Chapter 3: They Rescue a Kangawrong at the Market

Though he pretended to be sleeping the croco-diamond was quite excited about going to a market. He had never been. There was, of course, the issue with people, in a mob, and him with so many jewels.

But the real reason he had never been to market is that croco-diamonds are a bit snooty. They only shop in places like V’Ates on Weremonshire and Hemington’s Definitive Doodads and Edith’s Terribly Refined Comestibles, which are sold in intricately designed little china pots that people save to reuse. Though, they are entirely impractical for any use except for terribly refined comestibles, which come in their own china pot.

The giant man pulled up into a dusty lot next to all the other ticky-tap-taps which were painted Japana-green, Orange-glo, Spangled Yellow, Purple Fright, and other colors. The croco-diamond was a bit miffed that his ticky-tap-tap was sadly, and in not just his opinion, a bland blue.

Soon he turned to other matters of importance, such as the cringle crisp business. The giant man was pulling the four cringle crisp baskets (one had, by the witness account, blown away, and had not been eaten by the croco-diamond as some might suspect) to the edge of the ticky-tap-tap.

From his hammock the croco-diamond cried, “Is this your plan? To just place the cringle crisps nakedly in their baskets? No, no, this is all wrong!” With a flump (his feet) and a palump (his tail) the croco-diamond was out of the hammock and standing in the bed of the ticky-tap-tap.

The noise attracted the attention of the market goers, who started to gather in a group around the giant man. They were awestruck by croco-diamond, regally standing on his hind feet with his tail casually but strategically draped over the side of the ticky-tap-tap. The red streamers fluttered in the gentle breeze.

Close by the sound of an Italianis’ voice could be heard to cry “Termaters! Getta your fresh-ah TER-maters!” The scene was very pleasing to the croco-diamond.

“What we need are boxes. Boxes fit for cringle crisps, an unparalleled snack in all of the worlds.” The croco-diamond paused as if waiting for the crowd to produce boxes.

When that didn’t happen the croco-diamond, remembering his chipped nails, placed his front webbed feet behind his back, as if he was a general surveying his kingdom. But really, he didn’t want the crowd to see his nails.

“Good people! Good people of the market! As you see, before me are four baskets. Baskets which contain…”

But the market goers were already lining up with their brown paper bags. The giant man filled the bags with cringle crisps and collected coins.

The croco-diamond barked out a wuf in a way that he hoped would seem accidental. The market goers in line stopped clamoring forward and took a step back from the ticky-tap-tap, wavering between cringle crisps and the foreboding animal before them that had just barked. Loudly.

Having regained the crowd’s attention the croco-diamond continued.

“A new day is dawning, a new day for the cringle crisp. As you see today, we have a simple, yet elegantly executed operation. But in keeping with the times, new trends, regulations, analysis, and fashion, in the future we will be revolutionizing distribution… boxes, we will have boxes of cringle crisps, my picture of course, on the boxes, perhaps even a name change to croco-diamond crisp… a new day for cringle crisps! I personally will sign every box, with this, my own hand.”

Suddenly, there was a tremendous clatter of boxes somewhere to the left of the ticky-tap-tap, a yelp from the Italianis, and then…

An ominous noise.

Hip squish squish.

The crowd turned to the noise. Which was not coming from the croco-diamond.

To regain the crowd’s attention he waved his large (though at this point besides nail-chipped, slightly dirty) front foot towards the crowd. “Yes, you, you the common people, will have a picture to cherish, a picture of a croco-diamond, with my signature…”

The crowd once again looked at the croco-diamond, who clenched his hand into a fist to hide his nails and to project a sense of power.

Hop squish hip. Hip hop squish. Squish. Hip.

“Hey ya! My-ah termarters! Look-ah what-ah ya did ter my termarters!”

The angry Italianis’ voice caused the crowd to turn away again. This time, the croco-diamond looked too. First he saw…

…giant red footprints.

Was it? Not! Blood! Croco-diamonds can not STAND the sight of blood. It makes them faint, then whimper, and then cry.

But blood does not have seeds. These red footprints had seeds.

Squish hop hip squish thump.

Squish.

Hip.

Squeeeee. Eeeeeee.

