Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXTREME WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I just have to edit it by Wednesday so I can send it in to the contest. Special thanks to Kevin C. from my writer's group who has done some editing for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've made a bunch of revisions, will try to post some sections later.
For now, here's the section (not edited yet) where the giant man, kangawrong, and croco-diamond go to deliver the mittens to the whitey biteys:
And so they embarked out onto the wharf. First the croco-diamond, in charge of the mission, went out thump thump skrrrr, swinging his tail from side to side to clear any possible splinters as to protect the kangawrong. Next the kangawrong hop hip hop hop bump. And finally the giant man, carrying all of the parts for the siege craft thum shudder thum shudder.
boom! (from when he set the parts of the siege craft down on the wharf).
The giant man helped the kangawrong set up the kangapult while the croco-diamond read off his instructions, occasionally checking by the position of the sun to be sure things were happening on time. He paced back and forth in front of the kangapult frantically consulting his papers as the giant man and the kangawrong wrapped twine, placed parts, and adjusted angles, until finally -
“If I could have your attention PLEASE!” Commanded the croco-diamond. “Is the spoon situated?”
And though he could see it was, as it was right in front of him, he insisted the kangawrong give a little HOP! that it was situation.
“And the flip flop fastened?”
HOP!
“The twine…er…twound?”
HOP!
“The mitten positioned?”
HOP!
“Then by my order, as a croco-diamond, leader of this mission, and member of the royal order of this croco-ttalion…”
He had made that up, actually, but thought it sounded official.
“…on this day, at this particular time…”
He checked the position of the sun then referred to his piece of paper to make sure they were right on time.
“…for the mission on which we’ve embarked, for the good people of the oceans, here after referred to by their formal name, of which the name is and shall be the whitey biteys, of the genus charcharodon whitemous…”
He noticed that perhaps the giant man and kangawrong were becoming a bit bored, so he decided to skip the part of his speech about the dorsality and chillianisimmi of the whitey biteys and get on with the mission.
“I hereby command, ye there forward kangawrong, the preparing for, and, ye, the commencement of…”
And with that the kangawrong hopped high up onto the flip flop (a bit early but the croco-diamond excused the poor thing for being nervous and resolved to finish his speech later, at dinner, there were at least 10 more pages left). The flip flop side of the zippy shoe skate, correction, the kangapult, hit the wharf, which shuddered with a wooden creak brrrm. The spoon shot into the air and the mitten in its bowl arced gracefully up, up in the air, flying! In flight!
And then landed rather anticlimactically on the croco-diamond’s snout.
The kangawrong’s ears fell flat. Its eyes went PLOCK PLOCK.
“One moment, I’m checking the plan…” The croco-diamond shuffled through his papers, muttering, “But, but I’m GOOD at physics.”
And suddenly an ocean wind blew across the croco-diamond’s nose, carrying the mitten off the wharf! And into the water!
“Quick! Quick!” shouted the croco-diamond. “We must…”
Just then a triangular fin broke the surface. And a rotund head with two black eyes popped up, bearing a mouth full of boy that’s a lot of teeth, and looked at all who stood on the wharf. The creature slipped a fin into the mitten and disappeared again beneath the water.
“As I was, ahem, saying, we must have included some extra steps in the plan which, in the interest of efficiency, I now think we can eliminate.”
He gestured with his front foot at the kangawrong.
“Carry on with the plan.”
No comments:
Post a Comment