faren't you glad I called?

I have a friend who purposely farts around me because he knows I will laugh like a four year old, especially when he farts on things he doesn't like (like when his tablet is running slow) or on dogs (it's not animal abuse, and when the dog runs away it trails the fart smell which makes me laugh even harder).

I have never talked to this friend on the phone. And I assumed, like me, he ignores all phone calls. One of the reasons we're friends is that we are both extremely anti-social. It's nice to have friends that don't expect you to do friend stuff. Like talk to each other in real life.

Anyway, my nephew was kind of gassy this evening after eating Indian food. I'm talking farts that sound like the fabric of the universe ripping. So I got the great idea to prank fart call my friend. Then my niece decided we should enhance the prank call with this app she has on her ipad called "big button box". The plan was, when voice mail picked up, for my niece to press the "incoming!" button and then after my nephew farted to play another button that made a toilet flushing sound.

Instead what happened is my friend answered the phone, but on my end we were all laughing so hard and my nephew was farting and my niece pressing all the buttons on the big button box that we didn't notice. Until he hung up and the line went dead.

Now, seriously. Who would have imagined my friend, who I never call, answering his phone when he sees it's me calling?

On speaker phone.

While with his family.

In a restaurant.

Oy vey.