That's my belief, anyway, if for no other reason than I had to put together an IKEA bookshelf. You know, the one with the weird instructions where the thing that looks like a tear drop with eyes is calling the IKEA hot line and where you have to line up like 12 screws to put on the side of the book shelf and they don't line up and then you drop the bookshelf on your toe which really hurts because the fucking thing weighs 75 lbs. Which you know because the guy in the IKEA loading zone told you as he was watching you struggle to lift it and put it into your car and then he goes "I could have helped you with that" and you don't even respond to him because you're pissed that the most important part of the bookshelf, the casters, were sold out and you watched a couple take the last set from the far end of the IKEA furniture pickup warehouse. When you checked on line the hour before there were 8 sets left.
For real. They sold out in 45 minutes?
I should have known better. I haven't been to IKEA since I was almost killed by one of their closets in NYC.
BTW, the IKEA here doesn't have cookies. What's up with that?
As I was struggling with my bookshelf I started thinking it would be really funny if that 70 virgins waiting in heaven for matyrs was a typo and when they die and get to where ever they're going they instead have to put together 70 pieces of IKEA furniture. For the record, the arabic word (one of them) for virgin is "baakira". I could see how someone not paying attention could translate "virgin" instead of "IKEA".
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