art critic

After climbing at clear creek yesterday (it was nice to be outside after being trapped in office buildings for weeks) Dr. Jay dropped me off at my house and came in to see my paintings.

First I showed him the planet exploding painting. I explained to him that some people thought it looked like a giant white anus. Dr. Jay said "Yeah, I can see that". I showed him where I had to paint over the man with the triangular head. He was like "Hmm. Well, it's your first painting." Even though it actually wasn't my first painting. I think the problem with that painting is it's really hard to paint an explosion when you don't know how to paint.

Next I showed him the picture I did of Jamesy, and told him how someone said that it looked like a lesbian. He said the painting made Jamesy look like he had some kind of skin disease. That's because I hand made the color I used for his face, and then I ran out before I finished painting his head. I tried to remix the color but I couldn't get the same shade. So I tried to blend the new color in with the old, which had already dried. I asked Dr. Jay if I should send the picture to Jamesy and he said "Well, um, you know him better than I do". So now I'm all paranoid if I send the picture to Jamesy he's going to get mad at me because he looks like he has a skin disease.

Then I showed him the picture of my fake co-author, and then the photo that I used to paint it. He said "Why is the smoke all over the place?" I had to explain that I couldn't paint the hood on jacket so I just painted smoke where the hood should be. Then I noticed that some of the hat got smeared on his face, so he has a weird grey streak right on his cheek. Dr. Jay looked at the face and said "Well, no one can really paint a face...." I asked again if I should maybe not send the painting. He said "I can't really say. I mean, you know him better than I do. You could just send the pictures and they could always throw them away."

I showed him the paintings I did on Sunday. He said "That's weird" and "Maybe you should repaint that one".

I think I need a painting lesson.