chronic

Last night I had a very disturbing dream.

In the dream I was walking down a city street, like New York but it wasn't there, and then I noticed I was carrying a one year old kid. It was a boy with curly light brown hair and blue eyes. I was suddenly filled with a sense of dread because I realized the little boy was my kid. I was walking down the street wondering why I had this kid.

Then I was in a shopping mall but it was totally empty, except for me and this kid. I knew that I had to do something with the kid, but couldn't remember what it was. I was trying to remember if I had fed the kid lately.

I was thinking how people always say that when you have a kid of your own that you will love it and how wrong they were. I didn't care about the kid at all. I wanted to leave it in the mall and walk away, but I was afraid to because there was no one there but me and I didn't want the kid to die.

I'm pretty sure this dream was about my knee. I've been stressing out about it lately, to the point where Jeffy thinks I should go see a doctor to see if there's anything further they can do for it. I'm annoyed that I can't do a bunch of things I want to do (jump out of a plane, run a marathon, not ski like shit) and lately it's been hurting a lot no matter what I do (exercise, ice, heat). At the same time, I'm worried another surgery could make the problem worse.

Of course, I'm not in a refugee camp in Darfur, so I really shouldn't worry too much about minor things...