snakes, squirrels, soccer, and all that entails

Things have been crazy busy around here. So busy that I went almost three weeks without mopping my floor with a real mop (I consider the swiffer surface cleaning).

On Saturday FH and I did a hike at Herman's Gulch. It's shocking how much water is up there, and how green everything is, given that it's July. Odd summer in Colorado...glad for the rain but miss riding my bike in the evenings (I have too much metal in my body to go out when it's lightning).

forgot to bend my monkey arms - FH took this great pic of me and then I took a pic of him and he was like "that's terrible! it looks like a first day at school photo" - I tried to explain to him that I made him so tiny in the picture because there was a cloud behind him that looked like a penis that I wanted to get in the photo...anyway, I probably won't get to take any more pics of him on our hikes

Nothing crazy happened on our hike except for when he suddenly yelled "snake!" and I jumped on his back because I didn't want to get bitten by a snake. Turns out he was just fucking with me. And then, driving home, there was a torrential rain storm (we literally got back to the car right before the sky started dumping) and I had to drive 15 MPH and still couldn't see the car in front of me. It was a great day.

Sunday I worked with my friend Jess at the last world cup game. From the get go I was tired and fucking stuff up. I didn't check the propane stove to make sure it was turned off when I attached the canister so when I went to light it a bunch of flames came out and almost scorched my face. Then I burned my hand on a pot handle. And then I dropped about 30 packets on the ground. Jess said "Oh Franki!" Ech. But we did sell out of food and I got to meet a crazy drunk Brazilian woman who uses the f word more than I do.

Then Monday I was working at my dining room table (I am trying to not go totally overboard with the treadmill this week) when I heard a horrible noise. I looked at the back door and there was a fucking squirrel trying to gnaw through the screen door. Fucker. Why would a squirrel do that? It's not like it smelled food or that my door is dirty (I disinfect it every Friday night).

instead of chewing on my screen door why don't you go fuck yourself?

other people might see you as cute - I see you as a target - POW

 I think that squirrel must be the grandchild of another squirrel who terrorized my house in 2008. It would jump up on the screen door and make a loud chattering noise. No idea why. That was the same summer a raccoon was nesting somewhere on the roof. I would look out my bedroom door and see the raccoon sleeping on a chaise lounge that I usually sit in in the evenings while reading. The raccoon got taken away because the city of Denver said it had rabies. My neighbor drowned the troublesome squirrel because it attacked his dogs.