never take a $200 southwest flight

Got the the airport this morning thinking I would be in california by noon...

...and then I realized I had accidentally booked a flight that had a stop, in L.A (wondered why the flight was so cheap). On the way to L.A. some fuckwit sat in the second row with his two screaming infants. Oh, and he tried to entertain them by playing a video turned up loud enough for me to hear it crystal clear in the fifth row. Heard of head phones you rude asspipe?

Parents, please. Everyone knows kids go in the back of the plane. People who sit up front have status and don't want to listen to your screaming kids as part of their flying experience. On top of which, it takes you FOREVER to get off the plane and instead of letting people who know how to travel get off the plane before you collect your blankie and toys and screaming children you can't control you'd rather block the aisle for 5 minutes.

Ech.

And then, as the flight was taking off for Oakland (I moved to bulk head seating when we landed in LA), there was a woman sitting opposite me, also in bulk head. She got upset about having to put her purse in the overhead (are you fucking kidding me), then got upset that the woman sitting directly behind her, who had obviously had a stroke or something, was burping loudly (she had been brought on the plane in a wheel chair - bulk head bitch wanted the steward to move her back further on the plane and they were like "um, no, because we'd have to carry her" - I would also note stroke lady was in the seat before bulk head bitch sat down in front of her).

Next, a huge guy (as in super tall and not fat, just big) got on the plane and sat down next to bulk head bitch (he barely fit in bulk head, there was no way he would fit in a regular seat). Bulk head bitch started complaining about him sitting next to her because she didn't want to sit next to anyone (uh, you do realize this isn't your private plane???). She threw such a fit that the steward offered to reseat her in row 6. She didn't want to sit in row 6. Then she got off the plane and said southwest would have to put her on a different flight. Then she got back on the plane and decided the tall guy would have to sit next to me (I was in the window seat and another large woman, who was also brought in on a wheel chair, was in the aisle seat).

So he sat next to me and we couldn't put the arm rest down between our seats. Luckily he was nice enough so I didn't mind that he was smushing me into the side of the plane. And bulk head bitch said "Let me give you a drink ticket" to the tall guy because he had been such a bitch but he refused to take it. I was thinking "hey, I'll take it" but she didn't offer it to me.

Turns out tall guy is a lobbyist. I was like "how about lobbying for a law that prevents assholes from buying plane tickets? we could determine the assholes by letting other passengers rate them." He said he'd look into it.