Speaking of chicken, here's a fucked up meat thing I just found out about today. I bought the meat first because I don't like the smell of raw meat and wanted to get that part of shopping done. I have this thing about meat on the bone (gross) so I asked the butcher guy where the flat chicken was. He was like "what?" Dude, the chicken that doesn't have anything but chicken in it. Duh.
So he showed me where it was and I found this package that said Chicken Tender. I thought, that's what I want. Tender chicken. And I thought they were being super fancy like the fucking french, always putting words in the wrong order (like milk of goat - just say goat's milk, for fuck's sake). Anyway, it turns out chicken tender is little chicken pieces. The butcher said what I needed was chicken (hee) breast. So I said "I didn't realize chicken had breasts." And immediately regretted it.
Then I went to the vegetable and fruit section and my guy was there who holds designer apples for me and who just got grapples in on Wednesday (hooray! Denver bitches, I brought you grapples. No graffiti on my garage for at least a year, please.). He gave me a 10 minute lecture on potatoes in general and then we had a consultation session about what I wanted the mashed potatoes to be like so he could select the right potato for me (his advice was perfect so I have to bring him some beer tomorrow).
I made the mashed potatoes by hand, including the part where you have to crush them. l also learned a new trick (not in Betty Crocker) to microwave the milk before you put it in the potatoes from my friend Cam.
I found the chives all by myself without asking anyone.
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| As long as no one gets sick I would say my first dinner party was a success. Plate hand made by artist Annie Glass. Actually, that chicken looks gross. Like an abortion. But it tasted good. |
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