I am SO mad a Joe right now.
The reason, you might inquire? Well, a few weeks ago he sent me a link to this vid that he heard about somewhere, called sharkwater. I procured it immediately (http://www.sharkwater.com/). Then I watched the trailer for it, which showed this guy swimming around with sharks having fun and stuff. I thought it was going to be the best shark vid ever.
I didn't get the vid until yesterday. I had told Joe that I would try to wait until he was visiting or I was visiting him to watch it. But, having the will power of a 4 year old, I ripped off the cellophane and stuck it in the DVD player the second it got dark enough outside to watch it. Then I sent Joe a text saying I was watching it so I would feel less guilty.
The beginnings of the vid are great. This kid goes off swimming with sharks and even some whales. He holds the sharks like cats and pets them. He even swims right up to a great white who just ignores him. It was really cool. It made me want to go swim with sharks this weekend (hard to believe, my last shark encounter was way back in 2004).
But then, the vid went horribly, horribly wrong. The guy in the vid went to cocos island in costa rica and noticed there were no sharks where there should have been a ton since it's a marine sanctuary. Then he found this boat that had strung out all this fishing line to randomly catch shit in the sanctuary! Which is TOTALLY illegal! And the equivalent of randomly shooting up the woods to see what you can kill, and then leaving 90% of what you killed to rot in the sun.
So the guy tried to tell the fishing boat they couldn't fish there and to take in their lines and go away. They refused. So then he called the authorities, who told him to bring the ship in. The ship refused. So the guy started firing water cannons at the illegal fishing boats. Do you know what those mother fuckers did? They started pulling up every shark that was alive on the fishing line and cutting its fins off and leaving the shark to die. They said they were going to keep killing sharks until they were left to go back to fishing. Mother fuckers.
The vid footage just got worse and worse. I guess for the non-sharky types out there, imagine this: a vid of a little cute tiger playing in the grass. Suddenly, some fucking fuck of a fucker comes up to it and sticks a huge hook in its mouth and starts dragging it along the grass while blood gushes out. Then the fucking fucker cuts the little tiger's paws all off, and leaves it in the grass to die. The equivalent was going on in this vid, but with sharks instead of tigers.
I started crying because I was so horrified and angry. I wanted to join this guy's boat and become a pirate and seriously fuck up those fishermen. I wouldn't kill them. I would just cut off a few of their limbs and let them go the same way they definned sharks.
Then Joe called. I tried to pretend I was not crying but then he was like "dude, are you crying?" I was trying to tell him about the vid and he said "yeah, I started thinking, after you told me you were going to watch it, that maybe there would be some bad stuff in it, and that's why I called you". I was like FUCKER, why didn't you call me earlier BEFORE I started watching the vid to tell me that???? And he said "oh, because I had some people over for a barbecue and they didn't leave until just now".
Gee. Thanks. Fucker.
So now I've been a little bit bummed out all day about the stuff I saw in that vid. I didn't even finish watching it because it was too sad.
But luckily, Gadd sent me a very funny link so reading through it has cheered me up. One of my faves:
http://xkcd.com/253/
Though, I am a little insulted because he called me a nerd, and said:
I was laughing away at that site even though I only get about 75 percent of the nerd jokes. I thought, "Who do I know who could possibly relate to and enjoy this more than me?" Your name topped a list with one name on it.
Fucking smart ass. If he thinks I'm going to explain the jokes he doesn't get (probably the ones relating to Perl), he's wrong.
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#!/usr/bin/perl
ReplyDeleteuse Net::Twitter;
use Data::Dumper;
#Methods must be in this form
#$twit->method({arg => "value"});
my $username = "Franki Flowers";
my $password = "painintheass";
my $tstring = "art OR painting";
#Username and Password of Client
my $twit = Net::Twitter->new({username=>$username, password=>$password });
print "searching twitter noise for '$tstring'...\n";
my $result = $twit->search($tstring, {rpp => 100}, {show_user => 1});
foreach my $x (@{$result->{results}}) {
my $id = $x->{id};
my $text = $x->{text};
my $user_b = $x->{from_user};
print "\n*$user_b*=>$text\n";
if (my $result = $twit->relationship_exists($username, $user_b)) {
print "$user_b = yes\n";
} else {
print "$user_b = no Creating...\n";
my $r1 = $twit->create_friend($user_b,"follow");
print "Screen Name: $r1->{screen_name}\n";
print "Real Name: $r1->{name}\n";
print "Location: $r1->{location}\n";
sleep(15); #better go slow or the tweet police will notice
}
}
Great. A geek is reading my blog. I'm curious as to who wrote that...
ReplyDeleteif (moves.size() == 0)
return null;
else {
CheckersMove[] moveArray = new CheckersMove[moves.size()];
for (int i = 0; i < moves.size(); i++)
moveArray[i] = (CheckersMove)moves.get(i);
return moveArray;
}
}
admit it, good code makes you want me.
ReplyDeleteWould I be incorrect in suspecting that you once threw a cup of water on me to see if I would melt like that witch in the wizard of oz?
ReplyDelete