so much for my new laptop

I'm returning my new laptop. Why? This will make you laugh.

I submitted an IT request to get my new computer imaged so I can use it for work. My buddy Harry called me and told me:

• I can't use a personally purchased laptop for work without my manager's approval (???? if the guy won't approve for me to buy a new laptop why would they think he wouldn't approve me to buy my own laptop?) but Harry wasn't sure in what medium the approval had to come (email, form, whatever)
• My laptop type was on the list of approved list of laptops that those people who are allowed to upgrade can upgrade to (those would be the sales people, who, yeah, need an amazing laptop so they can watch youtube videos while they sit in the back of my class) but the model number of my new laptop was not on the list (the model number is this arcane thing that tells them what month and year my laptop was built though the year itself corresponds to other number which I thought was a model number but is instead the model name - even though it's a number) so they won't image my laptop. Which is stupid. How different can 4 laptops with varying model numbers be? Are they really making major changes every month they release a new laptop?
• Harry couldn't find the list of approved model numbers for laptops so I could swap my new laptop for one of the approved laptops when I return it. He clicked on 10 links, cursed, clicked some more, finally went out to google (my company's web search sucks on the internal site - everyone uses google to find stuff), found a promising link, but the page was down. So now I don't know which model laptop I can purchase that will be supported by IT.
• If I am finally approved for a laptop refresh I'm stuck with Windows XP "because that's what you have now" according to Harry. I have to set up my new laptop, wait at least two weeks, and then apply for a Windows 7 reimage. One of the other reasons for upgrading my laptop is to take advantage of 64 bit computing so I don't have to wake up every 3 hours while I'm uploading customer data to start the next upload (it takes me 3 hours to upload a 32,000 row spreadsheet - I can do the same upload in Windows 7 64-bit in 15 minutes - I don't waste consulting time with my customer uploading because it locks up my whole computer - I have to do it when I get home at night, one of the reasons I work so much). I have never, in any company I've worked for, heard of such a fucking stupid policy. Since 1992, every time I've gotten a new computer it's always had the latest software on it.

I could almost forgive this insanity if I worked for a stupid hippie commune run by luddites with liberal arts degrees. But, no. We are an IT company that makes hardware and software. 

I would cry but instead I'm going to pet my new fluffy fleece boots and pretend they are a cat (well, I'm going to put waterproofing on them anyway) while watching the last episode of an interesting documentary called The Farmer's Wife.  They would probably look at my life and laugh at what I consider stress.