make vs. buy

And while I'm launching tirades...

I've been reading this really good book called Warrior Soul, by Chuck Pfarrer. It's his memoir of being a Navy SEAL. I've enjoyed the book a lot.

I found it interesting though, that his whole reason for joining the SEALs is that he got dumped by a girlfriend. Then he went on this huge tear to sleep with as many women as possible. Then he met some woman, settled down (sort of, for a SEAL anyway) and married her. Then he slept with someone else. Actually, two women, at the same time.

And the weirdest thing to me is, through out the descriptions of his escapades with all these women (they don't rate more than a sentence usually, so don't go out and buy the book thinking it's about sex), wife and one night stand alike, he continually uses the term "making love". Love. Really?

I have to say, I've always found that expression to be one of the stupidest and most annoying in the English language (I put it even before the expression "whatever floats your boat"). As soon as someone uses that expression around me I have to fight the urge to vomit on them. But today I started thinking, as I was watching the moron at Kinko's try to comprehend "2 slides on one page", that maybe that is the break down between men and women, or romantics and breeders.

The concept of making something...you make dinner. You eat it. It's gone. There's no sense of existence after the act (unless you eat something you're allergic to, in which case you might throw up - but, that's outside the scope of the point I'm trying to make). Why not be a little more REAL about what's going on? Guys always get pissed when I say "fucking" or "having sex". I guess that's because they prefer euphemisms for what they are doing, especially when the guy is just fucking around. I guess they think that saying "making love" will make the girl feel better when she realizes she's not going to get a return phone call. "Oh, at least we made love" she'll say as she eats a half gallon of ice cream or an entire bottle of Xanax.

Devious trickery is all it amounts to. Guys don't want to say "love" because they're worried about the implications (marriage, pregnancy, belly fat, stretched out chop chop, hormones, divorce or death after many years with a partner they can't stand). So they get around that by using the shady "making love" expression. He figures "it almost sounded like I said I love her, I bet she'll fuck me now". She thinks "oh, he said love". And then after the fact he's all like "I said "make" before, love wasn't a verb, stop calling me, you ho" and she's all like "but I thought you loved me".

I encourage all women to laugh in the face of any man who says "make love". And to understand it's an expression that means nothing. A guy makes love to you, and then makes love to some girl he picks up in a bar while he's on a business trip away from you, and then makes love to some woman he picked up on midnighthookup.com, and then comes to your house and makes love to you again. All vaginas are the same. If a guy really loved you, he would avoid the word like the plague, because he'd be scared that you didn't love him. And then, if you love him, he'll leave you because men can't stand to be happy.

And isn't fucked just more appropriate for explaining how we all end up when we try to have a relationship...