ready to explode in 3, 2, 1

Have you ever seen a human brain explode? Well if you stick around you'll get to see my grey matter splattered all over these hotel walls (and they'll probably be pissed at the Marriott since, for no reason in particular, they called me today and said they've double the price of my room).

So, this AM I got up early to redo all of my time cards for the past three months. That's because none of my customers had customer numbers yet so all the work I've done is sitting in a temp code, showing me as unbillable for the whole quarter. Though nothing could be further from the truth. And it would be bad to show up on someone's list as non-billable.

My manager set up new codes for me. I have to get my time card updated by Friday. The first code, of the three he gave me to use for various projects I've worked on, didn't work because it was fat fingered into the system wrong. The second one was retired and we can't charge to it anymore. The third one was the right code, but I can't get access to it because I wasn't given permission to use it. All of these problems are being corrected, and I'm sure will be done around the time I'm on a plane flying back to DC, and then I'll get in trouble for not getting my time card updated in time.

Then I sat on a 2 hour meeting to discuss the new way we are doing business. I have to go out and scrounge my own work. Great, except that every time I've done that, another organization at my wonderful company has claimed ownership of the client, and I don't get to do any of the work. Also, I'm supposed to call past clients. Since I'm the fire fighter of the team, sent in when others have been thrown off, I don't own most of my clients, some other consultant does. I have clients that schedule me to do work for them, but half the time the work gets given to someone else because it was their client to begin with (even if they screwed up the engagement, they get sent back later) or because the person who does my schedule smokes crack and fucks my schedule up. I'm supposed to update the new scheduling software with my engagements. In my spare time.

Then I went to the training facility where I'm supposed to be teaching class tomorrow. Not only did they ship the wrong material, but I also found out I'm teaching 2 classes instead of one. I'm currently between trips to Kinko's to get my training material copied, hopefully by tomorrow when class starts. I'll be picking the material up at o dark 30 and walking 2 miles with it to my class since there was only Kinko's that could get the job done in time. I have to get to my training class early because the VM image that I teach from has an expired license, I just got the renewed license by email about an hour ago, and I have to install it on 15 different machines before everyone shows up. Assuming the install will work, since no one in my company apparently knows how to set up a new license on the VM image. Hopefully I can figure it out before class starts. Otherwise, I'm really fucked.

I should note that I only found out how fucked my class was after sending a final warning email today that things seemed to be going from SNAFU to TARFU to FUBAR in a quick like manner. Though I've been asking questions about WTF I'm supposed to be teaching tomorrow for the past two weeks, I did not get a response back from the back office until 4:30 today. Nice.

I won't even go into the discussion I had with another consultant about how I should move to DC to ensure I have work, since lay offs were mentioned in the meeting this AM. I took the job I have now to get out of the 3 letter agency gig and so I could live where I wanted and not have to do work with those kinds of people. Now I have this veiled threat that they aren't going to give me work until I move. I respond to that with a big fuck off. I am NOT moving back to this shit show coast. I am not going back to work with those 3 letter guys unless I'm an employee, at which point I will get deployed to some shit show third world country, making more money than my current employer will pay me.

And, I'll get to carry a gun. Bullets I know how to dodge. Bullshit like today just pisses me off.