Noting the direction the crowd was now looking, and the closeness of the noise, the croco-diamond turned to the right side of the ticky-tap-tap.

Sproing!

One large, rather too large in fact, furry brown ear popped up near the fourth basket of cringle crisps.

Sproing!

A second furry brown ear joined the first.

The croco-diamond wondered, was it...

A rabid bearstein? A mad doglin? A wolf-o-snappish?

Was it…

the worst monster in all of the worlds?

The croco-diamond fought to maintain his composure. Croco-diamonds, because of their long and esteemed lineage, do not show fear even when afraid.

“Show yourself creature, or I shall chop you! With my choppers!” The croco-diamond displayed his white gold teeth, which glistened in a menacing fashion, even with a few cringle crisps caught in the crevices because the croco-diamond had forgotten to floss after eating cringle crisps on the ride to the market.

Poing!

A little muzzle shot up, leaning into the bed of the ticky-tap-tap.

Ploink, ploink!

Two soft brown eyes with very, VERY long eyelashes blinked at the croco-diamond. Who stood with an over-extended tummy full of one too many baskets of cringle crisps, unsure what to do. He felt, to be honest, still a little scared.

The giant man made a noise as if clearing his throat. “I believe, I think, what we have here, is, um, I’m quite sure actually, that is to say... That is a kangawrong.”

“And it-ah murshed my-ah termarters!” cried the Italianis from the crowd.

“Oh your termarters! We are quite tired of hearing of your termarters!” said the croco-diamond. He was very glad that the creature was not the worst monster in all of the worlds or a sneaky-thief trying to steal his jewels.

“But-ah! It-ah murshed my-ah termarters! Punish, I say-ah!”

The croco-diamond made himself even taller than he already was by standing on his tail and puffing out his light green belly even more. “There will be no correction of the creature!” He watched as the long lashes of the kangawrong went “wink wink” and the whiskers on its petite muzzle did a left wriggle and a right wriggle.

“We shall free this prisoner! We shall pay for its wrongs! We,” at this the croco-diamond nodded at the giant man, “shall pay this prisoner’s debts of which debts relate to the termaters!”

The crowd clapped and the giant man looked a little worried at how much the payment would be. The Italianis shouted back, “It ain’t-ah a captive. But-ah, it murshed my-ah termarters! Hopped through-ah and didn’t even look-ah!”

The croco-diamond laid a chipped, but still royal, nail on the kangawrong’s forehead, between the two soft brown eyes, and said “I forgive you. By my order and command as a croco-diamond, I forgive you for your crime.”

The kangawrong looked at the croco-diamond and tilted its head to the side. It raised one of its abnormally small arms and waved at the croco-diamond with its furry paw. Its huge tail went wag wag.

“I think it likes me,” the croco-diamond stage whispered to the giant man. “Let’s take it home.”

He was already imagining how the kangawrong could wait on him, bringing him baskets of cringle crisps while he lazed in the hammock. Even with its stunted arms, surely it could pick cringle roots. Baskets and baskets of cringle roots. One basket of cringle roots equals one basket of cringle crisps and they, the two of them, could pick baskets and baskets and baskets.

The front of the croco-diamond’s snout became moist and his nostrils expanded, breathing in the heady scent of cringle crisp crumbs, all that was left from the day’s market trip.

“Ummmmm… okay,” said the giant man, stacking the empty baskets.

“It will of course have to sit in the front seat with you. There’s no room back here.” The croco-diamond slumped to his belly, pushing cringle crisp crumbs that had fallen to the bed of the ticky-tap-tap into a pile. He then turned to the kangawrong.

“Onward little one! To the front seat of the ticky-tap-tap! Forthwith! Post haste!”

Ploink ploink went the kangawrong’s eyelashes. It didn’t move.

“I believe it’s a bit daft,” the croco-diamond said to the giant man. “Help the dear thing to its seat!”

So the giant man opened the passenger door of the ticky-tap-tap and helped the kangawrong inside. Its tail made a sproing brrroing proiiing noise as the giant man attempted to arrange it comfortably in the cab.

That covered up the sounds of the croco-diamond eating the crumbs of the cringle crisps. Munch munch crunch. He was being very quiet.