they need a cop at copper

To add to my list of bizarre occurrences, today I went up to copper late morning, after I finished most of my work, to ski. The snow was slushy shit except where it was ice, but still, a day of skiing is better than working.

I got in line and the guy zapping passes said "uh oh, you're on the hot list". The three snowboarders next to me snickered. I was like "what do you mean?" and he said "this pass is reported as stolen". I was like dude, I lost my pass in January, I was just up here Tuesday, how could my pass be stolen? Luckily he recognized me and said "Go ahead and take a lap, and then go to customer service".

The 17 year old boarder sitting next to me was like "oh, you're an outlaw" after we got on the chair. I was like yeah whatever. Jokes about being on "the hot list". I ignored them. Then he asked me if I stole the pass. I told him the whole story but I don't think he believed me. Then he said that I should meet him at the bar for a drink when I was done skiing. I was like "are you old enough to drink?" (that's when I found out he was 17). He said "dude, they don't card me because they've lost so much money this year they'll sell to anyone". Then he invited me to a high school party tonight if I didn't want to drink illegally with him at the bar, assuring me he didn't want to get me in more trouble.

I was like "dude, not only can I drink legally, I'm old enough to be your mom". He thought I was 18. His friends were like "maybe I could see 20" but they didn't believe my real age. They thought I was fucking with them so then they started making fun of me. I was like will this lift ride never end.

I get to customer service after a run, and find out from the woman behind the counter that my pass has been pulled because I supposedly lent it to a friend of mine on Wednesday. I was like this is insane. I argued with her for 20 fucking minutes before she got a manager who re-instated my pass. I know now for a FACT that the person who found my pass has been using it all winter, and even though they assured me that my new pass had a different number I know they are full of shit. I would bet $1,000 they never deactivated my lost pass.

I was like dude, first of all, if I had my pass pulled on Wednesday, why would I come skiing today when the snow is in such shit condition? And if my pass was pulled, why did they not physically pull it? And if my new pass has a different number, why do I have the same number for my old pass stored in my crackberry (from when I got it 3 years ago)? I kept asking sensible questions until the manager re-instated my pass. They kept looking at me like I was a criminal the whole time though. There's no talking common sense with some people, even when I offered to pull up my copper account on the web and show them that I was never re-issued a new pass number.

Then, I was headed down a black run near the super bee lift, going pretty fast (for me anyway), when I stuck a ski edge. I went cartwheeling down the slope, which was ice, and ended up sliding about 30 feet away from my left ski. It was right under the chair lift, by far my best crash yet at copper. People were yelling "OUCH!" from the lift.

A guy skied up to me with my ski and said "wow, you were going way too fast". Anyone who has ever skied with me knows I don't go "way too fast". Ever.

Then he said "don't move, maybe we should call somebody" (I was trying to stand up still at that point). Except for my left shoulder, I was feeling fine so I said "no need". He grabbed my helmet with his huge black gloves, and looked into my goggles (still slightly crooked from the crash) and said "but you might have an aneurysm and then you'll die".

I don't even think I hit my head, so I backed up and said "I'm pretty sure I don't have an aneurysm". The guy said "But that's THE PROBLEM! You won't know UNTIL YOU DIE!" He was getting scarier by the second. Then he said "Promise me you'll go get medical help immediately when you get down". I was like "sure dude" just so he wouldn't grab my head again.

This old dude came up then and said he would ski behind me the rest of the way down. Scary dude left. The old dude shared a chair with me going back up super bee. He asked if I had hit my head in the accident (he only caught the tail end of it). I said I didn't think so. He said "that man who was talking to you was acting strange" and said that's why he skied down behind me and then followed me onto the lift.

Old dude started talking about going to a Rockie's game tomorrow, and said that I should go because "if you're 12 and under you can get in for $1". I looked at him and said "I'm older than 12". He laughed and patted my leg because he didn't believe me.

Okay, now that I think about it, I wear a kid's helmet because I have a small head, and I decorated it with girly stickers. Maybe that's what's throwing everyone off about my age. I don't know. It's not like I'm short. I'm pretty tall.

To end my copper odyssey, I got back to my car only to discover someone tried to I guess break into it. The driver's door handle is pried up and the lock cylinder is knocked back into the door. Good thing I have to leave my car at the airport for a week and can't get the door fixed until I get back. I wonder if someone can just open the door even if I lock it.

Sigh.