psychopath PINSM

This is the latest PINSM I made for a guy I work with named B. He's pretty much the craziest, most obnoxious person I've ever met so of course we get along like a house on fire. He interchangeably uses "psychopath" and "aspie" when referring to me. And he says "why are you so WEIRD?" when ever I do anything in his presence. Not that I do anything psychopathic or weird at work (is wiping one's desk off with an antibacterial wipe after someone who isn't me has touched it weird?). He says stuff like that thinking it will make me cry. I'm the only woman at work that he hasn't made cry.

Anyway, this week he got me on the dark net (meaning I can use my personal laptop to send emails which I can't do on the company internet). And he gave me admin rights, temporarily, on my laptop. 

But, besides being helpful, he also did something really bad. I've been getting crazy requests now for existing architecture that I've created so people can use it for their projects. A dude from another company asked for my SV-1 (system interface diagram) yesterday because he's trying to figure out which point to point interfaces should be replaced with data services. I told him I would email it to him and as he walked away I realized I had no idea what his name was. 

So after most everyone had gone home I snuck over to his cube and got his name, Richard. Well, at this place you can't send an email like "blah blah, here's the shit you asked for" because that's considered unprofessional and I couldn't call him Mr. [his last name] because he's a contractor like me, and B happened to still be in his office, and he works with the guy all the time, so I was like "B, you work with this guy, what does he go by? Richard? Rich?" and B said "I think they call him Dick."

I've been working 80 hour weeks the past few weeks...lapse of judgement...so...I sent the email "Dear Dick, here's the SV-1".

Turns out he goes by Rich.

But Rich laughed. And B takes the emergency exit (the alarm is disabled) out of the building to avoid walking by me.

I'm going to work the phrase "I think they call him Dick" into every conversation with B until he apologizes