Wednesday, January 28, 2009

animals ARE jerks

Someone sent me an article entitled "Are Animals Bigger Jerks Than We Are?" http://www.esquire.com/style/answer-fella/animal-behavior-0209

My first clue that the article was likely going to be stupid is that it was published in Esquire magazine. But, I read it anyway. The conclusion is that people are bigger jerks than animals.

In the article so called "animal experts" say, among other things, that:
  • animals are "too busy" to be jerks
  • animals are always in packs and can't afford to be jerks because they rely on their fellow beasts
  • that you can "enrich" an animal that wants to be left alone and "rehabilitate" it

I don't know where these people got their information or degrees from, maybe Clueless U. Perhaps they should watch some animal shows, or read articles about animals. I'm hardly an animal expert but am able to realize when one great white shark goes up and bites another great white for no reason, she's being a jerk.

And what about squirrels? Are they not considered "jerks" for stealing each other's babies (and sometimes killing the babies), stealing bird eggs, and ripping up people's attics? Monkeys can be notoriously mean to each other. Weaker males are often abused by stronger males until they are forced to go find some other group to live with.

And anyway, aren't people jerks to each other because they are un-evolved? Don't people behave stupidly because they have issues that they haven't addressed? And if they are "not evolved", doesn't that make them like an animal? An animal will kill another animal because it wants food. All you have to do is spend a day in downtown LA to see that same scenario played out on the streets.

I know you think your dog loves you. But if you die, and he's locked in the house, he's going to eat you. At least a human friend wouldn't do that. Normally.

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