puree of vegetable soup - another reason why I hate cooking

So today I decided to make some healthy vegetable soup. My friend Cam lent me a Williams Sonoma cook book with soup recipes that, she said, "even a moron could follow".

So I decided to make the puree of vegetable soup, which is leeks, carrots, potatoes, zucchini, garbanzo beans, some tomato paste, and a few other things. I used a box of open chicken broth for the broth part, even though it's been open in my frig for 4 weeks and expired 4 March. I asked the FRG and he said it was okay to use it.

Anyway, the first thing I had to do was finely chop leeks and put them in some oil. I've never seen a leek before, and had no idea what part of it I was supposed to put in the soup. So I watched this video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6zHAIfyJxI. I gave it a thumbs up even though it wasn't really helpful because her leek didn't look like my leek.

Then I texted the FRG and asked if a leek is comprised of one leaf thingy or the whole stalk thingy. He said to put in the whole stalk thingy, which is not what was in the video. And he said to peel off the outside leaves if they looked "old and dry". Well, the whole damn leek looked old and dry to me. I started peeling off the outside leaves and then there was like nothing left. So finally I just chopped off the really bushy looking parts and this is what I had left. I have no idea if this is the "leek" part that was supposed to go in the soup.

The FRG insisted I get one of those rocker knives that make it easy to cut shit up if you know how to use a knife. I decided to use it today to cut up my leek and vegetables. After about 30 seconds I stabbed myself in the palm with it and changed my game plan to putting everything in the chopper thing I bought from pampered chef at the party where I got drunk because I saw some guy get hit by a train in downtown Baltimore (got the chopper back from Miss Daisy when I moved):
(http://blonstar40.blogspot.com/2008/02/bad-train-story.html).
The whole soup had to go into the blender anyway, so I figured who cares if I cut it by hand or not...

So I got everything "simmered" (not sure what that means, so I put the heat on medium and went outside and smoked for a while), pureed in the blender, and was down to the last step, when I came across the sentence "add salt and pepper to taste". What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why don't you just tell me how much salt and pepper to put in? Because this is supposed to be a cookbook for morons! I don't know how to taste if something needs more salt or pepper!

I swear, this is why women get a bad rep. The cook book was written by a woman. Why don't you just tell me how much fucking salt you want? Why are you making me guess? Oh, I know, so you can say "that's wrong, I wanted more salt (or less salt) you don't know me at all, I guess you don't care about me". That's why guys get frustrated with women, all you ladies out there. So, next time you write a cook book, think like me, a female engineer. Add MEASUREMENTS because I know you are capable. How do I know you are capable...

Because most women can tell you how much they weighed ten years ago and what size clothes they wore. So how is it that they can't tell you how much salt they put in their fucking soup?

I may bring some soup to the FRG tomorrow if I don't die from eating expired chicken broth. I'll let you know what he says (unless I am dying from food poisoning).