the next buckaroo bonzai: Doomsday Penis Code

Last night I was watching a show called Ancient Aliens in the TV. My customer recommended it and I was too tired to read so the guy at the front desk found it in there for me and I settled down to watch it.

THEN! SUDDENLY! There was a guy from my writer's group being interviewed on the show!!!!!!!! I was like whoa THAT'S WEIRD. So I emailed Kevin:

Remember that guy [] that came to meetings with his boring civil war novel? Well, I'm watching a show and that dude was on the show! There he is again! Weird!

The show is about ufos.

Kevin:

Well, that makes sense. UFOs caused the Civil War, I think. Not-So-Nearly-Ancient Aliens.

Me:

[] was around during the civil war, but the aliens kept him alive to infiltrate our writer's group because some members are also aliens. Mike, if he is an alien, is a kind alien. []'s boring stories were an attempt to put us under hypnotic control.

I won a software award today. I hate my employer. Glad I have a job interview in Aurora next week.

Kevin:

A great big Fonzie "thumbs up!" for winning the award, yet it sucks dead monkeys that they're making shit-tons of money off your "spare time" invention. Definitely get a better job, then sue them. Or better yet, tell them that you inserted a "doomsday" code in it that will delete all the computer's hard drives and replace them with a picture of a talking penis... unless they cough up money for you.

I would not wish Aurora upon my worst enemy. What place in that shithole would require your brain-power and sheer, staggering sense of dry irony?

Me:

Okay, why did I just have to look up Fonzie on wikipedia? Because I'm confused by tv references.

I always code easter eggs. But, nothing that will bring about the destruction of the world. I'm not that good at writing code.

 

Kevin:

 

The point is, to spread the RUMOR that you inserted the code. Not that you actually DID. They can't sell it if the buyers hear there's a DOOMSDAY PENIS CODE ready to delete hard drives. Just like the movie "Independence Day" and that shit was TRUE.

 

Me:

 

Dude, next project, let's co-author a screen play called doomsday penis code. It could be the next buckaroo bonzai.

 

Kevin:

 

"Buckaroo Banzai" didn't make any money, though it was a clever film. I like your idea, though. We'll write the "Avatar" of penis-titled movies.

Me:

Not if I have to watch avatar. My dad turned it off after 10 minutes. I can't watch more than he did because he's my dad.

 

Kevin:

 

Avatar earned nearly $2.8 billion. If we're aiming high (and what penis isn't?) then that's the mark we're looking to hit. But hey, hitting $280 is fine, too.