don't ask, don't tell, don't be ridiculous

My sister is mad at me right now because a long time ago I wrote a story about this kid Vic whom I considered my best friend in elementary school. He practically lived at our house. Anyway, a few days ago Vic was forced to leave the military because someone outed him for being gay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NZDRjEKwtQ

Apparently doing a search on Vic found the story on my blog. I've since fixed that. But I got in touch with another friend from elementary school, Steve, (actually, he was my sister's friend) and he's going to try to put me back in touch with Vic.

As for what happened to him, I think it's disgusting and unconscionable. Steve thinks that someone who didn't like Vic outed him. What's insane is that the military is kicking him out.

I really don't get the whole "gays in the military" controversy. First of all, it's the 21st century. Someone's sexual orientation should not even be an issue. Second, it's like discriminating against any other group (african american, jews, etc). Third, that argument about sex mattering is insane.

I work with the military a lot. I get hit on by my customers a lot. Yes it sucks and is uncomfortable, but I manage to do my job. And, just speculation on my part, these are likely the same guys who are worried about who their fellow soldiers are sleeping with. If you're going to discriminate against someone for reasons of sex, why not include everything: people who are married and having affairs, people who sleep with anyone, etc. The soldiers I've talked to who are most against gays in the military usually have personal problems that lead to their opinions. I remember arguing with a guy in the Army about this. He said "I don't want to worry that a fellow soldier is going to hit on me". I was like "That's pretty arrogant to think anyone would find you attractive enough to hit on".

I hope that the human capacity is such that people can learn to respect other people even if those other people are not like them. People who are prejudice against certain groups of individuals are at best ignorant and at worst small minded idiots. As for the religious right, apparently it's too hard for them, or maybe too boring, to love their fellow man. They would rather cause hatred and discrimination against groups of people. I guess it makes them feel somehow important, though to anyone with a brain they just come across as scary because they make a drama about something that isn't even their business. I don't worry about how my neighbors spend their money, and neither should anyone else. Sex is the same thing. It's an individual's right.

A friend of mine left the air force about 3 years ago because she was so stressed about being a lesbian. My friend Neil and I were talking to her and she said "You have no idea what it's like to go to a party or any social function and worry that someone will find out who your partner is". She got to the point where she wouldn't even grocery shop near her base because she was afraid someone might find out she was dating another woman based on the groceries she was buying.

Something has to change with that policy in the military. And the torture policy. I don't see how someone could arbitrarily judge a person based on who they are in love with, and at the same time think it's okay to beat a prisoner to the point of organ failure. But, maybe I'm not that smart.