smiley face counter top

A few weeks ago I picked out a counter top for my kitchen remodel. I started calling it the smiley face counter because it has a bunch of faces in it:

When Christine went to order it she found out it's no longer being made (it's recycled quartz). Tres depressing. She called all over the place and then I did a search. The only place that still has the counter top is Vancouver, BC. I contemplated a drive there but don't have any vacation at work yet.

So then Christine found this for me. It's called Spring Blossom. No faces, but it's colorful:

And how about that fake clam!

She told me to go to Stone Collection to get a sample that I could take home. Stone Collection is the largest granite/stone warehouse in Denver. I went there and met a very cute guy who immediately informed met that Spring Blossom is also discontinued.

FUCK!

Sensing my angst, or perhaps because he saw me trip over a granite sample and cut my foot so badly it started bleeding, he offered to walk me through the granite warehouse. They have loads and loads of granite. It was overwhelming. Every time I saw something I liked he marked it on a little checklist.

When we got done he asked my price point. Then he complimented me on my good taste. Granite is rated from 1 (cheap) to 7 (costs more than God). I had picked out 2 7s and 2 slabs that weren't even priced (the rating said "exotic"). I had wasted an hour and a half for NOTHING.

Then I saw some Vettrazo counter tops. There's one made out of recycled skyscraper bits, one made from traffic lights, and this one, Alehouse Amber, made from recycled beer bottles:

I was like "I love that!" and the guy was like "um, that's going to cost four times your budget per square foot".

Wah.

Christine had also given me some miniature samples of quartz. I wasn't crazy about them until I got home and realized that my kitchen is being demolished in two weeks and I have no fucking counter top and I've been to the largest stone dealer in Colorado and hated everything but the stuff I can't afford and couldn't afford unless I was a multi-multi millionaire.

I looked at one of the samples...and noticed:

Smiley face counter top the sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And men with sunglasses!!!!!!!

Yeah, it's a shitty picture. Do I look like someone competent enough to operate a camera? Trust me, the sample is SMALL.

Anyway, I think I'm going to order smiley face the sequel on Monday. If it's out of stock I will scream. And then cry.

I'm sure my writer friends will weigh in with their opinions, which I will ignore, because tomorrow Kevin invited everyone over to my house for dinner and a reading. We have a new member in our group, another woman to even things out a bit.