tigers r us

My sister and her two kids are in town this week. So today I took them to the wild animal sanctuary today where there are (a running theme in my blog lately) lots of carnivores.

They aren't fucking around when it comes to tigers. They have like a billion tigers.

The, haha, cat house. These are new tigers being introduced to the sanctuary. Once they start to like their neighbors they get to be placed in an open environment. Where, hopefully, they won't kill each other. These tigers came from some facility that was shut down. They were being raised for their fur.

Cats sleep 18 hours a day. These tigers are like "fuck you non profit, I don't move around for less than $10,000 a day, raise your money some other way bitches."

Lions. "We're hanging out together because it's cold, but we don't like Ralph over there because he farts a lot." Disappointingly, lions smell like a public portable toilet. But, worse.

Okay, horrible picture, but this lion was standing around with 3 other lions when he decided to take a huge shit. Then he walked away from the group all like "Haha, smell that bitches!" My niece then recounted the time she saw an elephant pee and then shit at a zoo. And I quote: "One elephant shit is like the equivalent of what people shit in two months." The makings of an engineer because she's quantifying things? Perhaps.

Baby black bears. Yeah, I know they aren't black. But science says they're black bears and if you argue with Tony he'll spew facts at you until to freeze in the wind. The blond on the left has just fallen off those logs. The brown dude on the right is about to step into a water pond that isn't frozen. Kids, learning shit the hard way.

Oh, that's what happens when you step on thin ice. Quick, pretend you meant to do that so you could get a drink. Meanwhile blondie is about to tumble down the snow hill. Note to bear self: snow is kind of slippery.

This pic was taken in another cat house where 8 tigers rescued from a zoo that abused them are being socialized. Tiger on the left is pissed at tiger on the right, maybe because she has an exercise ball. Tiger on the right is under the hay bales shrieking like she's getting paid. Bitches starting shit and being passive aggressive. Never see THAT with humans.

 Sanctuary was a lot of fun but super cold to visit in the winter. Think I'll go back when it's warmer. I definitely recommend it for visitors. Tip: you can push them off the elevated walk way if they are annoying visitors. Pretty sure someone will eat them.

Speaking of eating:

In other news, my niece made mexican lasagna for dinner tonight under my tutelage. I let her do everything including browning the meat. It was pretty good (the lasagna). Though, I should NOT be teaching anyone to cook given my track record of ruining stoves and almost burning down apartment buildings. She also made oatmeal bars which were very good. No comment on whether she washed her hands before starting the cooking process (no). What does not kill us makes us stronger.