Yesterday I was doing some work, wondering if I was going to get to go out for sushi with my friends Becky, Craig, and Peter, when I got a text from Becky. Her husband Callum owns the wee garage, and he's the one that fixed my headlights. On Friday he accidentally hit himself in the eye with a pair of vice grips.
Worse, it was the same eye he had injured two years before, when a hot shard of metal penetrated it. Callum woke up yesterday with a painful eyeball, that was full of blood and swollen. Becky text said that Callum didn't want to go to the hospital but that she was worried about him, and that she probably wouldn't be able to go for sushi.
Seconds later, I got a text from my climbing partner Dr. Jay. Suddenly the little hamsters in my brain got back on the wheel. Wait a minute, I thought. Dr. Jay is...an eye doctor! And, he was at work, in an office really close to Callum's garage.
Dr. Jay agreed to see Callum and get his eye straight. Luckily the damage wasn't too bad and all Dr. Jay had to do was write Callum a prescription for some steroids. So, sushi was back on, though Callum decided not to go since his eye is looking pretty disgusting.
Everyone came over to my house, except for Peter, who couldn't come. We killed a bottle of wine, everyone made fun of my yard (I think my favorite comment was Craig's "Next time you buy rose bushes, pay the extra $2 and get ones that are alive"), and then we walked to Sushi Han, where another bottle of wine was procured and subsequently demolished. Much sushi was consumed.
Then everyone came back to my house and we drank 2 more bottles of wine. Becky and Jay didn't leave until almost 4 in the morning. We had interesting discussions about fake tits, torture, crazy drunken friends we've had, skiing, mormons, the intell community, how cats can spray things out of glands in their asses, and robot uprisings. Craig finally figured out that my phobia of midgets must come from trauma as a child watching the movie "the wizard of oz".
After everyone left I sent some drunken emails to the overlord of enterprise architecture for my company, who lives in UK and happened to be waking up right as the last bottle of wine was being consumed. I was supposed to send him a slide yesterday and didn't because it wasn't done. A short discussion ensued with the overlord where I (hee) accused him of being a robot. I don't know why I did that, except that I was drunk and thinking of robot uprisings. Then I sent him an email saying I was going to give him a turin test, realized my mistake, and then sent another email saying that I meant turing and that turin was a small town in Italy. To which he responded "And didn't Jesus get some of his clothes there too?"
So I guess I won't be fired, at least not this week. The slide still isn't done. And my head hurts.
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