my crazy neighbor steals my toothbrush

Last week I ordered a new electric toothbrush because my TMJ is causing some problems with my teeth and my dentist suggested I get a better electric toothbrush (I constantly grind my back teeth which is bad).

I was expecting my new toothbrush yesterday, and was probably more excited than a normal person would be about its arrival. It has settings so it's gentler than my existing electric toothbrush. It doesn't have the smiley face feature where a little smiley face displays when I've brushed my teeth for over two minutes (I know it;s strange, but I normally brush my teeth for at least four minutes) but it does have what the toothbrush maker calls a "sector alarm" to alert the brusher when she's brushed one area long enough.

Anyway, I was in a meeting, walking on my treadmill (14 miles today), looking out the window when I saw my crazy neighbor walk up to my door. Then I saw him walk away with an amazon package which I knew was my toothbrush. I was like WHAT THE FUCK, THAT'S MY TOOTHBRUSH!!!!!!!!! Before I could text him he texted me "I saw a package in your security door and brought it to my house. Let me know when you're home". I was like "I am home now." I wanted to say "BRING ME MY FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH POST HASTE OR I WILL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF!!!!!!!" but I was trying to be polite.

A few minutes later he rang my door bell. The package had been partially opened. But the toothbrush was all sealed up so I was willing to let it slide. I was like "why did you take my package out of the door?" and he said "I just assumed you weren't home" (funny, because I've had packages too big to fit in the security door sit in the snow and rain for days without any of my neighbors taking them in - and this package was in the door - and I'm always home these days).

Then he said "oh, while I'm here, can I see your crawl space redo?" So I showed it to him. He said "how much would you charge me to do mine?" and I said "a million dollars" and he said "all kidding aside" and I said "I'm not kidding".

So, I wonder...did he steal my toothbrush in an attempt to get me to redo his crawl space?

And people say I'm weird...