trash with cash

I thought about this story last night because I was watching the Chappelle DVD and he did this skit called "the niggers", about a white family. He said that he thought it was funny until white people came up to him and started saying racist stuff, figuring it was okay because he had done that skit.

I dated this guy for a while in Colorado, I'll call him A. He had a "best friend", I'll call her R, who had inherited a bunch of money when her father was killed in an elevator accident. She personified the term "trash with cash", having horrible manners on top of being pretty stupid (she completely destroyed her house by turning off the power but not the water one winter while she was out of town; then she lied to the insurance company about what happened so they would rebuild her house).

A left his wife and went on a road trip with R about a year before I met him. There were questions about whether or not he left his wife for R. He was in love with R even though he refused to admit it.

I'd always found R to be an asshole. She treated A like shit, only spending time with him when she needed something. She always complained about money, even though she was rich. If there's anything I truly despise, it's rich people who lack generosity.

R ended up getting married to a guy named Paul, an obnoxious New Zealander who drank a lot. In October of what ever year it was, they were flying to NZ, and asked to stay at my house. I agreed to let them come, thinking if I spent some time with R I might like her better. Paul wanted to go see some DJ playing in downtown dinner, so we planned for them to come to my house, go out to see the DJ, and the next morning they would leave for the airport.

They showed up at my house with a bunch of alcohol. That's strange, I thought. They were drinking in the guest room, I guess because they didn't want to share, although I had no interest in getting trashed drinking the shit vodka they had. Then Paul decided to build a fire in my fire place while I was in the shower, even though I had told him numerous times it didn't work. I got out of the shower when the fire alarm went off and we had to open all the doors to air my place out.

Paul also decided to crank up my stereo to an ear splitting level, pissing off my neighbors. I finally took the batteries out of the remote so he couldn't turn it on since every time I turned the stereo down he would turn it back up. We ordered dinner, and when it came they didn't give me any money for it. I thought that was shit manners, but not unexpected. And, I usually pay for dinner when I have guests; it just pissed me off they didn't even offer to pay.

Fast forward to us arriving at the club. Paul was seriously intoxicated and kept trying to climb into the DJ booth. R was no where to be found. I ended up on the dance floor by myself, and ran into some guys who, oddly enough, had just been transferred out to Denver by my old 3 letter employer. We had friends in common so we talked for a while.

I then went outside to smoke and ran into this guy M. M had just told this girl to fuck off. I looked at him and said "you're a dick". We ended up hanging out the rest of the night. He was a climber and we made plans to climb together since I didn't know any climbers in Denver.

While I was hanging out with M, R came down and told me that Paul was getting kicked out of the club. Her reasoning is that he hadn't bought any drinks. I was like uh huh, it has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's totally drunk and annoying the FUCK out of everyone.

M went with R and I up to the bar where Paul was arguing with the bouncer trying to throw him out. Paul was so out of control they got this huge african american bouncer to help get him out of the club. That's when the horrible thing happened.

Paul called the bouncer a nigger. I was appalled. Having many african american friends, and seeing what they go through on an almost daily basis because of prejudice, I wanted to say something. I wanted to kick Paul in the balls. But I did nothing.

The white bouncer was going to have Paul arrested but M stepped in and stopped them from doing that. As we walked out of the club, Paul called the bouncer a nigger again. I didn't do anything except apologize to the bouncer. The bouncer said "you know, it happens, it's okay". But, it wasn't okay, and isn't okay. Had it been anyone else I would have done something. But I was afraid to cause a conflict since R and A were "best friends". I to this day regret not saying something.

We got home and Paul broke a dish, lost his balance, fell backwards on the floor and hit his head. That's how drunk he was. Then he took my phone and called the club about 14 times cursing and swearing at them for kicking him out. I ended up going to bed because I couldn't take being around Paul and R any more.

The next morning they didn't apologize for the way they acted. They packed up their alcohol and shit and went to the airport. I called A and told him what happened. A said he was going to confront R, and I told him not to bother because it would just cause problems.

But A wanted to confront R because he was jealous of Paul. So when R got back from NZ A told her that I had said that Paul called someone a nigger. She TOTALLY denied it and said I had lied about the whole evening. Even when I got M to send A an email verifying that everything I had said was true, A still accused me of lying. His reasoning: "I've known R for 6 years. I haven't known you that long".

I should have broken up with A then, but I didn't. We went on a break and then got back together. But, since A and R live in a small town, everyone was gossiping about what happened, and I was made out to be the bad guy. I sometimes wished that M had just let them arrest Paul. By trying to protect people that weren't even my friends I had inadvertently fucked myself.

After that, I decided I will never again date a guy like A. I can't deal with people who lack integrity and who have shitty friends. And I will never again stand idly by and let someone call any minority a derogatory name.