friday night bar fight

My great week in WVA was ruined friday afternoon. I thought I was going to get out of work on time. But no, my customer found a bug in the software tool I support that was a show stopper.

I worked on it until around 7 and then was too tired to continue. S, a woman who works for my customer, was leaving around the same time and invited me to go to dinner with her.

S is a bit younger than me, and really cute. She's married but wants to divorce her husband. Half the time anyway. The other half she talks about how great he is. We had dinner and I ate my salad and just let her talk.

The bar was filling up with noisy kids so I paid the bill and got ready to leave. S wanted to hang out longer, and since I haven't exactly been a social butterfly, I agreed to go out with her. We left WVA and went to a bar in Sterling VA. I got to be sober driver.

First S called her husband and he showed up at the bar. I thought that was weird. Then she proceeded to try to get him to hit on me. That was more weird. Her husband is a total tool who told me that he did classified stuff, and that he couldn't even tell me where he had been stationed when he was in the air force. I was like whatever dude, you don't even have to have a poly to do your job. I got bored with him and was ignoring him and then S got into a fight with him and I was thinking this sucks. I was really tired and just wanted to leave but her husband left instead.

Then S called this guy who is one of her husband's best friends, and he showed up at the bar right after S's husband left. He was all over her comforting her about the fight. I meanwhile found two very nice guys from India to occupy myself with. Then S started trying to foist her husband's friend, we'll call him M, on me. I started talking to him about software since we didn't have much else in common. S got pissed suddenly and said "if you guys are going to have some boring technical conversation that I can't be in I'm going to talk to someone else!" She stalked off and started talking to some guy at the end of the bar.

The next thing I knew she was back to our little group in tears. It seems she had picked a fight with the guy at the end of the bar and he told her "don't divorce your husband until he pays for plastic surgery to fix your face". There's nothing wrong with her face. I was like "he's just being a dick" but she was crying hysterically. To get her to stop I said "what do you want me to do?" and she said "go kick his ass". The guy over heard her and tried to pick a fight with me. He was like "Oh, you're going to kick my ass?" and then continued on a really mean rant about how I must be a lesbian, blah blah blah. By then I really did want to kick his ass but the female bartender who had been serving me non-alcoholic drinks kicked him out.

Then S and M started commiserating on how no one was ever going to love them, etc. I was getting more and more pissed. There's nothing wrong with either of them, they are making their own problems, and fuck, they live in a place crawling with singles. So I started going off on them because their pity party was getting me down.

Then M started crying, along with S, and said that he had been in love with a woman who was "the one" but that she had died of cancer. This made S cry even harder. I knew the story was total bullshit. The bar was closed by that point so we went out to the parking lot and I basically called M a lying sack of shit to his face. I told him he was fucked up for fucking S (it wasn't hard to deduce, over the course of the evening, that something was going on between them). I told both of them to stop being fuck ups. I guess something I said must have made sense because S stopped crying and we had a great conversation on the drive home. And M sent me an email yesterday saying it was great to meet me.

I got to S's house at 230 in the morning. She was really drunk and couldn't remember directions back to WVA so she invited me in the house so she could ask her husband directions. They got into this huge shouting match so I just left and guessed the way home. I guessed wrong and ended up in Luray, VA. I finally stopped at a gas station and figured out where I was. Got in at 4 am.

I am too old for this shit.