tea's name.

Sincerely,

Franki Flowers"

I'll be published in no time!

Jonathan (who's only 21):

I feel utterly hopeless about being able to write anything half as interesting as everything I've just read.

Me:

Jonathan,

The secret to life is that you're going to die. So do shit assuming it's going to kill you but you're going to die anyway so who cares.

Then laugh about it. And write it down. Including any resulting nightmares or dreams.

"Oh shit, I just stepped on a rusty nail and will die of tetanus! Remember when Kevin made farting noises? Haha! Oh, was that a dream or was I really abducted by aliens?"

Fade to black.