S, this is your thank you

I would like to thank S, the woman who set up the class I'm teaching in DC this week, for putting out the wrong training material on Monday, so I had to get copies made, only to find out she had copies of the stuff I needed and just fucked up. I'd like to thank her for me having to go to Kinko's at 1030 at night to check a proof, and then return at 6 am to pick up my print job, which I didn't need because the material was at the teaching facility, she was just incapable of opening a fucking box to find it.

I'd like to thank S for giving me the opportunity to walk 2 miles carrying that material. And then not coming in to work so, after I figured out she had the stuff I needed, I had to get security to unlock her office door. That took 5 hours and class was almost over by then.

I'd like to thank her for going into my class room today while I was running to the deli across the street to get pretzels and taking the box where I put the extra training materials, and throwing them away instead of sending them back, as I had requested. I'd like to thank her for wasting so much fucking paper it's not funny.

And I'd like to thank her for me potentially getting stuck with a $500 bill from Kinko's that might not get paid by my company, since they can prove they shipped the material and I therefore wasted $500 making copies we didn't need. I would feel slightly better about the whole thing if at least the unused material was shipped to another class. But no, fuck nut, I mean S, decided to throw it away. And then give me attitude, when I found out what she did and went running down the hall to stop her before she dumped it in the trash chute (she literally projected the box into the chute when I was 20 feet away from her yelling "stop!" - then she gave me a look, with her non-lazy eye, and said "oh, I didn't know you were talking to me" even though there was no one else there that I could see that I might have been yelling at - of course, I don't have a lazy eye, so maybe she saw something I didn't - or maybe she's a fucking bitch).

If a tree falls on her in a forest, and no one is around but me, assume I caused the tree to fall and that she did make a sound when it hit her.