the secret of the universe...revealed here!

Still blaming paint fumes for my crazy dreams...I painted my kitchen yesterday....

Last night I had a dream that I was working in this building that looked like a school, except that it was an office. Everyone was running around like crazy but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be working on. In fact, my job there was so boring that I realized as I was walking down the hall that I had forgotten to go to work the day before.

I ended up walking into this women's lounge. There was a huge bathtub and two women were sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding a book that looked like the gutenberg bible with all these intricate drawings. They screamed when they saw me, and then an older, professor looking man with spectacles came out of a broom closet and said "oh god no!" I was like "what?" And he said "I can't tell you, it's classified". I was like "dude, I have a clearance."

So then he was like "great, you can help us with our project". I asked what the project was. He said "we've built the largest telescope in the world, and it's in the attic of this building". I was like really, how cool. He said "we are writing the story of the universe in this book (the gutenberg bible looking book) after we find the stories in the stars". So I said "it turns out I'm a writer too".

Everyone got excited and said they would take me to the telescope. I was excited too, though I pointed out they had put the secret entrance in the women's lounge, so it would look suspicious for men to go in there. The secret entrance was like a dumb waiter in the wall, but when I stepped into the dumb waiter it flipped around (like the handle of a mailbox) and dumped me into a tunnel, where I was vacuumed up into the attic.

The attic was a super technical operations center, and the telescope was huge and beautiful. I was really excited to use it. The professor guy said "Okay, when you look through the eye piece, you will see all the secrets of the universe, and then you will write them in this book".

I looked through the eye piece and saw....

Five white dots. Five fucking white dots. It was like the big dipper, but not even close to being as cool.

Everyone in the room started saying "isn't it so amazing?" I suddenly felt really depressed because I thought maybe I just couldn't see the secrets, or these people were so crazy they thought 5 dots were the universe.

Then I woke up.