Invasion of the Towels

Now that I am traveling 100% of the time I am struggling with my desire to save the planet. At my house, for the record, I recycle 90% of my trash. My dad is afraid to throw anything away at my house because I am that serious about recycling.

But now, living in hotels, I am struggling. I carry grocery bags of recyclables all over the city of Houston to get rid of my trash (recycle cans and bottles at my building, recycle papers at the Starbucks down the street, carry plastic bottles to the airport for recycling at the end of my trip, the Super Shuttle guy thinks I'm homeless and crazy). I have even, I am embarrassed to admit, brought my trash home to Denver because I couldn't find a place to recycle it.

Meanwhile the hotels, with their stupid signs "can you sigh backwards" (whatever THAT means) and "we are trying to conserve water - a towel on the rack means I'll reuse" blah blah blah are lying! It's so much bullshit!

For example, I'm staying at a Hilton. I arrived in my room and found 12 towels. Yes people, TWELVE towels. I am ONE person. I am staying for A WEEK. Unless I'm delivering babies, I have NO NEED for TWELVE towels.

The towels are arranged in little milieus, such as "no, I'm not a wash cloth, I'm a beautiful white flower hanging over the toilet". You can't even use these towels for the purpose intended because they are all contorted into these weird bunchy designs. Why can't they just put up an antler lamp and get over the decorating? (ha ha, antler lamp Janet, I know you are reading this)

So when I first started staying at hotels I would have my travel agent call the hotel (she loves me) and request that I only have one hand towel and one bath towel in my room, and that my sheets not be replaced. Do you think these bitches listened to my request? NO! I find myself in the situation of stacking new towels that show up in my room every day. I wish I was joking but right now I have nine bath towels stacked up on my sofa. I don't know how many washclothes are there, but there are ten hand towels. I have left numerous notes for the maid to not bring ANY more towels. Or soaps, bottled waters, or shampoos. But they keep coming. I can feel the earth buckling under my room.

And this room in particular...I requested a non-smoking room that doesn't smell like smoke (it's Texas so you have to be that specific - it's the lone star state, not the smart mind state). They gave me a room that smells like static electricity. My first night here I realized the bath was leaking hot water - enough to half fill the tub in the course of 5 hours (I blocked the tub so I could measure the water loss). I called the front desk and complained. I left a note for the maid. I put a sticky on my door explaining to the plumber what I thought was the problem.

When I got home from work the next evening, expecting over the course of 12 hours they could fix the problem, I found my leak was not fixed. But somehow I gained a flat screen TV. I am still trying to figure out how "tub leak" translated to "need a flatter TV". The world will never stop amazing me....